My dd9 is not the most active person. She loves to read and would rather spend hours with a book than doing anything more physical. On top of that, she is not the most coordinated kid. For a while, she didn't really notice but now she is starting to become embarrassed because she can't keep up with other kids in gym class, etc. Team sports were a nightmare because the other kids weren't always nice about her lack of skills. The soccer coach's daughter actually threw a fit one time and insisted they were going to lose the game if dd played. It was heartbreaking.

We have a family rule that everyone must take part of some sort of physical activity, just to be healthy. She will gladly take walks with me, but she really needs more activity than that. She has tried dance, gymnastics, and soccer. She does love swimming, but once winter comes we won't have access to a pool anymore. We are considering martial arts, but she is worried that she won't be able to do it right.

Does anyone have suggestions of physical activities for the sensitive and less coordinated? What has worked for you? How about martial arts?

Thanks!

Are there no indoor pools in your area? My DD9 swims year-round at an indoor pool.

In terms of lifelong fitness, walking is one of the easiest to keep up with, and you can increase speed or do hills to increase the activity level. My DD won't walk with me very often, because it tires her out too fast. She also likes biking.

Mine is good at thinking about how to move her body, then moving it. When she swims, you can see the little gears clicking away in her brain. She generally dislikes gym class, because so many of the sports require hand-eye coordination and fast reflexes, rather than intentional and precise movements. I think she'd enjoy martial arts (at least some of them), but she's never tried any.

Hi happyreader

No real advice, just commiseration! DS6 is also not coordinated and apparently has some tone issues but basically he's like your DD he prefers what interests him and what he is good at. Last fall we did nothing after school, but soccer and swim on the weekends. We have made swim mandatory for safety and for the fun things we want to eventually do with him, like snorkeling. Soccer you could actually see him lose interest while running as he thought of something - funny, yet not!

So we are doing camp and he is being exposed to everything and so far - archery caught his fancy, I dont think it's that active but it might lead to a willingness to try other things? Also how about rock or wall climbing?

Hilarious part - this past weekend, DS refused to leave the house, we had a science weekend instead! But with 5 out of 7 I think we are still physically ahead of the game!

DeHe

What about horseback riding? Two of my kids did it for years, including my non-sporty kid. Besides teaching good posture that strenghtens back muscles, it also increasingly works the legs. Best, however, is that it just really focuses on an awareness of your body and your horse's body as you move, and both of these, in turn, stengthen your core.

IME you can find riding schools both in cities and in rural areas.

Of course, you also get the fun and relaxation of being with beautiful, amazing animals!

Hello. I am a lurker here and new to the forum.

I agree with the previous poster that horseback riding is a fantastic option.

I am surprised there are not any indoor pools near you where she could swim or the two of you could do water aerobics together.

Yoga is a surprisingly good workout and some kids enjoy the opportunity to get lost in their thoughts in a soothing environment.

Skating can also be a nice nonsporty activity.

Another option is that you could do a weekly active adventure throughout the winter... eg week 1 yoga, week 2 skating, week 3 find a trail for hiking... etc.

I was just like her - I hated team sports and wasn't confident or coordinated enough to shine at individual sports. I was a book worm too

I discovered running... it wasn't until high school, mind you - I don't know if I would have done it at your daughter's age. I love it though! It's solo (ideal for the sensitive introvert), requires zero coordination (pretty much, anyway), and you don't have to do it competitively to reap the fitness benefits. You can do it anywhere - at the school track, at the park, through city streets, or in your own back yard if it's large enough for laps.

Is there any way the two of you could run together? If you're not in running shape you'd have to start slow, but it's totally doable. Or if you have a yard big enough or a safe place she could be by herself she could run to music with an mp3 player - I love this - it's a great stress reliever.

Good luck (& have fun :-)

Oooo....horseback riding is a great idea!

I know tennis requires hand/eye coordination, but it is also non-contact and non-team (sometimes). You can also take lessons individually and go at your own pace. A lot of high schools have to search for kids to join their tennis teams since traditional team sports draw more athletes.

