We have identical twin boys who turned 6 in october. They are going to a highly regarded gifted school. They are in the 4-6 year old entry class. There are two separate classrooms, and the school's preference / policy is to seperate twins into different classrooms.

What we see is that classroom 1 has a phenomenal teacher, and DS is thriving in that class. Classroom 2 has a teacher that is not connecting with DS2. The teacher is stern, strict, constantly reprimands the children, and DS2 underperforms in class. DS2 is sullen at the end of the school day while DS1 is happy and joyful. DS2 is starting to have behavior problems at home acting like he is a 4 yr old, temper tantrums etc. DS1 seems to mature more every week.

We see a couple issues...
1) Teacher fit... kind, gentle teachers that encourage the boys do well with them. Stern, strict teachers turn them off immediately.
2) We suspect that the twins perform better together as they are more comfortable. DS2 will "act" like the other kids around him. If they perform significantly lower than him, he will "act" and perform like them too. When he is with his brother, he performs to his potential.

We want to advocate for having the boys put in the same class, but we are running into resistance. The school wants to keep twins apart. We can find no reseach suggesting that this is beneficial, and I can only find two studies (kings college and one other) that note that separating twins, especially identical twins seems to cause more emotional issues while not improving academic achievement.

We are also having issues around the critique of the teacher our DS2 does not get along with. The teacher is well regarded at the school, but we see that she is a bad pairing with our son.

Any help out there for advocating for keeping twins together in school? Any help with how to get kids moved when they are in classroom situations that cause crying, emotional distress and underperformance?

Thanks!

I'm a twin mom, too. And although my boys have never wanted to be in the same classroom, if they did, I would fight tooth and nail to make it happen, if I thought it would be good for them. So, I think you're doing the right thing to try to keep them together.

Our school also separates twins, but it's state law that the parents get to decide whether to keep them together. What is your state law? What's your district's written policy? Maybe you can get some help there.

This article sites the rare research studies on this, plus gives a name of someone who regularly writes letters to support parents of twins who want to keep them together. Maybe that would help?

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/02/24/national/24twins.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

As for the teacher fit issue-- I wouldn't hesitate to be blunt about the reasons for requesting a move: You see your other son thriving, and while you realize the teacher has some good qualities, it's just not a good fit for your son's temperament. I think you could expand on the comparison between the two's performance and after school behavior. To me, this isn't an issue of whether you're hurting the teacher's feelings, it's of making sure your son is in the right environment to thrive, just as his brother is thriving. And I would stress it's not personal, when trying to make the move.

On the other hand, is it possible the situation could work out? We considered moving our 6 yo daughter (not a twin) out of a highly gifted class last year because she and her teacher were a poor fit. My dd told me the teacher was stifling her creativity! The teacher was strict, quiet, not artsy-- basically everything my daughter is not. But we knew the teacher because one of my twins had her (it was a great fit for him), and she's an award-winning teacher for gifted kids. We decided to stick it out and provide creative outlets at home. My dd has the teacher again this year (it's a 1st & 2nd grade class) and it works beautifully this year-- my dd just needed to mature in order to "appreciate" this teacher's high expectations. With feedback, the teacher has also gone out of her way to try to give my dd opportunities to be creative.

Good luck!

If you have one coming home happy and one miserable that seems to be a pretty conclusive case for a transfer. Some multiples do find it a relief to have a break from each other but not I imagine at the cost if one being miserable.

I have a pair of boy/girl twins who have always been in the same classroom. They are a source of support for each other even though they have their own friends. I had to request the same classroom for them prior to K (before tracking kicked in) and prior to 5th grade (break-up of GT class due to Common Core). During 1st through 4th, they were in the stand-alone gifted classroom, but even then the teachers verified with me that I was okay with them being in the same classroom. In your case, I would lean towards demanding (politely but firmly) that your DS be transfered to his twin's class for the sake of his own emotional health as well as the family's peace and convenience.

