I can't believe the amount of money we are spending lately. Extra classes, enrichment, various educational materials. We are super lucky that we have an outstanding used bookstore near us. We pay no more than $.20 a book. But other than that, it all seems very expensive. Am I missing something here? Is there a much cheaper way to parent a PG child?

We do lots of outside stuff, fishing, beach combing, exploring the tundra, lots of library time, kindle....but we don't have any stores so anything I buy we have to order and ship in so that limits us. There are no classes or enrichment opportunities for that we could spend money on here, so I have to say that I guess that isn't a necessity for a pg child as dd is quite happy with the opportunities she has....(dissecting a ducks stomach that she got while hunting with dad or examining salmon hearts after fishing and comparing them to human hearts) I have found the best thing for a PG child is creativity, finding the experience in the everyday. Learn all about the local plants and there medicinal purposes (only takes a book on local flora and fauna from the library, an indepth study of the local environment, a few phone calls to different places (here we have done field trips one on one with fish processors, trawlers, and a coast gaurd cutter, and I am aiming for the water treatment plant next year and hooking dd up with a mentor from the local clinic.) all things that are free but great extras for a pg kid. Hope that helps.

Have the local public school do it's purported job?

HAHAHAaHAHAHA. I kill me.

Amazedmom, really you need to factor in the cost of your time. It's costing you whatever you'd be earning if you could ship your daughter off to a free school. But I do agree with you on finding interesting stuff around you.

What Tallulah said. All of it.

Meh. We are caught in a catch-22 with this stuff. If I work, we can afford more enrichment. But if I work, then DD needs that much more enrichment and there's no full-time parent to scaffold executive skills and hothouse the bald patches....

plus, there's no way that the local school could deal with DD's first exceptionality, never mind the second.

Ergo, here we are.

It's not perfect, and my DD would have a lot of things that she doesn't if we were more affluent, I suppose.

But finding cheap and low-cost things has become something of a game for me over the years. There is a LOT out there if you look.

Based on the opportunity cost of being a SAHM, I should probably have DS19mo's brain insured. I'm not kidding.

This tickled me.

LOL....I love the school doing it's job comment.

And you know, I hadn't really thought about the time factor, but yes, factor that in and we are down a ton

This is just what we were talking about as DD was begging for Shakespeare books and the library has mostly the plays kids read in high school in the fun forms--illustrated, manga, etc. so I've culled through and found the few on some comedies they have and I'm NOT buying all the others on amazon I've found until we see how good or bad the library books are. And I also want the Michael Clay Thompson Island curriculum for her :p It's tough! Hopefully she'll get a full college ride like her folks and make up for some I'd it if we had more moola I'd invest in a language tutor while she's this age, because she excelles at languages and I'm not at all fluent enough to teach her any besides English.

We're a one income family by choice, and we want to spend as much time with our children as we can, so we don't consider the opportunity cost of not working. Apart from that, the cost educating our children is essentially zero.

Different folks may define "expensive" in different ways, but I don't think that parenting a young child should be expensive. I think that most of the folks in this discussion (except HK) have young kids.

Almost all children cost you more once they reach middle school age. Those expenses can include academics, sports, music, etc. Maybe we should say no to some of the activities as it takes a toll on the bank account, but the kids benefit from the various activities in a number of ways.

Kids can be expensive, but I think you can find plenty of free or low cost resources for young kids. Online stuff, the library, local university programs open to the public, school subsidized summer programs, etc. - we have done all of these with our kids and they enjoyed them. You will need to search around a bit though, as the free or low cost programs don't have the marketing that the costly ones have. Good luck.

I don't think so... the cost of a computer/tablet + the internet... there are a million free things to do outside on top of that.

Well, I think PG is harder because you really may have to go way outside the box. I don't think parenting a GIFTED child has to be expensive, though it's nice to have resources. I'm glad we live somewhere with an excellent library, and I'm glad we live in a city with a lot of free or cheap cultural activities and resources. We have so far not gone the expensive private lessons route. I'm not saying it won't happen eventually, but there will be a limit by necessity. I do see some amazing summer camps in other states that I wish we had the money for.

