Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional ADHD and Executive Function

I think my son's SPD can sometimes look like ADHD and the developmental pediatrician he saw at age 7 told me that some people might think he has ADHD, but he doesn't. He is capable of incredible focus. I think SPD is what causes him to sometimes have problems with time management.

I have noticed that my son and I are both overly sensitive people. We sometimes go into a sensory overload state. We both have anxiety when we know that we have to do something that we know from experience will overload our senses. For my son it is usually medical related, like trips to the doctor who tells us if his scoliosis is getting worse or the neurologist who prescribed a stong medication that my son is worried about taking. My son says his heart starts beating faster when he sees the doctor's office. By the time we have been sitting in the waiting room for an hour with all the sights, sounds and smells, his blood pressure is high. When he braces himself for the bad news, I can see the anxiety in his eyes but there is still no behavior problem. He takes the bad news and keeps it inside. Ask him to do math or do anything that requires thinking the rest of the day, and he might look like he has ADHD and executive function issues. When we are in this state, we don't have behavioral issues that other people would notice. What happens to us is happening inside. For instance, I don't want to talk, my heart beats faster, my blood pressure goes up, if I try to read anything it doesn't "stick" in my mind and I can't control the worries that keep popping into my head. When my son is also in this sensory overload state it is hard for him to do any homeschooling and I don't have good enough executive functioning to make him. On those days we do only what is absolutely necessary around the house and try to forget about the rest. We usually end up reading interesting history or science articles, listening to music, watching youtube videos, anything to distract us so we can get our overly sensitive bodies to calm down. But our lives just keep getting more challenging and we can't keep taking days off. We are looking for ways to control our internal reactions and learn to focus through the difficulties. We don't want to take any kind of medication.

I have been cleaning out old files at home and ran across lots of evidence that I once had very good executive functioning--like copies of employee appraisals from when I used to work and used to have a normal life. I also found my scores from testing done at a university that I was transferring to after completing two years at a community college while also working full time. I was also a single parent at the time. Most of my scores were above average and my critical thinking score was my highest score. There is no way I would score that high now. I can't focus enough to even read an article in the newspaper because I can't get all the problems out of my mind. I forgot to take lunch to my parents one day because I was too focused on my son's difficulties so I definitely had dysfunctional executive function that day. I often feel like I have ADHD now because of all the stress.

How about something like:

It's not
how smart you are,

it's
how you are smart.

Lori H. , Stress will effected your executive function in the way you describe. Very sensitive people often recognize ways to compensate or modify their life to overcome shutting down. Prayer or meditation, I have found is very helpful. People who also have same type of issues you describe have been very happy with results of improving diet, with nutrient dense, organic foods. The book "The Gift of ADHD" had alot of information you could use, to address options and resources possibly helpful. Also the book "The Sensory Smart Child" is a great resource for parents. It may sound to good to be true, but one stalk of celery a day, is like a nerve tonic. Wishing you The best.

I'm curious too, Lori, if meditation would be helpful to you or your son. I've recently started reading and taking small steps toward meditation. Of course you wouldn't really expect meditation to help you with a large stressor right away, but you could practice with little stressors first.

I am very sensitive to temperature, and I've found that lately by doing the breathing/heartbeat monitoring exercises, I can deal with that very minor stressor. I love the idea of OverExcitabilities, but I don't love how the theory doesn't really give much hope of handling them in a way that makes them less bothersome. Avoiding is wise, but does it make me stronger in the long term? Where is the balancing edge? Understanding is sweet, but does it help me have the life I want?

www.appliedmeditation.org
for more,
or the books:
http://www.appliedmeditation.org/books_cds/now_available.php

Love and More Love,
Grinity

I've found meditation very beneficial.

This is a fun meditation related "chakra" test. It gives you results immediately without e-mail or text or any of that weird stuff.
http://www.eclecticenergies.com/chakras/chakratest.php

Grinity, I so agree with you. I have OEs, and may even toe the line of Aspeger's, but nothing tells me what I can do to deal with them. I have the sensory overload issue, but I function normally in work environments; however, if I have two children speaking loudly, both wanting my attention, one of them messing with my chair or tugging on my shirt, my stress levels suddenly go through the roof. I feel very overloaded. I also can't go into dance clubs, or anywhere where people will bump me and I have to deal with lots of noise.:/

I think there should be research into this topic.

What have you found that works so far? Artana
We have a family joke based on the time I blurted out: "I can only do 3 things at a time!" (apparently I felt like I was being asked to do 4 things)

Who can be calm with 2 kids bidding for attention at the same time?

Do any of us? What have other parents done to handle this?

I took 'preventitive steps' and only had one child - but that doesn't seem like a helpful answer - oh wait - do you get a chance to set up 1-to-1 dates with each child on a regular basis?

2nd advice is to help the children develop their inner resources so that they don't have to be stuck in the cycle of emotional neediness, or maybe even can be a resource to each other? For that I like the 2008 edition of Howard Glasser's bookTransforming the Difficult Child. Which is what got me started on meditating, since I had to find something to do while I was 'taking the batteries out.'

I'd love to hear what is working for other parents -
Love and More Love
Grinity

Grinity/Artana,
Oooh, thank you for sharing. I use to be able to do 3-5 things at once, but maybe it is age, but my previous sensory overload issues which I understand more now was easier to manage/deal/ignore.

These days, I feel like I can do maybe 2 things at once but I really only want to do 1 thing at a time. If child is asking for something -- poor hubby, better not be asking for something also. Ha. And what was I planning to do for myself? Can't remember now. Noise adds to the stress, too. Too much talking adds to it.

One thing I've found helpful is simply to pre-plan almost everything to reduce the questioning and neediness.

Would love to hear more from everyone as well.

I know that with DS 9, the whole plan revolves around slowly introducing him to situations, upping his stress threshold and working with him on how to calm down on the spot. I wish I had had that training!:)

I think part of it is that as adults we slowly move more into our comfort zones. There is no one proding and poking us (much) into situations we are uncomfortable with, so our resistance goes down. Maybe I have to go to a dance club and stand there for 10 minutes, then the following week 15...treat it as a way to up resistance. ^_^ That would be funny. Everyone else having fun and me standing, gritting my teeth and looking at my watch.