Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Let's talk about Aspergers

The reason I'm writing this is that DH and I have recently seen some people on TV who have aspergers (we've never met anyone in real life diagnosed with it) and we were struck by how NORMAL they seemed!

So far we've seen:
Max from Parenthood
Heather from America's Next Top Model
Jerry from Boston Legal (ok, he seemed more extreme)

For a long time we've tried figuring out FIL who has had struggled most of his life with a number of issues. But after seeing these characters on TV (and doing some subsequent research) it really felt like all the pieces were falling into place. So I'm wondering, if you've seen any of these TV show how accurate portrayal of aspergers would these be? Also, if you have a kid (or you, yourself have aspergers) could you tell me maybe a little about yourselves? How did you know you (or your child) had aspergers? What has helped you/your child deal with it? Also, how inheritable is it? How could you distinguish aspergers from overexcitibilites?

Ok, if you can just answer those questions, I'd be really thankful! I'll post about FIL's issue in a second (also some stuff with DH) but I wanted to make that a separate post than this first one in case someone didn't have enough time to read through it.

Sheldon from TV show Big Bang?

Here's what's been going on with FIL. He was originally DXed with being bipolar but it doesn't really fit and the meds haven't helped. He's also VERY intelligent. So here it goes:

- Problems looking people in the eyes
- Misses MANY social cues, doesn't realize/care when people are uncomfortable.
- VERY stuck on routines/structure. Flips out if something is out of place (basically a 50+ year old man throwing a tantrum).
- Definite sensory issues- listens to incredibly loud music, problems with certain textures/clothing
- Sleeps very little
- Will go through phases of spending money like crazy. While very smart can also make some very bad decisions with money (more than once randomly bought property/cars without wife's consent)
- Problems with empathy.
- LOTS of financial anxiety, has had suicidal thoughts
- Goes through obsessions, can talk about little else
- Possible stim- used to pull out beard and chew on it
- Will work himself to the ground. 8 hour days are required and he'll go in at 4am and not leave until 6pm. He tries to do other people's job for them too.
- Likes wearing the same clothes over and over again.

He lives in a developing country so it'll be harder to get him good help. Family (ok, MIL) there has really had problems getting help for him due to lack of good experts and also because the extended family believes he should just suck it up or that he'll be ok when he clearly is not.

Dh has also shown some signs

-Problem with eye contact
-Admits he lacks empathy/hates small talk. He will engaged in small talk with people as an experiment, though (as in same something odd specifically to see how people will react).
-Has had many obsessions. Currently it is work related and because physically ill/depressed if there are problems with work.
- Had problems socially as a kid until he was about 14 when he "invented" a new personality for himself and forced himself to be social.
- Chews on side of the mouth to the point of bleeding/taps foot
- If I am not around he completely shuts down and only works. Will forget to eat and ignore other people entirely.
- Very intelligent. Probably HG+ but was never tested.
- Didn't talk much until age 2 when he started speaking in paragraphs.
- Really stuck on his idea of justice/fairness doesn't use other people's standards
- Has a "uniform". He would wear the same outfit day after day if I would let him.

Ironically, once people get to know DH he's probably one of the funniest, friendliest people out there. But he HATES meeting new people. It's really a struggle to get him to go out with other people even if he does end up having a lot of fun. I keep wondering how much this could just be overexcitibilities and passion for his work? What's the difference?

DD does have a few things she does too:

flaps hands (when excited or upset), loves spinning objects (and being spinned), and has some *possible* texture issues with clothes. She also has to wear certain clothes over and over again like a uniform (and wants to wear multiple layers of clothes). She sleeps very little and does have certain things she is obsessed with (and she throws tantrums is she notices that a puzzle piece is missing, for example). Also, she has some sight words.

But the thing is about her, at least, a lot of that stuff seems like normal toddler stuff, isn't it? She's REALLY social and has never really done parallel play, so that alone makes me think that for her, at least this isn't an issue.
On the other hand, she's always so much more ON than any other kids I know (I'm talking about energy/intensity here not just with intelligence) that I wonder if something is up? That brings me back to the difference between 2E and OE's.

Sorry for the long post but I'd appreciate any thoughts/advice you have!!!!!

Yes! Great example, we also talked about him. I swear I work with some people just like him and FIL definitely has some of his traits. That's another thing. So many people I work with have some of these characteristics (social problems, obsessions, repeating themselves, etc.) it really makes me wonder the difference between aspergers and OE on where you draw the line?

I love Jerry from Boston Legal. Christian Clemenson has done a great job with the character. That having been said, I think Jerry's about as representative of the average person with Asperger's as Bethany is of people with dwarfism, or Denny Crane is of the average 70-something attorney.

In general, I tend to shy away from shows with designated Aspies. One of the things I love about Bones is that nobody has a diagnosis. They're all just geeky. That having been said, I'd throw Zack Addy under the bus...well, except maybe the cannibalism thing.

newmom21c,
I am definitely not able to give you a real diagnosis. But, yes, all of the symptoms you are describing are really big flags for Aspegers. Yes, most people with Aspegers come off as quirky, but no one would immediately think they have an issue. I think that is the hardest thing with DS. He is so normal so much of the time, that when one of his trigger points are hit, everyone acts like it's completely unexpected.

I just posted this same question on the General board. I was asking about my son and his issues with sports. After two people mentioned AS, I read the symptoms list and was struck by how many my son does have. Yet, they're also so similar to OE issues.

You might want to check that thread in case someone answers there.

Because my son started reading without being taught, sounded like a little professor sometimes, had low muscle tone and used to be uncoordinated, and had some sensory issues, there were people who thought he might have Asperger's, but none of the doctors he saw diagnosed him with it.

My son is more like Chuck. He even looks a little like him. Chuck is a geek but does he have Asperger's?

LOL, no Chuck does not have Aspergers...no way. I do love the show though and he is a little quirky but not too much.