Thanks for starting this thread. I was debating starting one myself. My DD has tried dance, soccer, basketball, softball, rock climbing, ice skating and swimming. She is a great technical swimmer but she only has one speed -- slow! so swim team isn't an option. She can't ride a bike due to issues mostly in her head. She knows that I want her to be active and is a real trooper but she just can't keep up with the more athletic kids. I've heard that they are starting girls on the run at our school but it's only a rumor so far. Keep the suggestions coming:)

It is probably only an option if you live near a bigger city, but my D tried pretty much every sport you can name (not kidding) before finding fencing in her sophomore year of high school. It is fun, lots of smart kids there that she has gotten to know, and very low pressure (which is quite surprising, as her coach has ended up as one of the US Olmpic team coaches this year!). And there is the cool factor of "sword fighting".

Yoga class is another option. We have also done some trail running with our dog (more fun than other running, IMHO). I have also been toying myself with trying to go hiking in every state park in our state; that might make a great family project for a family with younger kids, although only for summer. But you could snowshoe or cross country ski in them during the winter if you get snow.

My 6-year-old son practices taekwon-do. He LOVES his classes and a child can move at their own pace, which is great. It's excellent discipline for him, too. (He's a very energetic kid, to put it mildly.)

He also plays tennis twice a week. I've asked him every season if he'd like to do a different sport, and he says he likes tennis and wants to keep playing. He started off with the Quick Start program, and is in beginner's level now. Same sort of thing as taekwon-do where it moves at the child's own pace.

Good luck!

Dance Dance Revolution and Wii Sports in addition to musical theater dance improved my son's coordination enough that he was able to beat his older sister at some games that required good coordination at a Dave and Buster's arcade.

That makes me think of Just Dance on the Wii. My DS5 and DD2 LOVE it. And my DH (who didn't even want to dance at our wedding) gets into it! We always end up panting and sweaty (probably me more than them) .

I feel for her...

I think there are two things worth aiming for, and you might well not find them in the same activity. It would be good to find her something that she really enjoys; and it would be good to find her something she can do enough, regularly enough, to maintain a high enough level of strength and cardiovascular fitness that, even if she isn't very skilled in the team games she does, she isn't panting and unable to apply what skill she has.

I think the second is the hard one. A decent level of fitness really takes quite a lot of activity to maintain (at least for some people - I have the impression that some people lose fitness with inactivity much faster than other people, and suspect that this is part of the difference between "sporty" and "unsporty" people, but the impression could be mistaken). You really need something that's going to elevate her heart rate significantly for several hours every week, I think. E.g. one class a week in something, however energetic, isn't going to cut it unless she's also practising significantly in between.

My DS, similarly, is fairly uncoordinated and prefers reading to sports. For him, the things he enjoys are fencing and archery, and what keeps him fit is (a) cycling to school (6 miles per day, Mon-Fri) and (b) going to a school that has at least an hour of compulsory sport every day (though this of course doesn't help him comparatively, as all his peers get this and many of them choose to do extra sport as well).

My oldest wasn't coordinated but found she loved climbing - and still does as an adult. My older son was much more athletic and tried out several sports, although he focused on climbing, tennis and baseball. The youngest has a fine motor coordination disorder and loves climbing, running and swimming.

We have the same rule - actively participate in one sport, one musical instrument and one stretch your comfort zone class.

What I found worked best was to allow my kids to try out different sports without feeling the pressure to continue. Most kids will try things one time, and by exploring a multitude of options, they often find something they like enough to try again. The goal for me was to just have them active - not get a sports scholarship, so I didn't really care how good they were - just that they enjoyed it enough to be intrinsically motivated.

My two oldest were very serious about climbing, and then the struggle was how much to support their drive and how much to worry about them getting too intense, but that's another story. The point is that if you let her find her passion, she'll start driving that boat instead of resisting even taking off from shore. Good luck!

