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We also have a child that gets upset if he doesn't have "his" time. At the same time he wants to do EVERYTHING. Like one of the other posters, we limit him to one physical activity and 1 musical activity at a time. This seems to allow him time for himself, time for homework and time for practice.
Over the years, he has earned a Black belt in karate, taken tennis, swimming and played soccer. I have taught him piano to some extent. He can read music and has a great ear. At his request, he is now taking drum lessons and continuing with piano as time permits.

He really wants to go back to karate but we dont' have a school nearby that I like right now that meets our schedule needs.

I think it is great that you have so many options available to you in NYC

We also do generally do one active, one musical activity for the most part for DS7, and DD3 (she's only in preschool 3 mornings a week) now too. We are hoping to start DD3 on an instrument in the fall - suzuki violin if she has her way. She's doing kinder musik type program now. DS7 has been taking piano for almost 2 years and started about 7 months before kindergarten. Which worked out really well for him.

I also kind of feel like the free time is GREAT for the kids in terms of creativity and inventiveness. When they're left to their own devices for a couple hours at a time, it's amazing the things they do and come up with. I feel like they have plenty of time to try everything. Both of them would ask to book their schedules solid, but I really feel like we all need that down time.

Hey all,

DD5 started violin last year at 4. She has a private lesson, and we didn't go to Suzuki, I didn't think my child would be a good fit. Our teacher studied under Suzuki many years ago and it became problematic that the teacher wanted her to play twinkle twinkle little star over and over until it was perfect. Luckily, after a few terse e-mails, she relented and became more flexible concerning dd5. Now she only has to practice Twinkle once per week and is learning to read music. She has a folder full of music she can choose what she wants to practice. I give the teacher a lot of credit as this goes against her teaching philosophy, but DD was about to quit.
Or turn into a mini rock star and crash her violin against the wall until it was smashed to bits!

Incog

LOL incog!!! We also do one activity at a time. My DS10 has done taekwondo, baseball, soccer, basketball, BMX bike racing and some guitar lessons. But all this is only one at a time. This year he is in clubs at school like 4H, drama and art club that meet right after school for an hour or so on different days so I don't count those as part of the "one thing". He has always wanted to try absolutely everything. Next on his list is snowboarding but as we live in the south this is not a viable option on a day to day basis. Maybe for vacation though.

DS6 is another story. He never wants to do anything but stay at home and play. He has played soccer and just now has gotten interested in karate but that is about it. I just go with the flow with whatever they want to do (within reason of course!!!)

I think as they get older, it becomes easier for them to do lots of things at once, especially if the academic challenge isn't quit up to snuff. By the time my son is 10 or so, I expect to follow his lead more than I do now, and if he chooses to be what I would consider to be overprogrammed, then I'll be a lot more okay with that than I would be with a 3-4-5-6-7yo child.

But I tend to think that the younger they are, the more downtime they need to think and dream and play and process the day's input, even for the highly outgoing, on-the-move kids. But since all kids are different, naturally YMMV, and you have to do whatever works best for your particular child.

I only recently started restricting activities because I can no longer get everyone where they need to be and pick them up and make sure they're prepared. Once they're in High School, most activities are organized through the school, but there's still transport requirements.

Aside from hating running around and always barking at the kids, "hurry up, get in the car!", fast food dinners, DH and I go to bed EARLY. We always have. Usually about 9:30-10 pm. I am finding some of the activities are going very late (Basketball games and practices encroach on my pajama time).
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Just a comment, early bedtime to me means 8 pm. I am talking about me. Not exactly, but after DD3 goes to bed, I do a few things and then head there myself, but I like getting up at 4 am. My time. And I used to have to go to work early,so 4 am became my running time.

DD is also a morning person, by my habit.

Now that I am doing the research, I am really looking at the non-linear aspect of her and how much she is like me. I never categorized my learning that way but now I see why people viewed me as different.

I was "overscheduled" but I also added on myself. So I am wondering how much is the need for activity and desire to participate in many things. My mother put me in ballet at 3, took swimming lessons soon after (factor of living on the beach), then piano, skating, tennis. I added track and soccer at grade school. By the time I was in high school I added more, though I didn't play soccer anymore.

Not that I don't enjoy the down time of reading, my 5 mile run in the morning is kind of like my start, my centering. So maybe it is just me. Because DD3 seems to want the activities.

On the note about cutting back on the Montessori. 3:30 is the earliest pick up time. And I am picking her up a little after nap. They eat lunch late in her class. Good thing I feed her breakfast for 2.5 hours in the morning.

Ren

GS8 thrives on a busy schedule. He started K while still with our son. He had behavior issues at school and stepmom responded by taking things away until all he was allowed to do was stay in his room, he just behaved worse. We got custody in the middle of K and I started him in ice skating lessons and a couple more things. He's had piano & swimming lessons in the last year.

Currently he's in Cub Scouts which is usually 2 meetings/month and 1 pack meeting a month. He takes Spanish after school 1 day/week. He has 3 calves and does farm chores that take about an hour every night. 4-H will start next month with meetings every 2 weeks until schools out, then every week until August. He shows the calves 1-3 times/month right now and will show at about a dozen county & state fairs and jr shows this summer. He's a regular member of his Sunday night church youth group. We take him to farm educational meetings with us. He reads a lot and I started him on the Singapore math books in January. He has less than 5 minutes of homework from school I'll probably try to work in flute lessons this summer. We also try to do some projects at home that add to what he is doing at school.
So far, the more he does, the happier he is. The physical activity from the farm work has been good for him, but I think adding the math books has been the best addition.

I am surprised he has so little homework from school. The big thing in NYC is homework and I thought that was a national thing. Kids by 2nd grade getting 2 -3 hours of homework each night????

Ren

Homework for Third Grade in our Public School takes between 45 minutes to 2 hours depending on the assignments. I personally think they do that to reduce the opportunity for parents to afterschool. I know after struggling to keep my son focused on completing the repetitious drill based assignments reasonably neatly, neither one of us has the energy to do much more. Add in practice time for his activities and eating dinner and we are already close to bed time. Pull out days are the worst. Those days he can have around 3 hours homework to make up the missed classroom assignments plus regular homework.

It would be different if I felt that he was getting any benefit from his homework other than learning each day you just have to do it. It really hurts to see his love of learning disappearing under the weight of pure drudgery.