Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion 'too much for other people to take'

I'm not that intense (to my knowledge) in social situations, unless I get on to a discussion topic that's really important to me - and then I do tend to drive all but my fellow die-hards away from the conversation! But I'm VERY intense as a student and as a teacher. And that shows up in a lot of ways as a teacher: I have a lot of passion for new ideas and following them through, I'm very high-energy when I'm presenting something, the relationships I have with my students are very important to me, and my beliefs about teaching - many of which are somewhat unorthodox - I hold onto and put into practice no matter what anyone says. My kids love me for it, of course. I think they enjoy seeing an adult who's "always on" and has the capacity to be a bit silly and hyper, because it makes them feel like it's okay for them to feel that way - and yet at the same time, they understand that the care and respect I have for them is genuine, and they see my drive and commitment and I think it models something really good for them. Other teachers tend to look at me with raised eyebrows. Administrators...well, let's not talk about how they react!

In my house it was, "You need to learn to get along!"

I didn't figure out what that meant for something like two decades. Now, when my kids have the same kinds of problems I had, I try to learn from the vagueness and be explicit about why others get wound up. Then I make suggestions for how the situation can be remedied.

Did I mention that DH and I have three intense children?

Val

This is great to read. I was always told to Mellow Out, your too intense etc. My husband is my first partner who does not complain so I wondered if he found me intense so I asked him today. He said yes but somehow it does not bother him. He is very smart and in my book I imagine he is HG if not PG. He is a PhD scientist with a lot of publications etc. His intensity is more like a laser light when it comes through. He also is much more mellow than me physically. I am like tons of energy vibrating and he just coasts along. I am so grateful for his acceptance of me and I don't feel so intense because its not meeting a constant wall of rejection. My oldest DD is full of energy and I have to try really hard not to tell her to mellow out or be more quiet etc. I do work with her to try and take a breath and find center. We both need exercise to be mellower. Great thread thanks! I guess I should add a disclaimer that I don't know if I am gifted. My husband thinks so but I guess he might have to say that.....lol

Oh, this is SO me!!!

Oh, wow. My grandfather always told me that I was too sensitive, as I cried over every little thing. I was also told by teachers that "I couldn't control my emotions", which I could, but it was hard because every little feeling could flow out of my body. Now that I'm here on this forum, I now know other people who are as intense and sensitive as I am!

I am now currently reading, "Raising the Intense Child" on the internet. If I get the book, I'll show it to my family members and tell them how to raise me! People will understand, then!

In my house, it was "You're too intense. What is wrong with you?"

It is SO GREAT to hear from all of you. THANK YOU ALL. (For emphasis, not loudness.)




LOL! I feel that way, ... "here's how to raise me" Send them to this forum and SENG.

I can super intense but I am also very curious. I ask questions because I am truly interested in what people do, the companies, how, when, where. I had a friend who said to me "why is it that people tell you their biggest secrets?" I tend to probe well I guess. Which sort of was part of my job on Wall Street. But as I get going, I know I am like a fisherman with a fish on the hook and I am intense. And then I like to figure out how things work, how it could be done better, as I listen.

I do remember as a kid I wanted to be out the back door looking for someone to play with all the time. And DD prefers playmates to playing alone.

I think I have become an introvert with age. But I was at every party for a few decades.

Ren

I have so much to say about this! Yes, mainly about history/social justice issues, etc.! This is me (from SENG):

"INTELLECTUAL OVEREXCITABILITTY
Intellectual OE is demonstrated by a marked need to seek understanding and truth, to gain knowledge, and to analyze and synthesize (Dabrowski & Piechowski, 1977; Piechowski, 1979, 1991). Those high in Intellectual OE have incredibly active minds. They are intensely curious, often avid readers, and usually keen observers. They are able to concentrate, engage in prolonged intellectual effort, and are tenacious in problem solving when they choose. Other characteristics may include relishing elaborate planning and having remarkably detailed visual recall. People with Intellectual OE frequently love theory, thinking about thinking, and moral thinking. This focus on moral thinking often translates into strong concerns about moral and ethical issues-fairness on the playground, lack of respect for children, or being concerned about "adult" issues such as the homeless, AIDS, or war. Intellectually overexcitable people are also quite independent of thought and sometimes appear critical of and impatient with others who cannot sustain their intellectual pace. Or they may be become so excited about an idea that they interrupt at inappropriate times."

Last summer I was obsessed with the situation in Iran and it was intensely frustrating that my husband didn't want to come home after a 12 hour day and discuss it with me. He is also gifted (I am guessing MG) and also intense (and German!)...just not about any of the same things or in the same way...which makes life interesting!

Also was constantly told by my (well-intentioned) mom not to read books that made me cry and not to feel things so deeply.

Ruined a dinner out with my favorite cousin and his wife b/c I just.would.not let go of the topic of forced sterilization. We laugh about it now and I try very hard to not be such a PIA.

I do also remember having a very spirited debate with my 3rd grade teacher about the equal rights ammendment and being furious that she was patronizing.

Glad to know I am not alone!

Wow ... this is me! It always freaks my DH out that he can work with someone for over a year and when I meet them, I will have uncovered things about them he never knew in just a matter of 10 minutes. Even when I was in school and had long art classes I passed the time discovering secrets about professors. They were always shocked with how much I could uncover about them with my questions. One of my professors passed away last year and I will never forget the summer I had his class and the life story I discovered. He lived such an interesting life and definitely not one on the typical path, but also not one that he openly shared either. I just had this ability to make him feel at ease as I probed.