I would encourage you NOT to make her do organized sports if she doesn't like them. I am not coordinated and at some point I really did not want to do team sports anymore. I would have been angry and humiliated had my parents forced me to continue. I agree that staying active is important, but there are many other ways to make this happen, as has been discussed here. Yoga class, swimming laps, regular hiking, biking to school, etc. Some people really don't enjoy organized sports. I agree that kids should try them out, but at a certain point I think they're allowed to say--hey, I tried them and I don't want to do it anymore.

Ultramarina- I totally agree. She knows I will support her when she does not want to continue with an activity (as long as she finishes out her commitment). We have had some very good, open discussions about it.

I really appreciate all the great suggestions shared here! Thank you to everyone who has responded. I am looking forward to investigating some of these and seeing if any of them interest my daughter.

To the many good suggestions you've already received, I can add only one: trampoline.

I agree with you, but some people who are bad at team sports such as football, baseball, and basketball may be ok at individual sports such as tennis and racquetball -- this is true for me. In tennis, the net separates you from your opponent, and (given the speed at which amateurs hit the ball) there is a little time to think. Basketball calls for instantaneous reactions in a sea of people who are jostling you. The two sports call on different mental abilities as well as different physical ones.

My general advice is to expose a child to a range of sports and also to accept, as you say, that some children won't be proficient at any competitive sport.

My dd started dog training thru 4h and has now moved on to agility. Lots of excercise and events. Even have scholarships for junior handlers.

Bicycling (on a tandem if balance is bad)? Hiking? Locally we have rock-climbing classes that are very supportive.

We found that after years of swimming and golf, independent sports, my DS is now more interested in team sports, because he is now fit and coordinated enough to keep up.

DeeDee

My son is actually pretty athletic but we started fencing lessons, which he loves. Supposedly fencing is very cerebral- it isn't just waving swords around.

I was going to suggest this very thing.

Agility is really good exercise if you have a dog which is pretty speedy. We have herders, and they LOVE agility. We have a few PVC jumps set up in our back yard all the time, and it is DD's responsibility to take our younger dog (not yet 1yr) for a LONG walk each morning first thing. This is defensive, and it must be done, or the dog will get into trouble all day long with that extra energy.

Even if you don't have a speedy sort of dog, ANY dog will require a lot of time and activity in training for 4-H.

I also agree wholeheartedly with ultramarina. I was not an athletic kid. In fact, I joke that I was not "non" athletic, but anti-athletic.

It was utterly humiliating to be told, even as a young adult, that "everyone" can _______ (play softball, play volleyball, bowl, golf, shoot hoops, etc).

Well, no. Not "everyone" can. Unless the point was to emphasize that some of us are a second-class sort of human being in this respect.

Some things that I have found that I enjoy doing for fitness:

swimming laps
pilates or aerobics (basically-- take a class, learn the moves/techniques, and then listen to music and do it on my own)
Tai Chi (which my equally non-athletic DD also enjoys)
ping-pong (trust me, the way some people play, this IS a workout)
ballet (again, take a class, conduct your own drill at home)
walking
cross-country skiing
snowshoeing
golf (it's self-paced and much more cerebral than most things)
sailing
canoeing.

My daughter has really enjoyed Akido, too-- and she is not a 'competitive' or 'confrontational' sort of kid at all, so I was surprised. We, too, had the kind of Dojo (and Sensei) mentioned earlier-- supportive and all about developing as students of the art, not about sparring and 'wins' necessarily.

Some of the comments in here have suggested that sports which require more thinking and less reacting are ideal, but in my experience, it's the opposite. I was the awkward child precisely because I spent too much time thinking about what I wanted my body to do, rather than trusting my body and letting it loose. It took playing sports where I didn't have time to think to snap me out of it. This isn't just something that helped me as a child, either. I took up roller skating at 25, and I was pretty awkward at it as most novices are, and I became a smooth skater by playing hockey, where I had too many other things to think about to worry about how to skate.