I wonder if some finesse may be required in requesting the transfer in case there is any chance the school would decide to put both twins the less desired classroom.

I don't have twins but if I did have gifted twins, I would look at the whole thing not as a twin thing but rather as if my gifted child will have other gifted children to relate to. It's not easy for gifties to find friends on the same level so I'd much rather they had each other than have nobody.

I would be adamant about moving DS2 into DS1's classroom, because you basically have the results of a scientific study in your hands. Two nearly-identical children are in different environments, and yielding vastly different results. That's hard data. It's pretty easy to have success in advocacy when you're starting from such a strong position... unless you yield too easily.

You need to basically demand that DS2 is moved into DS1's classroom.

Keep pushing until they give you what you want.

Thanks folks. Appreciate the responses. We are meeting with the school tomorrow. We found a good reserach paper that studied identical twins in different classrooms, and the study noted that separating twins lead to increases in behavior issues and internalizing problems. Another study noted no academic achievement difference between separate or similar classrooms. My take is that there is no concrete evidence that twims should be separated, but there is evidence that separation can potentially lead to emotional issues. The choice should be one that the family has a lot (if not 100%) input on.

Biggest issue for us is that highly gifted twins always have an age/intellect peer if they are together, which is rare, even in gifted schools.

ITA with Dude and JonLaw.

The primary responsibility of the educators is to provide each student with access to an appropriate education. Insofar as one teacher is unable to reach your DS2, thereby inhibiting his access to an appropriate curriculum, the school has a duty to re-examine his educational needs independent of the (likely arbitrary) policies surrounding twin placement.

I would couch my arguments around DS2's educational needs not being met, then cite the twins studies as an addendum to show that the separation could, in fact, be exacerbating the existing academic mismatch between your DS2 and the teacher on a socio-emotional level.

Good luck! Dig in those heels!

I don't have twins, but there were identical twins in a class above mine from 5th-12th grade. I don't know if they were gifted, but they were always very good students. They were always in the same classroom (and fwiw, dressed in the same way), and I remember some issues along the lines of "my sister had an A-, I have an A, we need to have the same grade" etc. (this in a school abroad where failing was very common, and grade grubbing was unheard of, except in cases where an F meant repeating a class). Several years after graduation, I heard that they dropped out of medical school because they couldn't get a residency in the same hospital. And they started law school, to then have a similar issue with internship location (med and law school start right after highschool). I don't know if they ever finished anything. I also don't know if these girls had been better off in separate classrooms earlier in their lives - but I suspect so. Just a sample size of one to keep in mind that separating identical twins at any stage can lead to issues. Perhaps there are studies that follow identical twins beyond college?
All that said, clearly here fit with a teacher is a major problem, not necessarily the twin question - and as has been said above, they might threaten to put both in with the worse teacher if you focus too much on the "twins together" aspect.

That was my first thought too. It is the stupid sort of thing schools do. They could go on the theory that twin B is happy because he misses Twin A and Twin A is happy not because the teacher is a better fit bit because Twin A is more mature and Twin B has "social issues". Therefore putting both twins in Twin B's class should be fine.

Thanks folks. Had the meeting. No final word. School administrator was understanding and seems to really want to help. How to help and whether the move is logisitically feasible for them is what we still have to see.

How to help?? Sounds pretty simple to me...

Logistically feasible?? I assume both boys are self-propelled...

Sounds to me like they're attempting to weasel out.

DS had identical twins in his K class and no one could tell them apart. DS never knew which one he was talking to and probably addressed them as the wrong name 50 percent of the time. I can see how that can cause big identity issues in a child.
It sounds like it would be a good idea to put them together in this case--but make them look as different as possible. These twins had their hair and everything the same.

This year they are separated and DS has one of them in his class. Not sure if that was the parents' idea or the school's.

It makes me think you may not be the only one who would much prefer to have their child (or your case children) in the class with the superior teacher!