Hello again,

I've become aware that the two county student orchestras that my son participated in (January and March) offer scholarships for summer study for his grade level. At one of the concerts, a child was presented with a scholarship on stage. In the booklet were names of other children and their grades/districts and the scholarship they had been granted. So anyway I became aware of all this 2.5 weeks ago. I emailed my son's school orchestra teacher asking for scholarship info, applications, any deadlines, etc. No response. A week after that, I emailed the MS/HS chairperson, with same question. No response. So late last week I followed up again with the orchestra teacher, including my concern not to miss any deadlines. Again, no response.

I've become aware that the school music dept is supposed to make families aware of scholarships and provide them with the applications. While waiting for their response, I checked the websites of the county orchestras, hoping to find scholarship applications. None, no links either. This confirms that the schools are the liaisons, as they are members of these county orchestra organizations (all players represent various school districts).

So I'm a bit angry, but don't want to come across like an irate parent. The 3 emails I sent were friendly and professional. So I don't understand this lack of courtesy of response, as well as not being provided the info I'm asking for. I've never had this experience with any of my son's other teachers, ever. I also suspect they are not responding because they know they dropped the ball and all deadlines have passed for summer scholarships.

Please help me understand what to do, and how to approach them. I'm angry about this but obviously I have to be careful about what I say and what I ask for... Thanks so much.

I would go in and ask in person. They can ignore your emails but you might get some success with a face to face conversation.

But how should I approach the topic. How to address the fact that they're deliberately choosing not to reply. And deadlines may have passed. No other teachers have ever done this. As an advocating parent what do I say without earning a reputation as an irate parent.

I think I would just go in person and ask them what is the best way to contact them, as you had tried email and didn't get a response. There is a chance that your emails went to their junk mail folder.

After that is cleared up, then you can explain (or remind them, depending) the topic of your emails and discuss it.

Emails were sent through the parent portal to teacher. Impossible to be marked as spam. I have emailed them before on other topics and responses received, all well and good. It is this scholarship topic that they are not replying to. Like I said, I strongly believe it's because deadlines passed and they never passed along info on time.

Even though you know perfectly well that the email didn't get marked as spam, you are giving the teacher an opportunity to save face by bringing it up as a possibility. Send a nice, breezy email that says, "Hey, I emailed you before about music scholarships, but didn't get a reply. I wanted to check in again in case we had our wires crossed or something." You can cc the principal if you want to guarantee a response.

It might depend on what grade my child was (we have the same music teachers all three years of MS), but honestly, I would re-send - not through portal if you can- and copy principal and county orchestra. I would say that I am concerned because you aren't sure who is supposed to be in charge of this at your son's school and you are not getting any response to your emails. I would add that you were very surprised to learn of these scholarships - AT the concert! Both my sons are in orchestra in MS (luckily I love the teachers) and there isn't really a lot a teacher could do to retaliate in our school. Not to mention, if that is the worst parent email they get, I'd be surprised! Now that my dd is a teacher, I realize that if I'm not swearing and screaming at teachers, I'm not the worst. And she (dd) usually just feels bad for the student if they have that kind of parent. It doesn't make her angry at the student.
So, I'd call them on it. I hate to say, but I think you're right and it's probably too late for this year, but maybe it won't happen again next year!

My second email to orchestra teacher was exactly that... which I sent 5 days ago. So what now, write a third time to him and a second time to the chairperson, and cc the principal?

that's why I would go there in person. I would say you haven't received any response and would like to find out the information. They can't ignore you when you walk in.

Hmmmm... I didn't realize that the MS/HS chairperson was the person at the orchestra (I thought you tried both the MS and HS contact, but that there was yet a third party running the actual orchestra). So, that complicates things. One other option I've found that works is to call the principal and ask him/her to follow up. Sometimes parents here email the superintendent, which I think is a bit of overkill, but let me tell you, the parents always end up getting a response! In our school, going in isn't necessarily an option. Parents can't just show up or walk in - they are stopped at the door and would be told to make an appt with the teacher (which is kind of hard when you can't get a response!). However, again, I've known parents who go into the front office and say they'll be happy to wait until the vice principal or principal is available for a minute. I had a friend who just brought a big book with her and settled in... time consuming but effective! The principal came out rather quickly and problem was addressed.
I'm sorry it's taking such an effort to get a response. It must be incredibly annoying.

Who gives the scholarships? The county orchestras? Go and ask them.

Honestly, I'd give it up. It sounds like the scholarships have already been decided for this summer. If you want to pursue it, the next thing I'd do is go in and talk to the orchestra teacher in person. You've done everything that makes sense via email, and you've had no responses from anyone. Taking it to a higher level in email may only annoy the teacher, and this is just your ds' first year at middle school.

I'm also not so sure I'd jump to the conclusion that they are ignoring your ds or skipping over him or not doing their job - they may have experiences under their belt that you're not aware of. Maybe there are scholarship requirements that they knew your ds wouldn't meet, maybe they actually applied for a scholarship and he didn't get one. Maybe the teacher nominated a different student who he knows is economically disadvantaged and would benefit from the program. Or the teacher could be a complete jerk about the whole thing... but you really won't know until you talk to him in person.

