So everyone keeps telling me that my DD3 is physically gifted. (This can't possibly be inherited from her parents!). What this means is that she has extraordinary balance (can walk across a banister 4 feet off the ground) climbing ability and is able to seemingly do anything anyone teaches her. I really don't know what to do about this and where to go with this. Anyone have any experience with this kind of giftedness or have any ideas for resources?

Gymnastics.

Dance.

Martial arts.


Get her into 'intro' sessions with a studio/gym that trains more serious older kids, too, and let them see what she can do. My guess is that they'll pull her into groupings with more capable kids of mixed ages, even if she's the youngest one in the group.


Get her mentorship for this soon, though-- it's great that you're seeing it as a need.

Think about her genetics and her likely teen/adult physique before you sign her up for dance (or maybe gymnastics). (And I say this as a former competitive dancer who seriously considered turning pro.) There's no need to invite eating disorders into your home if she would be equally happy doing karate or fencing or archery. But if you expect her genetically to be wispy and thin, there's no reason not to sign her up for dance and see how she does.

Hockey!

I don't want to burst your bubble, because I might be way off and she may be very physically gifted. When my eldest was 3 she was an amazing climber, great balance, truly advanced in playground skills, i got comments from other parents all the time. I remember thinking how she didn't get that from us and how wonderful that she was so much more physically able than me... Imagine my confusion when at 7 I was told she had low tone, hyper mobility, poor (resting) posture, sensory processing issues, etc... I knew these things about myself but didn't see them in her. She's the best rock climber in her class, terrifies other parents with her tree climbing, has great balance - and is spectacularly poor at all ball sports. She's pretty good at scoring well in just dance as her timing is exceptional and her left/right integration is (now) quite good - but she looks awkward. There is something markedly different about how she dances and her friends. Actually my 3yr old has a better butt wiggle (her dancing is hilarious).

My understanding of my 11yr olds physical abilities is very different to when she was 3...

Anyway, none of that might be relevant to you, but sometimes things aren't quite how they seem.

She will definitely NOT be wispy and thin. She will be average to above average height, average build. I don't really see her being interested in something like ballet now. She likes big giant movements, big jumps, big walls to climb.

Thanks for your feedback. My take on all of this: I just want to meet her needs for right now. She is, quite literally, climbing the walls and seeking more and more challenging physical activities to satisfy her. (She is definitely intellectually gifted too...at this point she is on the same trajectory as her PG brother...but now I have a much greater sense of what to do with that.) I have absolutely NO desire to be a "stage mom" or to even think about competitive anything for her. She's 3. I'm just looking for an outlet for her for now.

my kid (5) is starting to become quite serious about dance. i have no idea why, or if it will last, but one of the things that i love about her studio is that the older girls have a variety of body types and there are numerous streams of interest, from recreational, to company, to competitive.

cross-stream friendships are very common, and best of all, aside from pointe, it is strictly ability-grouped so the classes can include a range of ages. it is the one and only place DD can hang out with her true peers and not give it a second thought. nobody looks at her like she doesn't belong - because she just does. her dance teachers have helped her come to terms with her difference in the most matter-of-fact, lovely way: she is simply placed in the class she's ready for.

clearly, dance provides an amazing physical outlet for her, but really it's the sense of belonging that it's given her for which i'm most grateful. these incredible environments do exist - take a good look around - but you'll know it when you see it!

She's 3, is that right? (I think someone above mentioned she's 3). If she's three, the GREAT news is that she's young, and if she *is* going to be athletically talented (and even if she isn't!), you've got lots of time to try out different sports and activities with her so she can find what she likes - plus - there will be a lot of different activities to choose from because lots and lots of 3 year olds (and preschool through early elementary kids) are active, exploring, climbing etc so there are usually more classes for younger kids in most sports *and* the classes at those early ages are usually set up so that there are beginning classes that children of any ability can fit into.

