Theresa, at some point in the process this year, I did consider skipping. Our kids were in a 4th/5th class as 4th graders, so they could have had a fairly seamless move on to middle school next year (starts in 6th grade here) with the kids in their class who were 5th graders. I dropped the idea of pursuing a skip once I found out they would keep the same teacher for 5th if they stayed at the elementary school next year. Although I don't necessary agree with all her opinions, I am delighted that she *has* thought a lot about education philosophy - and she is truly dedicated to making it work. She knows the curriculum well, knows how to differentiate. The kids are thrilled to be in her class next year, and we have been very fortunate not to have problems with boredom and/or behavior - our case is not a crisis here but really a philosophical choice. So in the end I am at peace with the decision to leave them in her class for 5th. I would be much *less* comfortable with them skipping 6th, the first year of middle school. The public middle school is much bigger than their elementary and I am sure social groups get established that first year... The progressive private school does not have grades, but rather multi-age classrooms. Our kids would join 11-14 year olds there.
Newmom - Your question is a good one about the progressive school and gifted kids, and I think it all comes down to the individual teachers. A few years back I spoke to a mom about her experiences with her son (the son is now in grad school) there. Her son is phenomenally talented in math (Putnam winner, etc.), and also happens to have an Asperger's diagnosis. She was very happy with the school. They asked the school not to even attempt math instruction (I think the parents hired a tutor for math), and the fit for the kid was great in every other way. Our case is quite different (no Asperger's or math prodigies), but this is a good data point. But also, there have likely been changes in the school in the intervening decade.... It is much much smaller than the public school, so more limited in social opportunities, including those with other smart kids, and this is one of the things I struggle with. And, am I depriving my kids if they miss out on Future Problem Solvers or Science Olympiad, etc. by sending them to the private?
On elite schools - both dh and I were undergrads at Caltech, and in my opinion the level of instruction I received as an engineering student there was *way* higher than what I teach at My Good State U. The difference in what is expected of the students at those two places is like night and day. I believe that surviving Caltech was an enormous boost to my confidence as a scientist. At moments of self-doubt, I often take strength from knowing I'm well trained for what I do - with a training as rigorous as it comes. I'd really like my kids to *have the option* to choose undergrad schools like this, and to me that means exposure at some point to an academically demanding school situation. I always thought that would start in middle school, and this is really what I am questioning. Can we let them pursue independent projects through middle school, and wait until high school for a more demanding curriculum? I am surprising myself in moving from "no way" for an answer to "maybe."....
Moving on to graduate training at an elite university - I agree that the pedigree itself can open doors, but also having a big name as a research mentor also creates opportunities. I think that grad students can many times get training of equal quality at schools other than that top tier, but those other factors (school name, connections) can significantly impact their future career. I was on a search committee last year for an administrative position. The candidate who was hired negotiated a $5k increase in the starting salary. The successful argument was that although the person who left had several years experience more than the candidate (the "non-negotiable" salary offer was the same as the person leaving), the candidate was chosen in part because of having a Stanford PhD, and if that was indeed a factor, that gives it a monetary value salarywise....