Gifted kids can be their own worst enemies in sports because they often think too much about how to move. Then they get labelled as non-athletic, and it becomes a destructive part of the self-identity. If they can get past that over-thinking, and with sufficient practice, there's a saying in sports where the game slows down for an athlete. That's shorthand for reaction times shortening, on the physical side due to muscle memory, and on the mental side due to pattern recognition and anticipation. That frees up a lot of brain power for advanced strategic thought... and it's at this point that the gifted kids start kicking the crap out of sometimes more physically-advanced counterparts.

We put our DS8 in every YMCA summer sports camp when he was younger, making him try everything at least once, and he hated all the team sports. But I think he may eventually come around to at least try team sports someday. (His parents both still play softball for fun.) Going to day camps and trying different things has also helped. He is much more willing to try. I think for him, he just doesn't want to try new things that he's not immediately good at, and that sort of thing gets harder when friends have been playing a sport for several years that he's just now willing to try. Oh well.

We have the same rule of doing at least one sport activity. DS chose fencing, and he really likes it. (Incidentally, one of the women from his fencing club will be going to the Olympics and she started fencing at age 9.) DS will also be starting golf lessons this summer (do a search - there are free lessons for kids in many areas).

I was about as nonathletic a child as it's possible to be, and I discovered in college that I had a real talent for ballroom dancing. I danced competitively for about fifteen years, and became New England and Eastern US amateur champion in my division (American smooth). It is definitely hard, hard work, but I found it to have a lot of the advantages of team sports, but with a much smaller "team."

The downside is that the ballroom world can be very image-conscious, and it's hard to succeed without the "right" kind of body at the top levels. But you can go a long way before you hit that ceiling, even if it applies.

Oh... dancing is fabulous exercise Your post reminded me of my short lived ballet phase (I took it as an adult, for fun). I enjoyed it and I can't recall now why I stopped - I think I got too busy. Anyway, I remember being amazed at how quickly I got toned. Dancing is not as easy as it looks, that's for sure - it's definitely exercise. It's the perfect combination of sport and art

Love all these great suggestions! Thank you!!

I was actually invited to leave a Salsa class due to my ineptitude at following basic commands without running into others and recently left a class after giving it another try. I wholeheartedly support the suggestions to let your kiddo find what inspires them, because there is nothing quite like knowing you're terrible at something and realizing others are enjoying the entertainment at your expense to make you decide that sports, exercise, etc. is not worth the emotional toll.

One of these days I'll figure out how to pay for private lessons and finally learn to dance.

I was put in dance since I was a klutzy lefty. I did colorgaurd/competetive dance in high school...i was fiiiiit. I loved competition and being part of a team. My nephew marches trumpet for a super competitive HS marching band. I helped the gaurd and loved seeing your typical awkward band kid become a fit and confident athlete. They do a three week band camp where they run a mile daily, do pilates and strength-building, in addition to learning their show. Some of the kids have never trained physically or been a pary of a team before.

Evemomma- I am very familiar with competitive marching band and color guard. I would love for dd to be involved with that in some way when the time comes. In fact, we are taking her to some drum corps shows this summer. Maybe she'll get the bug . . .

We are not big fans of organized sports, and (shockingly, ha ha) the kids don't seem to enjoy them either.

We do yoga, horseback riding, ice skating, golf, and dance.

I occasionally play tennis but get annoyed with the woman drama of neighborhood teams.

The kids have tried soccer and tennis and didn't enjoy either one, but the older one loves ice skating and takes lessons 2x a week, and the younger one likes dancing and has two classes.

For us, it's not about the competition or being excellent, it's just about getting your body moving and "having a sport" as we call it. Gotta have a sport!

My older one is taking fencing lessons, and he really likes it. Apparently fencing is not sword-fighting, like Errol Flynn. It's fairly cerebral and an individual sport.
We go to a local fencing academy, where the teachers are very nice and low-key. I think it could be a long-term love for my son. The older kids who are fencing come in all shapes and sizes- tall, small, overweight, skinny. With so many sports, you need to be a big kid, but I guess at least at this level, you don't need to for fencing.