{nodding}

Exactly. We've reshaped our family's interests/leisure activities to some extent to accommodate having a HG+ child.

We forgo some more normative (but $$) activities in order to save that cash for other purposes. We realized at some point that normative wasn't really on the table for her to start with, and that we were spending a lot of time, $$, and energy on window dressing.

St Margaret, you should be able to get e-copies of shakespeare for free. Try project Gutenberg, or just amazon.com. Kindle versions ofthe classics are a dollar or two each. I have a kindle app on my ipad.

http://www.amazon.com/Free-Shakespeare-Books-Kindle-Reads/lm/RBQBBYOT4B01N

http://www.amazon.com/SHAKESPEARE-Illustrated-Shakespeares-Shakespeare-ebook/dp/B004OEIELA

Our priority hasn't been on the books or other stuff for ds7 but on the therapies (water therapy and neurofeedback) or other medical expenses and food (a true superfood diet isn't cheap). A 2e expert advised me that 2e issues come first and to think of myself as a special needs parent rather than a PG mother.

I absolutely think you can accommodate a PG child on the cheap. Is it easy? No. But I do think you have to be creative and resourceful and think outside-the-box. I also really do believe that unstructured play is vital to these kids and is just important to their development than anything else. Heresy, I know.

I really don't believe you need to be a challenged cruise director here with activities. I'm not saying that there's value to some structured, adult-directed activities, but that there are limits within life, within a day, within a week, etc.

I just read the following books:
Madeline Levine's Teach Your Children Well
Peter Gray's Free to Learn
Kristine Barnett's The Spark - which involved educating a PG/STEM-prodigy on the cheap. Her book was quite refreshing for me. She believes in the importance of getting PG kids to just be a kid and play too and do some 'normal' stuff.

I've been writing on opensource.com about free resources (http://opensource.com/education/13/4/guide-open-source-education) - so you might find something there. I've got some livebinders (under name Wivenhoe) which may be useful. You can also search other livebinders according to grade, subject, etc.

My motto is to go with resources/activities that are free first. Then, I go as cheaply as possibly - less than $10+. After I've exhausted the free and nominal ways, I might consider shelling out the money. But I've often found that the first two options suffice.

Books - ebay, amazon, craigslist, freecycle are possible places for used books if you don't have a used bookstore locally. I live in a college town, so we have a town free book recycle day that has been wonderful. I also live near some homeschoolers who have offered free books.

There are certainly lots of things you can do to keep the cost down, but in general, yes raising an HG/PG child will be more expensive than a non-gifted child.
We love backyard science, so rock collecting along the creek, pond dipping at the same creek, raising caterpillars of native butterfly species, backyard astronomy (sidewalk chalk and a long sidewalk works great for illustrating relative distances of the planets), etc. have been nearly free activities.
Certainly a good local library can help save in book costs.
Thrift stores are another good place for books, craft supplies, and random cool items (steel drum [no mallets] for only $16!).

Costs that can be hard to avoid: testing fees (IQ, ACT/SAT), instruments/lessons (if your kiddo is musically inclined), if the public schools are not ideal - homeschooling or private schooling have their associated cost/opportunity costs.

Best of luck,
-S.F.

Maybe, but I know a number of parents of average children who pay for tutoring of them just to *keep up* with schoolwork, especially in math. Gifted students usually don't need tutoring to avoid getting bad grades.

Bostonian - I suppose I had not thought of those types of "average kid" costs.

Setting that aside, the only time I can see where my DD12 ended up "saving" me money was when she skipped a grade while attending her private elementary school. Of course, we were only at the private because our public school was doing more harm than good...

Now, I should note, I am happy to have spent what I have on my daughter, and I am ecstatic that my wife and I are in a position to afford what we have been able to. I am sure there are many parents squeezed between their HG/PG child (rock) and a tough financial situation (hard place).

-S.F.

I too am firmly in support of free time and unstructured play. However, if a child is in a totally inappropriate school then the only time available for actual learning is after school and weekends. School time almost has to be seen as their downtime.

Thanks to the Internet, I think that information has been made cheaper and more available than ever before.

