I'm disgruntled with our school district, and can't tell how much is me being That Mom, and how much is them Doing It Wrong. I suspect that it's to some extent each of us being suspicious of the other.

If your child is DYS, how helpful have you found the Family Consultant in dealing with your school / improving the parent-school dynamic?

(If they're generally helpful in that area, it's probably worth IQ testing in hopes of qualifying DD for DYS. If not, then we'll continue with the "don't test unless results would change something" rule of thumb.)

Do you know what the categories are?

I am very grateful for all the Davidson program has to offer, and when we have had contact they have been helpful and kind. Plus there is this forum, which has been very helpful to me personally as a supporter of morale and as a source of some very helpful suggestions. However, I am afraid that DD's being a DYS has as far as I can tell not made a big difference (if any) in her educational opportunities. The nasty-piece-of-work teacher from last year succeeded in getting DD disinvited from continuing at that school anyway (which in hindsight seems to have been a particular project of hers), and the delightful cooperative teacher from this year does not seem to have been influenced by it and continues to be delightful and cooperative, and to accept our efforts to help DD fit in and achieve. Perhaps it will be helpful when we apply to a different school next year (when the current school ends). Regardless, I am grateful for the program and hope it continues to be helpful to others. Having said that, I absolutely agree with your rule of thumb. If you're having difficulty with your current school and think it might help, I would encourage you to get the testing. If nothing else, it might let you know how 'out there' your DD is. In the meantime, you can try to butter up the school and see if that helps any. It hasn't worked much for us because the people I can stand to butter up are the people who deserve it. But probably it would have worked out the same anyway.

Good luck!

eta: we haven't actually asked the Davidson people to speak to the school, just because when we mentioned it, it didn't seem like it would make a difference. YMMV

Heehee! That's exactly the problem I'm having. The very nice predecessor of the unhelpful person I'm dealing with now was so easy to butter.

I have no expectation of any help with classroom teachers. I don't know if it was here or elsewhere that I saw a comment to the effect of "a good teacher doesn't need you to tell them much about how to meet your kid's needs, and a bad teacher isn't capable of meeting those needs regardless of how much you tell them," but that has certainly been my experience, too.

Bleh, we're finding out how true this is, unfortunately.