Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy what is wrong with staying in same grade even.....

Why do you assume that WE are pushing THEM? The pushing is getting the school to let the kid learn something besides how to coast. The pushing is the kid coming home crying from boredom because everything in class is stuff he learned when he was three, wanting something new to learn. I haven't seen anyone in these forums who is doing anything but being pulled by their children.

Leave the mindless tedium jobs for the kids who don't want to learn and do new things. Our kids will never settle for that.

...because mine isn't being pushed pushed pushed. It's the right level of work that is interesting and fun for him. I wouldn't want to be stuck for 6 hours a day reading the same book over and over and over, and being stuck doing busywork when you've already mastered all of the material can feel just like that.

I do sympathize if anyone truly feels like they lead a boring life as adults. The world is filled with exciting challenges if you seek them out. Even if you have to work in a monotonous job, find a hobby, study a language, or read a book! Nobody makes us take a robotic path, and that is why IMO we shouldn't make our children take one, either.

Maybe it's what the kid wanted to do and what the parents thought was best as well. Maybe some kids like talking about things that older kids are learning about. Then where would they fit in better? In a classroom of students with common interests and talent, or in a classroom based on their Chinese Zodiac sign?
There is the quiestion of what to do when they graduate but are still too young to work. Travel? Video games? Can't drive to the mall. Oh well, everyone's life is complicated. That's life.

I think the case of a college or even HS graduate being too young to work would be very unusual. Even a 12 year old could make stuff and sell it on ebay. Or teach siblings. Or mow lawns. Or be a mother's helper. It might not be stimulating, but that brings me back to the point I tried to make earlier in the thread - there's a big difference between being forced to do work that is pointless and boring when you are supposed to be receiving a service, and doing something boring but valued by someone else.

Yeah Jane, I really liked that point you made about the school system being hired to be there to provide a service to us. I even clipped it and texted my husband at work yesterday.

There is a saying, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results." I'd say for a gifted, self-motivated child, the defintion of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, already knowing the results will never change.

I have dual careers, farming(raising cattle specifically) and software engineer with database design. Farming is the least boring because there is so much to learn about genetics. In computers, if you're good, you tend to get pigeon-holed into one job where you become the guru. Being a guru helps other people learn, but at a certain level of knowledge I have to branch out into another area or I'll go insane. So, I know several programming languages on multiple platforms, supporting multiple applications for multiple systems.
In school, I was a genuine pain in the neck. I had to accept I would be doing the same thing everyone else did, but I added my own touch. That didn't go over well for many teachers!

I would have had to have been radically accelerated in school if I was placed accurately. Maybe that path would have led to me studying cattle genetics in a lab instead of in the field. Or maybe someday I'll combine my computer skills with the data available from our breed association and find what combination of genetics has the highest chance of producing certain characteristics.

The bottom line is you have to make the best decision you can for your own child. There are no guarantees how any decision will turn out. But the most important thing is for the child to know you truly love them.

...One of many...My DS10, with tears streaming down his face, "My brain is a wilting flower" ... As a parent, how can you NOT do something?

When we told our DS that he might be able to skip first grade, he thought it was a great idea from the get-go. Now that he's in 2nd at age 6, he fits in perfectly, but is still a bit underchallenged. In fact, he occasionally tells us he thinks he'll skip 3rd grade too...

I don't want my DS6 to never to learn from failure --perseverance -- if he doesn't know immediately how to do something. Most other kids get the opportunity to learn that. We have not pushed our DS; we have tried to find the right fit for him so he can learn at his readiness level. We would love for our DS to learn alongside agemates who are at his intellectual level, but that will not happen unless we move, and may not happen even if we do move. So, for us, for now, acceleration is the best we can do for our DS.

LOL our boys are about the same age. Mine is skipped into 3rd at 7. He often says very flippantly "Well 2nd grade was harder but 3rd is super easy, let's check out 4th!" As if it were really that easy for us to get him into 2nd in the first place last year!

Funny! I think a smorgasbord approach to school would be awesome! Oh wait - they had this once, back in the day of the one-room school house.