Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy transition from school to summer

DS9's last full day of school is today (and then there's one hour on Thursday, grrrr). Yesterday, when DH picked him up from school, DS seemed glum; eventually he said he'd been thinking about his grandmother's dog who had died several years ago. The dog's death is a kind of touchstone for DS whenever he's sad or grieving. I'm almost positive the dog has come to mind because of the school year ending, but I don't know how to talk to DS about that, and I don't know how to help ease the transition. Yesterday I suggested that DH have DS make a list of things he wants to do this summer, just so the frontier is not so nebulous, and I think that helped a little, but surely not enough.

DS will be spending summer days in his grandparents' care, and his older cousin will be there, too. He loves his cousin like a sister, so I know he'll enjoy that time together immensely, and then most evenings and weekends he'll be home with us, as usual.

Any suggestions/comments?

I think I'd go for helping him make his sadness about the end of the school year explicit, e.g. helping him make a list of all the things he'll miss about school over the summer. This might make it "worse" in the short term, but there's huge benefit in being able to recognise one's own feelings for what they are and own them rather than suppress them (wish I could have learned that at his age!). It may also help in finding ways to have fun in the summer, but I wouldn't push that in the same conversation.

If you have any 'end of year stories' from your childhood, try telling them to DS9 and see if he takes the hint.

Try to get into the roll of 'consultant' - think of him as the main 'issue identifier' and 'problem solver' and you as the interested observer. Sometimes a book or movie can get a conversation started, as can cooking projects. I don't have any movie idea, but if you son likes Guacamole, it's a good food project for this age.

Best Wishes,
Grinity

I use projects.

We have a list of projects that will take at least 2 weeks to complete. For example, gardening, tree house building, bird house.....things like that.

I just got Damian a harmonica.....our first project for the summer is to learn to play.

We just went through this last week. I think that finding out what they will miss is important. For DD, she deeply attaches to her teachers and finds it very hard to separate each year. Knowing this was coming, we worked with the teacher as the end of school approached. We got her address so DD could write her notes over the summer if she wants. The teacher talked to her about coming to visit her in the fall. She also arranged visits with next year's teacher to help with the transition. DD still sobbed hysterically at the end of school but seems fine this week.

It hit DS Sunday night when he usually thinks about going back to school on Monday. Instead of mopey crying, he had a full-blown meltdown. Last night was somewhat better...just some crying about missing school and his teacher. This will be the hardest week since we have no camp...but next week starts three weeks of chemistry and earth science, yippee!! I hoping the structure will help!

DS6 is the same, though this year was much easier. He will begin an "I miss my old teachers" routine about a week before school starts (anxiety about new year and this year, a new school).

DS8 is the same. Even when it hasn't been a great year, he is still very connected to his teachers. We try to talk about it and just let him express his opinions, and eventually he moves on. It helps to refocus him on the summer's adventures when it all gets to be a bit too much.