I have to agree though that with most kids, it's very difficult at three to predict where they will be re athletic talent when they are so very young - so I wouldn't worry about needing to get my child involved in dance or gymnastics etc simply because other people were telling me my child was physically gifted = the one exception to that I'd make might be if it was a gymnastics *coach* for example, who was telling me he'd never seen a 3 year old perform a cartwheel as flawlessly as my child who was endlessly performing cartwheels because she was so driven she just couldn't stop. What I would do, however, no matter *what* my child's ability or potential appeared to be (ie, physically gifted *or* a total klutz), is to try out different sports either through classes or with them, because even klutz's like myself enjoy and need to have physical activity as part of their lives.

To give some perspective re my own family's experience, none of my kids are genetically related to each other. One has coordination challenges in a big way. One is a bit of a klutz when it comes to the type of movement and coordination needed in dance but happily bulldozes her way through physically demanding sports that require high energy and stamina. My third child is and has always been obviously amazingly coordinated and flexible. When they were 3-6-7 years old, we did the same thing with all three - took them to different kinds of sports activities. They all tried soccer, gymnastics etc. They had different degrees of fun vs being totally unhappy with different sports - but none of it really correlated with where they are today, now that they are older, and now that it's obvious what their passions are. My child with the coordination problems has a sport he's really good at - no, not competitively good, but an individual sport that he enjoys. My dd who is not coordinated has the sports she is good at and loves (which don't require that dancing-type flexibility and coordination) *BUT* she also loves loves loves to dance and is part of a dance group and is accepted and enjoys it in spite of not being all that great at it. And my always-obviously-physically-adept child, at this point in time, I feel comfortable saying, yes, she's athletically gifted. She loves most all sports and excels at most anything physical she tries. The funny thing is, she has quite a few friends over the years who started in gymnastics at really early ages. Some of the "stage moms" I knew from gymnastics insisted that if you didn't start your child when they were little, they would never be competitive because they'd lose out on all those years of training and competition. I thought my dd would be really good at gymnastics because of her ability to flip and flex, but she tried gymnastics out (twice) with friends and it didn't click either time and she didn't look all that good lol when she was in gymn classes, so we never pursued it. Then all of a sudden when she turned 8, she decided she wanted to try a gymnastics camp - and guess what? She was still extremely flexible and coordinated but now she *wanted* to try it, and she's latched onto it, loves it, and has landed at pretty much exactly the same place (or farther along) than her friends who have been on gymnastics teams before they started school.

On another note, someone above mentioned their child was in a dance studio where all abilities and ages were welcomed - not all sports places are going to be like that *but* the good news about being young and able to try out different activities without pressure to achieve is that you'll have a good chance of finding a group like that, and they are worth their weight in gold - not just for not-so-talented athletes but even for really talented kids.

Last thought - whatever you have your dd try - have fun with it! It's such a fun age

Best wishes,

polarbear

My daughter is also 3. She sounds a lot like your daughter. We have her in ice skating and she really loves it. It's something that you can easily keep very recreational, or become more serious about if her interests go that direction. Something else to consider.

I started my daughter in tap & ballet classes at 2, which were a wonderful outlet for her energy, and gave her some great stimulation too. Gymnastics classes are also very appropriate for that age group, as are some martial arts. You might try a class for a few weeks and see how your daughter likes it. My daughter is nearly 8 now, and has just had me sign her up for her 6th year of dance lessons, so she's definitely getting something out of them! (PS daughter is PG or EG, and LOVES music, dance, singing, etc, but certainly isn't a "star" or the best in her classes, etc. Dancing and singing just make her happy! I think they teach striving, practicing, improving, all things that are important for academics in the long run.....

Polarbear, the only child I know whose gone well in competitive gymnastics started at 9-10 and was at a state level in 1-2 years, and moved on to another sport because her club couldn't really do more for/with her but other clubs would have required about twice as much time per week (which she clearly didn't need to spend to reach her level). Actual physical giftedness v. Quite good and working for hours a week over many years = she blew past her peers who had trained for years longer and for many more hours per week.

