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h
Last edited by master of none; 12/27/13 11:35 AM.
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Oh no mon!
Can you email the teacher and the principal and tell her what dd told you?
It sounds like after last year you feel like you have Advocated as hard as you could - but do you want to recap what happened and see if we can't think of something to try next?
Love and More Love,
Grinity
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That's so sad, MON! I definitely would e-mail the teacher about this. She clearly has a very high EQ, in addition to all her other abilities, but it's such a shame that she's having to use it to not just fit in socially but academically as well.
Am I remembering your previous posts correctly that her school just has no interest in acceleration at all? Do you have other schooling options you're considering, or do you feel like she needs to remain in this school?
She thought she could, so she did.
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Good for her! Did she tell the teacher about what happened and therefore got the chance to improve her answers, or did everyone get a chance to fix things? Either way, yay that the teacher will get to see what she can really do!
She thought she could, so she did.
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Good news! She had a chance to go back and complete the test and she took the opportunity to "improve" her answers. Yippee! That's wonderful!
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I just hope the teacher takes this on board, sees and argues for what your child requires, and the school is receptive and sensitive to your child's needs.
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On another note, the social studies teacher- who didn't have a say, but was against the idea of skipping since the 5th graders are so much more mature, has assigned dd a report on genital mutilation. DD said they did not get to choose, but instead had them assigned. And she said she would rather have had a report on the oil spill or flooding or the cholera outbreak. While I'm tempted to complain, I think I'll just support dd to understand the issue fully so she can write a decent report. Seriously, is it even an appropriate topic for any fifth grader? NO! If my dd was 5th grade age, we might talk about it at home, but not for a report at school.
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Seriously, is it even an appropriate topic for any fifth grader? Not for 10 year old DS for sure- glad HE didn't get the topic (he got rainforest). I would say that isn't an approriate topic until high school !!
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That is awful!!! I would hate to think that teacher can be so calculating but I have to wonder. It really puts you in a tough spot. If you complain about the topic choice than you are 'proving' the teacher right. Grrrrr. I really feel for you. I have to play the 'If I was in your shoes game' and I fully agree with you. You really can't complain, but I would hold on to the topic and get ready for the next round. If the teacher continues in this pattern I would definitely talk to the principal.
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On another note, the social studies teacher- who didn't have a say, but was against the idea of skipping since the 5th graders are so much more mature, has assigned dd a report on genital mutilation. DD said they did not get to choose, but instead had them assigned. And she said she would rather have had a report on the oil spill or flooding or the cholera outbreak. While I'm tempted to complain, I think I'll just support dd to understand the issue fully so she can write a decent report. MoN, once again you impress me. I'd be hard-pressed to see past being upset about the topic but you know your DD well and have found a way to make this into a bigger learning opportunity for her. I agree with PPs that this is REALLY not an appropriate topic to assign to 5th graders. I hope that this is not the sign of more to come from this teacher. Best of luck!
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I have a 10 year old fifth grade girl and would have a hard time not complaining. DD is just entering puberty and is in that awkward stage where she is very shy about the changes in her own body. I think that for an empathetic kid like her, a report on genital mutilation would be traumatizing. I have to ask -- are other girls covering this topic or did she get singled out?
Last edited by knute974; 10/25/10 08:36 AM. Reason: added question
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Is this a male teacher? I'm a snot, but in her spot I'd be tempted to write a paper on circumcision (calling it male genital mutilation it often is by groups who oppose male circumcision) recognizing that a male teacher of that age is likely to be circumcized and I'd be making him uncomfortable, too.
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That is completely batshit crazy.
Please don't let her do this. Talk to the administration - I would skip the teacher entirely. This is a fiasco. I bet they will bend over backwards to accomodate your daughter after this.
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Please don't let her do this. Talk to the administration - I would skip the teacher entirely. This is a fiasco. I bet they will bend over backwards to accomodate your daughter after this. I'm with Jane on this one. I do like your overall approach, and overall it's working well - Yippee! There are bound to be little snags that require addtional flexibility in this sort of thing. I'd calmly but firmly write an email and cc the principal to the effect of - "I request an alternative topic for my daughter, as in our home we don't consider genital mutilation an appropriate topic for 5th graders. Let's make a time to sit down afterschool with DD and give her the new topic afterclass so she won't have to deal with the embarassment of recieving a new subject in front of her classmates. When would be convient for you? Thanks in advance for your understanding." If there is a male parent who is willing and able, an alternative is to have the males sit down to discuss a new assignment 'rationally.' My prediction is that because you are ccing the principle, that the school will recognize this as hazing and bend over backwards to be accomidating in future. Maybe bend over isn't exactly the correct phrase to use here, but... Best Wishes grinity
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Agreed. I don't think that I encountered assignments like that until later in high school/college, and I would not be surprised if DC15 had a hard time writing something like that for a class. This also seems like something a male teacher upset with the administration's decision would do to get even or set a student up for failure. I would definitely bring it up to the administration if she is assigned another inappropriate for an fifth grader assignment from this teacher. Perhaps she isn't the only girl being assigned something this inappropriate by that teacher.
