Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Unsure of what to ask for... starting school

Hi,

It is perhaps a little late in the piece to be asking this as we have a meeting with a school tomorrow regarding my dd4 (though it is the first school we're visiting, so I suspect it will be one of many). She is is due to start in Feb next year, when she will be just 5. She was tested on the SBV recently and scored 144, a result which the tester thinks is an underestimate as dd stopped cooperating toward the end of the test, ceilinged a couple of subtests and didn't reach the discontinuation criteria on the FR subtest. I would have to say I suspect she's right as the VVS and VWM, the subtests dd refused to cooperate with, only had scores in the high average range - however it is her language abilities that indicated to us that she was very gifted.

The problem is that I am unsure of what I should be asking for. Our ed psych has suggested that she will likely need a couple of accelerations over the course of her schooling and I am wondering whether earlier is better than later. Everything I have read has indicated that if it is well supported earlier is good and dd is really struggling to find any satisfactory relationships in preschool, though she is quite socially mature so she is well liked and plays well with others. I guess I worry about accelerating her in to grade one (we're in Australia) and whether or not she will cope without knowing the 'rules' of the playground - she doesn't cope well with embarrassing herself in front of others, so I worry she might just curl up in to herself. To flip the coin to starting in kindergarten, she is very much a chameleon and I suspect she will just immediately dumb herself down to fit the class - again with not wanting to stand out, she doesn't like other kids to know she has abilities that differ to theirs (for example she would never read at preschool despite being able to read at a 2 grade + level). This makes me reluctant to start the year in kindergarten and just 'see how it goes' - I worry that she will just slot herself and in and her additional needs will be doubted and overlooked.

I would say she has been across the kindergarten curriculum since she was around 2.5, so I don't think there'd be many gaps to fill going in to grade 1 - except when it come to the social rules of bigger kids (we don't have regular access to older kids she can 'practice' on).

I guess I am interested in people's thoughts on early acceleration and how important that first year of school is re learning how school 'works'. She would be one of the youngest in a kindergarten class, let alone a grade one class (though is tall and quite physically able, if not terribly physically confident).

Thanks,

Ari

http://mumofagiftedgirl.blogspot.com/

I have a DS who skipped K this year, and it worked out great. I should say that he has two older siblings who attended the same elementary school, so DS was familiar with the building. I should also say that his 1st grade teacher was my DD's 1st grade teacher, so he had met her a few times. And I should also say that DS tends to be outgoing and had two years of preschool under his belt. But, honestly, adjusting to the routines of K took very little time.

I made sure to discuss with him some of the basics of elementary school, like raising his hand when he wants to say something, the importance of sitting still, that kids each have a specific seat assigned to them, that he would be at school all day, that if he needed to go to the restroom he would need to ask the teacher (in preschool he never went to the bathroom at school because he took it as a fun challenge not to!), that he would be eating lunch at school and that if he had trouble opening something in his lunchbox he could ask for help. Throughout the year we have come across the occasional thing that we needed to explain: how the whole snow pants/snow boots thing works in the winter, and how when a teacher says "would you like to . . ." the answer should pretty much always be yes. Basically, we tried to point out anything that might be different between his preschool and elementary school experiences. We tried to be positive and casual about it to make it sound fun and like we knew he was up for the challenge, not a whole list of things he needed to learn or he'd get in trouble.

Really, though, learning the rules of school took very little time. In our district, at least, we have many recent immigrants to our country, and they have a harder time adjusting. Also, his position of being new to the rules of the school isn't so different from that of any new student who has to learn their way around and learn how their particular teacher works. And another thing, that you'll see if you visit a classroom, is that there is a HUGE variety of kids in any given class who have social, emotional, and academic needs all over the spectrum.

Academically, since DS was working way above his classmates, he didn't need to focus on learning and could focus on learning the rules of school. Of course, like I said, learning the rules didn't take long, so we then started working to accommodate his academic needs as well. Still working on it!

One other thing: DS is very tall for his age and is still one of the tallest in his class, so that was helpful as he didn't stand out as being different. Of course DD, who was early entranced and then skipped a grade, is one of the short-average kids in her class now, and she still fits in equally well.

I agree with G3, though, that so much depends upon your own particular child, as well as your particular school/teacher/principal. You know your daughter better than anyone, so after all your research and thinking, go with your gut.

I agree about the indiv. child's needs. My child could have skipped K, as she didn't learn anything new, but we sent her for other reasons.... getting used to school, etc. Not to mention, we were at a private school and they just didn't do that sorta thing that I was aware of. Preschool was disastrous for us as she was so underchallenged that she HATED going. K was a different exp. she really loved it, though she didn't learn academically, she learned other life skills. We are now doing a grade skip for the coming school year several years later, so whether you do it now or later, if it's needed, it will resurface. Keep in the back of your mind that when you are told they will do differentiated curriculum and that should work just fine, it works for an above ave. child but for a truly gifted child, it's still not enough and it's often inconsistent as to what is offered. Many times they offer something other IN ADDITION to the rest of the work the whole class is doing or what not, so make sure you get specifics.

I am in a similar situation. DD will start kindergarten in the fall. At this time, we are not pushing for whole grade acceleration. My thoughts are that she will love "doing school" and enjoy all the other aspects of school. We have talked with the school and I am fairly confident (ok crossing my fingers) that they will accelerate for certain subjects.

I heard Linda Silverman speak on the topic of acceleration for gifted girls. She indicated that it is easier for girls to skip at a younger age and that often by 3rd/4th grade they don't want to skip for blending in/social reasons. Attached is a link to her article on the topic.
http://www.jeffcopublicschools.org/programs/gifted_talented/where_have_all_the_girls_gone.pdf
I know that she is young but does your DD have an opinion on whether to skip K?