Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Update on meeting with School

Just to give some background..
Our DS5 is in Kindergarten and we were asking for a grade skip to 2nd grade for next year. I met with the teacher first and her initial reaction was the typical social aspect, blah, blah, blah. I gave her a Nation Deceived and the IAS Manual and she said she thought it was though provoking but it was the principal's ultimate call.

We had the meeting with the principal and as it turns out a child the previous year did skip 1st grade and went straight into 2nd grade. It was a disaster for the young girl, the school and the teacher. Soooo, based on that experience he was saying no way to a grade skip. He assured me that each of his teachers are charged with challenging each of their kids to their fullest potential and that his teacher next year will be challenging my son. I respectfully disagreed with him, but said I would give it a shot.

He pointed out that our son is doing great this year in school and I reminded him that I was paying $500 a quarter for him to use the EPGY program, so no, it wasn't working within their system. (We are moving over to Open Enrollment in June, I ended up becoming an SSA for our entire school which is entirely parent driven and funded.)

He couldn't discuss specifics about the botched grade skip for the young girl but I did reference the IAS manual and suggested that perhaps there was poor planning in that skip. I asked if proper testing was done ie. IQ, Ability and Achievement. Was the receiving teacher totally on-board with the skip? I got a lot of coughing and blank stares.

I don't know what to do. We could afford the OUTRAGEOUSLY expensive private schools in our area but I don't believe I would get anything more for my son than what I'm getting. I would classify my son at an LOG of 3++. He is much higher on his performance IQ and we've been told he might have a mild auditory processing disorder (whatever that is!). His verbal IQ was still 138.

He is the type that will cause trouble when he is bored and I reminded them of that. I asked the principal to not even mention ADHD to me next year if he starts to act out (our psychologist completely ruled it out.)

My next move is to give my IAS manual to the principal and ask that he read the whole thing. At least it may help another student in the future.

Any comments or ideas are welcome. Eleanor 05

That is really unfortunate and frustrating! I wouldn't say the door is closed just yet though. I agree with MON about asking how they will meet his needs next year. I am not sure if the grade acceleration would take the place of the subject acceleration or if he would need both. But if he only needed one, then grade acceleration would be so much easier for them.

I wonder if it would be helpful to talk with them and say that you are sorry that they have had a bad experience with the grade skip with another girl, but that this is a completely different situation and that it would be really sad if your son was not able to have his needs met because someone else had a bad experience. Every child is different and the IAS is supposed take each individual child into account and see if it is a good fit. Maybe they could do a trial thing and see. What if they put him in with some of these peers for part of the day now to see how he would do. Nothing actually set, but just visiting and working with the classroom some.

Anyhow, you sound like a great advocate for your son! Keep up the great work, it is definitely a challenge some days...or most days rather. : )

I think you missed a few magical words that might help!

You want a "provisional skip" to test out the waters :-) Go with the "I completely understand that sometimes these situations are not successful for the student and I would never want to put my child in a negative situation. However, all of my research shows that it is a good option that we'd like to consider. So we would like to move him provisionally to 2nd grade. We could meet 4 and 8 weeks into the school year to determine if he's adjusted well and to identify any gaps I can fill at home."

Admin wants a way out. If you offer it to them that this is not the end all be all, they may be more willing to bite. In addition, you can always ask them to consider a mid-year skip with 1st for a semester and 2nd for a semester.

I just wanted to say hang in there! I agree that it is worth pushing more on the grade skip - I think everything you already did (pointing out IAS, etc) if you keep pushing on it will eventually break them down. The fact that it didn't work for another child has no statistical relevance to whether it will work for your child- point it out and turn the numbers around on them (using IAS and N.D. etc).

I know it must be so frustrating that their lack of knowledge with the earlier grade skip is now causing you issues - but keep at it.

Good luck and hang in there. I agree that you need to give them a way out. Cat

Thanks, everyone, for your response. We actually talked about grade skipping DS and then if it didn't work out putting him back in 1st grade, but they were adamantly opposed. They think it is more harmful for a kid to go to 2nd grade and then drop down to 1st grade if it didn't "work", than a 1st grader being moved up to 2nd. I told them I totally disagreed. They also said that if in the first two weeks of school the teacher noticed that he is ready for 2nd grade then they would move him, but really I think they just say that to try and make me feel better.
I have since given to the principal the IAS and "A Nation Deceived" . Don't know if he read it, but I basically told him it is very interesting and might give him insight into why the other grade skip didn't work.

I will be pushing for differentiation, at the very least, and I think they will wholeheartedly go for that, so it may not be so bad after all. We shall see.

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