LOVE Drum Corps! My sister marched Blue Coats in the 90's..we went to DCI finals last
year in Indy. Getting your DD involved in dance now (if she has interest in gaurd) will
help her greatly. Equipment work can be learned...grace takes longer. I am going to Memphis in 2 weeks to do choreo with my sister's gaurd. I can't wait!

DD is very small (8.75 yo and 49inches) and I think uncoordinated. Team sports are not good for her.
So far she has taken to - martial arts (she really loves it and chooses this over dance), skiing/snowboarding (wow, this is a true passion for her and we are thrilled), she's trying archery soon, and running 5ks (it's fun for her and relatively easy, she just enters races, practicing only once on the treadmill before the race).

My most sensitive child is the one who loves animals the most. I think he bonds with them like friends because he makes so few. I would suggest if you do not have a dog yourself maybe she walk someone's dog if your reason for activity is not to socialize her. My son is very excited to sign up for the volunteer class at our local shelter so that he can start walking dogs there. This is a great ways to stay moving but he's so excited to just be near the animals. Hiking is also something he enjoys, again for the peace and the time to think.

My son was in a similar situation. I put him in Martial Arts, of all things, and he excelled at it. You have to shop around to find a good instructor, since many of them just take your money and hand out belts. But if you can find one who takes the time to teach, it's been wonderful for my son. You can progress at your own pace (if you don't get that belt this time, you can always do it next time), there are constant small goals to reach, and they lead to a bigger goal (black belt!) It also teaches discipline and a good work ethic, which are often difficult to learn for a child who breezes through school with little effort. It's also not direct competition between one kid and another - which helped a lot until he started to get the hang of it. Once he did, I allowed him to start going to tournaments. He now has several shelves full of trophies and medals, and recently told me that he is planning on becoming state champion for his age division.
It's not for everyone, of course, but it has worked very well for him - and there are also several other kids in his class who I suspect are gifted as well. So the added bonus is making friends with "smart" kids of various ages - so he doesn't feel like a misfit.

During our follow up with the testing psychologist sports came up and the psychologist recommended we not put our son in team sports unless he asked to participate. I thought that was odd but he said most gifted kids don't like team sports. He suggested tennis (only because he was familiar with a local program)

Our kiddo's psychologist said the same thing based on his profile/personality. But even though it's probably true for lots of gifties, I think it's really a kid-by-kid and personality thing re: team sports. My husband and I both love team sports, although we leaned toward the more individual tasks on the teams (DH was a hockey goalie and I was a fast-pitch softball pitcher).

As with all generalizations, this one will have exceptions. My DD7 loves playing soccer, and I enjoyed playing football. DD would seem to fit your "individual tasks" mold, as she has expressed an interest in playing goalie (though it's not available at her age level). But the most individual position on a football field (QB) is the only one I never played with any regularity, organized or otherwise.

Personally, I think extro/introversion has more to do with it than giftedness, because being a teammate is a social experience. DW is very athletic and enjoys sports, but never plays team sports. She's also the only introvert in the family.

Some gifted kids may be extroverts but experience social difficulties for one reason or another, and that can be a turn-off for team sports. On the other end of the spectrum, there are those who seem to fit in everywhere.

I agree. I think that is why I thought it was odd that he said that. We have many gifted people in our family that have enjoyed team sports.

This is something my son is going to do. Something like this might be available in other cities.

http://www.seattlemarathon.org/kids/eventinfo.php

[quote=KJPThis is something my son is going to do. Something like this might be available in other cities.

http://www.seattlemarathon.org/kids/eventinfo.php[/quote]

The kids marathon sounds really fun. DS might like it, though his parents don't run.

Thought of something else. Even though DS has tended to prefer the individual sports so far, he was recently at camp and they played dodgeball, and he loved it. So, I will take all generalizations about GT kids and individual sports with a grain of salt, ha ha.