FWIW, our school district staff responds to emails when it's "safe" to respond, but if an answer that a parent is looking for in any way might be controversial or suggest that the school should act on something etc... the teachers always pull the parents aside to answer (at school) or call at home. They are very cautious about what they will put in writing in an email.

Is this summer program something your ds can participate in without having a scholarship? If it's fun and engaging and he wants to do it, I hope he has a chance to.

Best wishes,

polarbear

Thanks momtofour! Sorry I didn't make it very clear before... the county orchestras are formed by music educator associations, representing schools across the county/counties in this area. They're big concerts and the schools are always proud to say that x number of students were nominated and performed. The chairperson that I emailed works for my school district only and is the head of the MS and HS music departments. You would think that this person would be up to speed on scholarships, right?

I guess what I'll do is go visit the main office, and just wait until the principal has a moment to talk to me.

This is what separates quality districts from the rest I suppose. I am sure the deadlines have all passed for summer 2014 awards. I am upset that they didn't provide us with the forms, and I had to find out about these scholarships and their recent winners in the concert program booklet.

What do I tell the principal I want? I want a productive conversation, not just to complain and express my disappointment.

Ah, now I get it. My ds did two MEA festivals this year (he's a bass player, so Jazz and regular orchestra)and they were a really wonderful experience! I agree that the teachers may have other information, may know criteria better, etc, but I still think that there are two things that you need to address:
1) "I'm having trouble getting a response from XX. I emailed several times. It's been over a week." (in our district, 24 hour email response is the expectation, and the principal takes that seriously).
2) "I feel like there is a lack of information, and a lack of transparency about the music scholarships." I think you can be very sweet, and say, "I realize that I don't have all the information, but I know I'm not the only parent who would like to better understand this process." You can even add, "Ds has had such a great experience with orchestra; he was disappointed he didn't have the chance to learn more about this." If you're really kind, "I don't know if this was handed out in class and DS forgot to give me the information on this; you know how forgetful preteen boys can be."

We had a teacher who basically just blew parents off all the time. The deal was, no one complained, and the principal had no clue. I think it's appropriate to follow up on this, because it's appropriate that you would get a response.

I agree that talking it can't hurt to talk with music director. I would go into in telling them your are confused about how the details of admission to this program works, and that you would hope they would clarify them for you. Sounds like decisions have already been made for this summer, but it doesn't hurt to have a good idea of how it works for next year.

One thing I noticed in your last message, you are using the term nominated. To me that means a music director or teacher choices a few top players out of their orchestra/band to go to an audition for entrance into the orchestra. There is then an audition, where the musician has to show ability and final decisions are made buy those directors. One has a greater chance of participating in these if one pays a more unusual instrument.

Good Luck.

Thanks momtofour. I like your (1) and (2). Yes all the other teachers reply within 24 hours, some within 2 hours!


But after reading what another person posted, I am a little worried that my going to principal, even if I'm nice and calm, will affect how my son is treated by orchestra teacher afterwards. I didn't think about that before. Does this ever happen?

Although I'm sure it happens, I honestly (naively?) don't think it happens too often. I have a few friends who teach in the district and I really think they're able to separate the parents from the students. Plus, most orchestra teachers really enjoy working with talented and hardworking musicians. My older ds is more hardworking than talented when it comes to music, and definitely not going to make a living at it, but they seem to love seeing him progress and are so encouraging. I can't imagine that they'd suddenly take it out on him if I complained. And again, I think your complaint is pretty mild compared to what they get from some parents (sadly). If you are worried, you can always put a reminder in your calendar for next September and start sending the emails then - "I want to make sure ds doesn't miss any opportunities this year, so I'm wondering if you have any information on..." or you can bring it up at curriculum night or open house, when you are sure to see them.

Great idea about the calendar reminder for myself!

From my experience, there are many teachers who have high anxiety over any possible confrontation or even simply meeting a parent and many of them avoid contact if the exchange might in any manner be negative. I'm not saying that's necessarily the case here, however, please understand it's pretty normal among teachers. They're simply not trained in college in how to professionally handle parent interaction.

+1

CC in the principal or someone in the board office. That usually works great.

Can you ask for a conference with the teacher/director? It's harder to avoid people when you are face-to-face. Ask about the scholarships, when the eligibility date is/was, and if it has passed, what your child needs to improve upon in order to be considered next year.

Is there a gifted coordinator who can act as a go-between to ensure you're in the loop for these types of opportunities?

No gifted coordinator in this district. Son's orchestra teacher and the school district music chair STILL have not responded and now it's been 3 weeks. Fortunately son's private violin teacher obtained a scholarship form for us, for one which we still have time to apply for. However it must be submitted through school music teacher-- the same person who has not gotten back to me. I don't even want to ask him for the required recommendation letter. We hope they accept letter from private teacher because apparently the public school isn't prepared or willing to help.

I just don't understand why, and literally don't know what to say to them.