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Absolutely inappropriate for 5th graders. I'd email the teacher with the principal cc:ed as suggested above. However, if you know that your DD won't be bothered by this, maybe not a concern.
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I have a 10 year old fifth grade girl and would have a hard time not complaining. DD is just entering puberty and is in that awkward stage where she is very shy about the changes in her own body. I think that for an empathetic kid like her, a report on genital mutilation would be traumatizing. I have to ask -- are other girls covering this topic or did she get singled out? I totally agree! I think they just barely start covering sex ed type topics at this age. I cannot see that mutilation is at all appropriate for ANY 5th grader. If this is not a topic that can be easily shared verbally in a report to the rest of the class, I don't think it makes an appropriate research topic for that age group.
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I'm with the others: I think this topic is best left until high school. Female genital mutilation is related to sexuality, and fifth graders (even gifted ones) can't be expected to understand sexuality or the ramifications of this practice.
FWIW, I don't think my ten-year-old would know how to process this idea, and it could be mildly traumatic for him. Kids have to be able to process disturbing ideas so that they can come to terms with them. I realize that it's impossible to avoid exposing them to disturbing ideas they don't understand, but that doesn't mean a teacher should go out of her way to throw something fitting this definition at a child.
As far as I'm aware, serious sex ed doesn't begin until 7th or 8th grade. It seems reasonable that any school-led discussion of genital mutilation should occur after that. I mean, you don't tell kids about practices related to sexuality BEFORE they really even know what sex is, right?
Again FWIW, I'd write to the principal about this one and skip the teacher.
Val
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As far as I'm aware, serious sex ed doesn't begin until 7th or 8th grade. It seems reasonable that any school-led discussion of genital mutilation should occur after that. I mean, you don't tell kids about practices related to sexuality BEFORE they really even know what sex is, right? Sex ed does take place in 5th grade here, I understand. Having had dd12 skip that grade, I have no first hand knowledge of what it consists of. However, I do have to say that I found the sex ed in 7th grade to be wildly age inappropriate even for kids who weren't as young as dd. I wound up opting her out of part of it. She did watch the video of a birth, etc. but we skipped the contraception parts b/c they were discussing anal sex and how neither it nor oral sex were considered safe. I didn't need a kid of that age learning about things like that. I also didn't like the fact that they had a Christian anti-abortion group doing a presentation during the contraception piece. I wasn't sure how unbiased that would be.
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...but we skipped the contraception parts b/c they were discussing anal sex and how neither it nor oral sex were considered safe. I didn't need a kid of that age learning about things like that. I also didn't like the fact that they had a Christian anti-abortion group doing a presentation during the contraception piece. I wasn't sure how unbiased that would be. !!!!!! Unbelievable. And on so many levels. Agog, Val
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However, I do have to say that I found the sex ed in 7th grade to be wildly age inappropriate even for kids who weren't as young as dd. I wound up opting her out of part of it. She did watch the video of a birth, etc. but we skipped the contraception parts b/c they were discussing anal sex and how neither it nor oral sex were considered safe. I didn't need a kid of that age learning about things like that. I also didn't like the fact that they had a Christian anti-abortion group doing a presentation during the contraception piece. I wasn't sure how unbiased that would be. I'd certainly have wanted to excuse my child from the Christian anti-abortionists! But re non-safety of anal and oral sex for 7th graders (12ish, right?), I have to say that I think leaving it any later than that would be unwise; AIUI (and this is anecdote, not data) the group most likely to have those kinds of sex in the belief that they're safe is young teen experimenters.
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My son did get 'a talk' in 4th grade about 'how the body changes' and the need for deoderant. They all came home with deoderant samples, which promptly led to a rash.
It did not involve talk about 'what goes where.'
It's interesting to me that schools are so passionate on this issue of education, and yet so disinterested in educating the intellectual minds of 5% of the students.
I don't actually object to 'what is safe and what isn't' talks, but it does seem ironic to me. Now I'm imagining a school movie to play about 'here's Billy. Look how terrible he looks, lying on his bed in his college dorm when he should be studying. Too Bad he didn't know about the dangers of Underachievement back in 5th grade when he should have been developing Work Ethic, but he thought it was cool to daydream about video games while he should have been learning how to learn.The teachers used to say: We never worry about Billy, he already knows what we are teaching this year. Everyone should know about Underachievement, and the terrible price we all pay for it.'