I think it's also odd to assume that the way a child is now is the way he's always going to be. DS9 hated team sports at age 5, but now rather likes them. Grew into it. I think there ought to be room for that.

DeeDee

Joined yoga classes last month and found great to sooth stress, increase body flexibility and to reduce extra weight. Yoga helps in breathing better, increase strength and improve mood. Yoga reduce cholesterol level, lower high blood pressure and prevent us major health disease.

DD has always been poised and body aware but NOT sporty. She loves dance and yoga and want to try gymnastics. She wants activities she can imagine a story with, or really just have fun in her body. We found a sweet, really good dance teacher that suits her.

DS is two and is very good at a bunch if sports and knows all about them and in doomed to taking him to lots of practices and games, I know. DD thank goodness will do yoga and have performances to attend

Yoga! There is no wrong way to practice.

My oldest (almost 12) is not very coordinated and not at all interested in sports, especially anything that has to do with a ball. But because he's unusually tall (5'8") people are always asking if he plays basketball. In the past year, though, he's very much taken to swimming (he does a pre-swim team at our local YMCA that doesn't require any meets) and track/cross country. My kids participated in a local track team that was super fun and supportive of ALL kids, whether they were coming in first or last. It was a really amazing experience for all of us.

DS6 has only just started getting into a variety of sports, but he has been playing basketball for over two years- and it took him that long to play well! I tried to encourage him to play one sport in which he is a natural, but he wanted to perfect b-ball.

Other than that, he enjoys golf and tennis. Golf involves lots of walking, as well as the obvious swinging, and one-on-one tennis (with no audience) is good for learners. We don't take sports seriously, and we encourage sport for exercise rather than for competitive reasons.

He also occasionally jumps on the trampoline. We play games, such as me throwing a soft ball in that he has to hit out with certain body parts (head is 50 points, elbow is 20 points, etc). It's fun for both of us lol.

DS7 switched out of gymnastics a few months ago where he had pretty much hit a motivational and skill plateau to karate which has really engaged him. I think the kata sequences and defined progressions are highly appealing to his math/system oriented way of thinking. The other thing having a master of the art train the class rather than a random high school gymnast may be a key (also appealing to me that it is cheaper with higher quality instruction.)

A few other options our kids have been involved in:

Paintball
Ultimate Frisbee
Frisbee Golf
Archaeology / Rock Collection / Metal Detecting (hikes, combine learning, fun, & exercise)
Sand Volleyball

Other activities that aren't big workouts but get them a start:
Archery / Rifle
Bowling

The saving grace for my eldest was weight lifting / body shaping. He got tired of being on teams that didn't know how to be a team and decided such "teams" were pointless, so he started going to the gym with me. Now it's his stress release and the one thing he can completely control in his life (pretty important consideration in youth) The side benefit is that it's his form of self expression, he feels no need to modify his body or dress in an unusual manner to make a statement. (Not that there is anything wrong with doing so, however, I prefer he wait until an older age to make such decisions)

I would also add foraging to the list - there are just tons of cool things to see in the woods. In NJ right now the chanterelles have been popping for the past fortnight. DW and I took the DD to the woods to gather some and we also checked out a Southern Leopard Frog and found the skull of a young spike buck (an NJ eleven pointer - LOL) which we also brought home.

Horse back riding really helped train me, the non-sporty, for driving a car, more so than bicycling... actually a lot in common in terms of practice with coordinating hands and feet and thinking ahead. And fun so one doesn't realize it's exercise.

Not sure what age kids typically start, I'll toss out rowing as a possibility for a competitive group sport down the road. I never did well with team sports, never quick enough or fast enough or enough stamina to run around for an entire game of anything. But then in college I did rowing. Unless you are the front rower in the boat you don't need any particular skills in order to be a beginning rower ... just follow the leader, pull on the oars and enjoy the feeling of going superfast through the water. So one can feel some success without much instruction. Races are mercifully short. Spotty geographically where it's available. I loved having the feeling of being part of a team.