Hi there,
I am reposting something I wrote several months ago about steps to advocacy on a different thread - it may not exactly cover your questions, but hopefully it will give you some ideas (I'm at work and can't reply with more right now).
Cat
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"So glad you have found us.
When I got overwhelmed, at the beginning of last year (thank goodness for this site), I jotted down some notes to myself about how to break down what I needed to do. I actually think as a board we could write a "steps to take when you start to advocate for your gifted kid" info sheet. I am not sure these are in any correct order, many you would do many steps at the same time, but hopefully they will give you some direction and help.
As Momma Bear pointed out, my step 1 is to find out what you are entitled to. Are you in a state with a mandate, does that mandate have any teeth (I'm in a state with a mandate but no funding, so unless I am willing to sue, which I most likely would not be willing to do, I'm stuck). What are your state and district policies on gifted education - you can usually find these online. What policies (written and unwritten) does the school have? What is great about this step is it gives you something concrete to do - good for those of us who need to take action to feel effective.
Step 2 is to think about whether there is testing or retesting that will help with the advocacy effort. Sometimes it is something the district should do, or you have IQ test results but the school wants achievement. For example, as Onthegomom states, maybe it would be worth it to test your son next spring on WISC now that he is older and more likely to stay engaged for the entire test. Maybe he will hit DYS levels and you can get some help that way. However, if your child is in the 99th % he is gifted by any definition. The tests you did may not matter to the school, but they should give you the confidence to know that what you are asking for is not irrational and that he needs more to have an adequate education.
Step 3, in my opinion, is to build relationships within the school and district. Talk to people, find out who the decision makers are, find out what the district/school has done in the past. Get to know some parents of special education children if you don't already, and learn about advocacy from them. If someone says the school has "never" done something, keep it in mind, but don't believe it is an absolute bar. Believe, even though it is difficult , that until proven otherwise, the school wants to help your child, but that there are barriers in the way of the school/princiapl too. There are many many stories on this board where something once deemed impossible became possible. Read them and try to stay positive (maybe that is step 3(b)?)
Step 4 - decide, based on 1-3 above, what you want to ask for. Consider everything from full skips, to subject acceleration, to pull-outs, online learning, even differentiation. Grinity says, and I agree, that if you are pretty sure about what the right answer is, ask for twice as much as you want, or at minimum, what you really think you should get - don't water it down. Be explicit. Be realistic. If you are less sure, you may want to take it in steps. Your first request might be simply for them to test your son on the 2nd and 3rd grade math and LA curriculum.
If you are backed by state or district law or policy, say so. You can ask for it informally the first time, but expect for them to ignore your request or drag their feet. Be willing to spend some time on the informal process, because you may maintain good will if you can work it out that way. However, don't let it drag on. Ten business days is sufficient time for a response - if you don't hear back within that amount of time, be ready to send a formal letter stating what you want and why you are entitled to it to the principal. If that formal letter doesn't do it, send a second letter with copies to the appropriate higher ups (the super. or even board of ed. members in some cases, in some districts it might just be a curriculum supervisor). At that point, I would likely send each copy certified, and if you are protected by state or district policies, cite the provisions, explain why they apply to you, explain what you want and why you are entitled to it. Once again, parents of special needs kids have to do this sort of thing all the time (although in some cases the process is more clear).
Step 5 - consider other options. Homeschool, private school, etc. In my case, I felt fairly certain that the district really did care about my child, they just needed way more convincing than I thought was reasonable. However, I def. started learning more about homeschooling while I was advocating, and started doing a bit of research on private schools. Since private schools would have required me to go back to work full time, they were a very unlikely long term option, but we did consider them as a way to have DS skip a year or two if we decided that was the best option and the public school wouldn't do it.
Step 6- take care of yourself and give yourself time. For most of us, grade skips and/or subject acceleration was a year-long or multi-year process. It is also a work in progress. Do as Daytripper suggests, get support from a partner, spouse, friend or here.
Good luck,
Cat"