Love and More Love
Grinity
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However, I do have to say that I found the sex ed in 7th grade to be wildly age inappropriate even for kids who weren't as young as dd. I wound up opting her out of part of it. She did watch the video of a birth, etc. but we skipped the contraception parts b/c they were discussing anal sex and how neither it nor oral sex were considered safe. I didn't need a kid of that age learning about things like that. I also didn't like the fact that they had a Christian anti-abortion group doing a presentation during the contraception piece. I wasn't sure how unbiased that would be. I'd certainly have wanted to excuse my child from the Christian anti-abortionists! But re non-safety of anal and oral sex for 7th graders (12ish, right?), I have to say that I think leaving it any later than that would be unwise; AIUI (and this is anecdote, not data) the group most likely to have those kinds of sex in the belief that they're safe is young teen experimenters. Mine had just turned 11 when this talk happened but, yes, I imagine that the majority of the kids were 12. Hopefully I am not burying my head in the sand, but I don't think dd is at the point yet where she is considering sexual experimentation and I'd rather have that talk with her myself than have her learn about it from a male health teacher in a co-ed setting, as they did at school.
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Cricket, don't wait too long to have that talk! Not that this applies to your child, when my niece attended 7th grade sex ed in Ft. Collins, she observed that the vast majority of kids who were experimenting with sex were also the kids whose parents opted them out of sex ed.
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On the subject - does anyone have any good book recommendations for "the talk" for ds7 ? He hasn't asked any questions yet, other than asking what condoms were for when watching an episode of Supernanny (!) the other night. Sorry to hijack the thread.
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My son did get 'a talk' in 4th grade about 'how the body changes' and the need for deoderant. They all came home with deoderant samples, which promptly led to a rash.
It did not involve talk about 'what goes where' ROTFL, Omigod, I think I have tears coming down my face this was so funny - sad in reality - but hysterical that what it all comes down to is whether or not you smell good - and of course, hopefully the rash wasn't the result of not having the what goes where talk about the deodorant - like using yogurt to prevent yeast infections in a non-food way!!! In seriousness, we have only experienced this with books which have inappropriate info for DS 4.5, and I have to say you all are scaring me a bit!!! DeHe
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Hi NCPMom ~ I have a great book recommendation!... "What's Happening To Me" by Alex Frith/Usborne books ... Usborne has a girl and a boy version ... It's a thin book with many humorous "cartoon-like" drawings ... I love it because it covers the basics in a "fun" way Lol ... I wanted to know if my son (then almost age 11) was ready for "the talk" so I casually left the book on a livingroom table. My son noticed it immediately haha ... He read it from cover to cover without putting it down once! After that, I knew he was ready to know more 
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On another note, the social studies teacher- who didn't have a say, but was against the idea of skipping since the 5th graders are so much more mature, has assigned dd a report on genital mutilation. DD said they did not get to choose, but instead had them assigned. And she said she would rather have had a report on the oil spill or flooding or the cholera outbreak. While I'm tempted to complain, I think I'll just support dd to understand the issue fully so she can write a decent report. Seriously, is it even an appropriate topic for any fifth grader? Not for 10 year old DS for sure- glad HE didn't get the topic (he got rainforest). I would agree with other posters, and add this to it, completely inappropriate for any minor. Makes you wonder how the system got to a point to think THIS would have an educational value to any 5th grader or any other grade... I hope you do complain and get this changed for your dd
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Everyone should know about Underachievement, and the terrible price we all pay for it.' Loved your idea for the underachievement film and can totally see it! 
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Cricket, don't wait too long to have that talk! Not that this applies to your child, when my niece attended 7th grade sex ed in Ft. Collins, she observed that the vast majority of kids who were experimenting with sex were also the kids whose parents opted them out of sex ed. She and I have talked. I've talked with dd10 as well. It's an ongoing conversation, but I must admit that we haven't discussed anal sex! I suspect that the kids whose parents opted them out here and who are experimenting, as you mention, may be from homes where the parents opted them out of the class due to religious beliefs. We have a pretty large core of fundamentalist Christians around here. Some of the kids are taught nothing but abstinence. As I recall from grad school (I majored in Public Health), the abstinence only education that focuses on scare tactics tends to create more teen pregnancies b/c it doesn't reduce kids having sex, it just reduces them using protection when they do. We aren't particularly religious and I wouldn't opt out of a program due to the hope that dds will wait until marriage. I have expressed to them that I don't want them having sex in their early/mid teens, but that they need to talk with me if they are considering it so we can discuss birth control. (I've also let them know that the family tends toward fertility as I was on birth control both times I got pg! and that a pregnancy isn't the only "bad" outcome of sex.) Point being, we are talking. I just want to be able to talk privately which is a better fit for dd12's personality at least. She was really embarrassed by the concept of a male teacher she didn't know talking with them and really bothered by the co-ed part of it b/c the boys were just joking and laughing. Sorry to derail -- back to your regularly scheduled conversation!
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