Books are invaluable and the combination of a decent public library and the Internet means that information doesn't have to cost a fortune.

The Internet is a two edged sword, however, because it is also a bit like giving a medical dictionary to a hyperchondriac (sp?). I am sure that I worry about a ton of things that my DD is missing/complexes that she may be developing etc just because I have read about them on the Internet. The 'giftedverse' is full of hucksters and snake oil sellers...

Sadly I agree. School time is getting to be more for social skills than actual academic learning.

Thank you, Tallulah, but I have Shakespeare, I just want the cute graphic novel or picture book versions that DD especially enjoys. She really got into Midsummer last summer, but that's the only one well represented at the library. But I found some good stuff by searching a lot ( lots of collected stories that the library hasn't catalogued all that well!). I don't want to push too much... She's begging for Much Ado but as an English teacher it's easy for me to go overboard

book depository used to have some nice childrens Shakespeare that wasn't too expensive.

There are plenty of free resources on the internet that you can find to supplement your DD or DS's need for creativity and stimulation. You don't need whole books or anything else expensive. A library card is 1.00 and the books are free. Check out education.com for lots of activities you can do to teach your children all of the core subjects he or she would like at whatever level they are currently learning at all for free. 90% require just common household objects.

Never underestimate the power of Google.

I feel there is an important resource that often costs nothing that people tend to overlook....people in the field of your child's interest, mentors. I know that one adult outside of school made a huge difference in in our eldest DS's life, a gentleman who was working on his doctorate in Organic Chem. He not only took the time to discuss my son's interests in the field of chemistry but toured him around the Univ. lab., did some experiments with him, and inspired him.

Most of us know people who are professionals in a wide variety of fields. A good many of them are likely willing to spend at least an hour or two if not meet on a regular basis with a young person who shows interest in their field sharing not only their knowledge but the path they took to get to where they ended up. People are usually more inspiring than books and media and they provide real world examples of what our children aspire to become.

Gee, Minecraft beta only cost $15 a few years ago, and I'm sure our DS wouldn't care if that was all we ever let him do.

Seriously, though, there are ways to do things cheaply, but it's easier if there are public schools that cater to HG kids. Then the enrichment/etc. is no different than what most parents spend on afterschool activities/sports/camps. I think there is some amount of extra that comes up when you don't have the free decent school available to you, no matter how creative you are. And being creative finding some of the low cost/free alternatives sometimes takes its toll in the amount of time spent. So sometimes it's cheaper to just pay for stuff.

I should say that I had a serious book buying problem when DS was little. I love, love books, and I loved to buy them for DS. When he started tearing through books like candy, we made the switch to the public library. I think most libraries these days have partnerships with other library systems, so if your library doesn't have what you're looking for, you can order it from somewhere else. Very handy. And free.

Oh, SPG, I am with you there on the book buying issue. I had to establish rules in my head of what books were worth buying and what were library worthy - and then there is my extensive relationship with ILL!!! And don't forgt the magazines!!! And even with the attempts to put limits, DS 7's room is overrun with books - especially the murderous Maths, horrible sciences, horrible geographies and just started the histories. The only good thing is for the most part I guess right and you can see how much he enjoys them with the rereading!

When DS was in pre-k the school director said we were going to go broke trying to keep up with him. And considering they were really not serving him at the time, I was a little offended. But I now see it more clearly - with the insatiable appetite for learning we want to take advantage of all sorts of opportunities and often they cost - but hopefully without going broke!!!

DeHe

I just bought a pile of chapter books for DD from better world books (sale time!) because she's actually running out of appropriate books from the library. She had a big breakthrough with reading but still isn't quite ready for really involved longer reading between the lines type novels. Though she will read Shakespeare Anyway, between needing that sweet spot of not very easy but not full on upper elementary novels and almost only accepting girl-focused fantasy, we needed some more books for summer. She started a new 130pg book last night and came into our room at 6am declaring she'd finished it. I sometimes curse the library's cataloging because I'll find a great book that's not listed in a subject I've searched for, even though it fits. But mostly I'm happy to find anything good for DD!