Yesterday in the lobby of a building, there was a set of metal "parallel bars" that were above her head when standing. She grabbed on, flung her legs over and put herself on top of the bars. She then stood on them and let go! AH! Scared me to death. (They were actually quite unparallel as they were railings on a ramp...one going up, one flat.)

I guess we will look for gymnastics for now. A mommy and me thing.

I'll also reiterate the advice to not look too far down the road with a toddler/preschooler like this. I was one of these kids, and my mom told some pretty hair-raising tales about my exploits.


Your story about the railings reminds me--

When I was not yet two, she looked out the kitchen window to find me 8-12 feet up one of our gnarled old fruit trees... terrified, she didn't RUSH outside for fear of "scaring me and causing me to fall" but by the time she gingerly came around the back of the house, I was "down from that tree and higher still in another one."

She put my crib railing down permanently and removed all the hanging decorations from my room before I was a year old-- after she discovered how my mobile was winding up IN the crib with me after every naptime... I was standing on the crib rail and pulling it down, evidently.

Anyway. Same thing.

I do still have great body awareness, balance, and flexibility. I also enjoyed tumbling and gymnastics-- a LOT. That one runs in the family, fwiw-- I have 6 cousins who were nationally ranked gymnasts in their teens. I never broke a bone as a kid, in spite of my daredevil ways-- though I did eventually sustain a back injury (disc) doing something stupid without a spotter. In my mid 40's now, I am paying for that one.

But I couldn't hit (or catch) a baseball to save my own life. I can't play tennis. I struggle even with volleyball, bowling and badminton. There's nothing wrong with my eyesight-- I just don't have the right neural wiring to process the inputs in real time.

I can golf, sail, and am pretty good at martial arts.

For what it's worth, today DD3 was doing her "routine" on the same metal bars in the lobby of a building that I previously mentioned. The building includes dance studios. One of the dance teachers was leaving for the day and stopped to watch DD and just chit chat. She was amazed at what she was doing and commented that she is incredibly strong and talented and that she needs to be in a class! (The closeted denier/cynic in me thought, "that's nice...the teacher just wants to make $ from another student in her class.) Whether or not that was her motive, it was interesting to get some completely unsolicited feedback.

I would suggest in a scenario like that, unless the teacher gave you a card for HER class, that the advice is well intentioned. Chances are that this particular teacher doesn't teach 3yr olds :-), it's a niche thing.

We had to work pretty hard to find a ballet class that would take my 2.5yr old (I caved after months of begging and hysterical tears every time her older sister went to HER ballet class). The place we found is actually really ideal for her in that they cater to 2-5yrs olds only, the teacher dresses up as "princess bows" (which keeps the smallest kids attention, the LOVE her) and she's really good at managing the children, all the children, from the terrified 2yr olds who don't want to be there are cry through the whole lesson, to the 5yr olds that can do everything and should be in proper classes. So my 2.5yr old was able to get instruction at her level (not much!) while not disrupting the class more than any other child by hanging upside down from the bar. She was the only one hanging upside down, but there were plenty of other kids doing other "wrong" stuff. A year in I have gotten over my horror that the class is taught by "princess bows" and I appreciate how much she manages a really emotionally, socially and physically diverse bunch of kids. My DD has made quite pronounced progress in that time too, in group participation AND ballet skills. She will be ready for pre-primary "real" ballet well before her older sister's teacher is usually willing to take kids and she will thrive when she transitions - but I SO don't think that my older daughter's wonderful RAD teacher would have been remotely the right person at 2.5yrs!

At 3, there are not too many options. Gymnastics is great at that age because it works on flexibility, balance, and strength which will benefit any sport in the future. At 4-6, soccer is good to introduce because it works on footwork and conditioning. I don't recommend any of the skill sports at those early ages unless there is one that you know really well yourself. Pitch and catch with anything is enough. 7 on up, just see what she likes. They are usually different seasons, so you can try a few in a years time. Around 10, she needs to be settled into 1-2 of them.