Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Autism?? Aspergers??

DeeDee, thanks for the input. His ped said the same thing when she originally gave me the script for the trial meds. As for a f/u with the psych, he specializes in adolescent/child. Do you think it'd be worth a f/u with him or should I look for someone else to talk to about it? I couldn't agree with you more about the label. I think he's more concerned about "labeling" him for school purposes than himself. Even though "labeling" him in school could work in his favor since it would be addressed?

Our experience is that if the kid is unusual enough to need labeling, then lots of people at school and elsewhere are already noticing he's unusual, so it's not like the label is going to change things much for the worse from a social point of view.

Once you are sure enough about the diagnosis to tell the child, it's also better for the child's self esteem to think that he's got interesting wiring than to think he's a terrible person who simply can't do what others can do but doesn't know why. The diagnosis can depersonalize the challenges in a useful way so the child and the whole family can grasp them and work on them without its being a problem of the "child being bad."

The other thing about the label is that if he's unusual enough to merit a label, he's also unusual enough to need the services that a label can bring at school. The label gives you the legally protected right to an education that is more appropriately focused on the particular child's needs. As long as that education is actually delivered appropriately (and this bears serious watching!)-- that seems to me an unqualified good. It has been this way in our experience with a 2E child.

As for the followup: tricky. Based on the very little I know of your DH, it might be easier to get him to go if it were couched as a parent education meeting with the child psych than if it were framed as a meeting with the adult psych about DH's own issues. He probably wouldn't like that. Right? It seems to me the child psych could probably tell you a great deal about how to manage the diagnosis as parents for the benefit of the child, information that could also help your DH come to terms more gracefully.

HTH,
DeeDee

Thanks so much DeeDee

I totally agree - in fact, the proper label can often help you avoid other, more troublesom labels.

I don't know how I missed this whole thread, but I just wanted to let you know I love how rapidly you are pursuing getting an answer!

Our son was diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder when he was young and having early intervention therapies helped him incredibly! My husband was extremely resistant to any kind of "label" but he has since come around and is our son's biggest champion.

DH is the one who goes in to the school and has the patience to sit for hours explaining to the principal that DS is not being defiant, DS is not a sociopath, here is what the school can do to make life easier for everyone. DH is the one who checks and makes sure the school is following the IEP, and meets with the teachers individually to discuss what would work best in that particular classroom. For someone who was adamently against labels, DH has turned into an advocate...and our son is thriving because of it!

Now I need to work on getting DH to be a gifted advocate...:) Nan

Nan, sounds like your DH is already a wonderful advocate. What a tremendous gift he is to your DS!

DeeDee

Nan, that's awesome about your DH.

I agree about the labeling. I think it'd be better if he is labeled with the correct label instead of being labeled as a bad kid or a defiant kid or whatever.

It'll be very interesting to see what happens when school starts in a few weeks. This new school has a lot of Sp. Ed. teachers, so hopefully he'll get the assistance he needs to keep his ADHD in check other than what we're doing at home.

I really appreciate all of the input from everyone, you've been great!

Thanks for sharing Nan and especially this part. I find that society is still so anti-labels and especially when it comes to anything on the spectrum that they miss the importance of early intervention.

Kudos to you and your husband.