Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy mountain or molehill

I also think it is a mole hill it is just that I see myself and DS9. That innate ability to cut to the quick and "see" the true weakness of someone. It is a skill in itself. It is just in how it is used. I used to be quite defensive and would nail anyone before they hurt me. Now I use that sense to try to hilp instead. He will learn and develop w/ guidance.

JJsMom
The comments about bullying are so helpful but it so weird to have to think about being appropriate in response meanness - what is acceptable when standing up for oneself, but of course that is an important social component.

So interesting you said he was sarcastic or dry - I would not have characterized him that way because he is sunny and silly with a wild imagination but yeah, inside there is wit and some slyness - almost like an adult peeking through the 5!

And of course, all this brings to mind, one's own behavior. A friend a long time ago told me her daughter's behavior was often like a mirror showing her things she didn't want to see about herself!

DeHe

As one of those people, I agree.


I'd also add, though, that this can be a hallmark of an Aspie, too-- that unerring ability to just "see" things that others would rather nobody noticed. Socially, most people are good at ignoring those elephants in the room... but Aspies frequently feel particularly compelled to call them out when they are unsure just WHAT to say, but are feeling uncomfortable/pressured to say "something." At least that is how it seems to me (I know several Aspies very well-- ages range from four to fifty years old).

It can sure seem like a deliberate, calculated way to cut someone down to size when observed-- but I'm not sure that it always is that way for Aspies.

Inability to empathize automatically; that really jumps out there for me, too.

Does he seem to understand perfectly well that these statements are horribly cruel or even emotionally shattering to other children? If not, I'd keep Asperger's in the back of my mind.

If so, then that's a very different problem, and yes, I would most certainly address it. It is NOT okay to be verbally abusive just because you want to end an interaction with another person. KWIM? It may be somewhat age-appropriate to lack empathy at this age, but with great gifts (the ability to cut others down like this) comes great responsibility.