Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Sports and Social Groups with the Gifted Child

This is very much like my DS7--he has what I have always described as a lack of kinesthesia. He does not seem to have a connection in his brain that tells his body how to imitate a pose that is right in front of his eyes. You can hold your hand in a certain way, tell him "do this", and his muscles will work so hard at doing something completely different that you can't even move his hand into the right position to show him! It was only this year that he learned to tie his shoes, and he still cannot ride a bicycle, yet he is DYS, grade-skipped, accelerated to 3 years higher math and bored out of his skull.

I don't know if the lack of kinesthesia is related to DS7's Asperger's or a totally different issue, but from some of your description I would say it wouldn't hurt to look into that in your search for an answer.

Really, this isn't just an issue with gifted kids. D20, who has many talents but is only slightly above average in intelligence, also meandered all over the soccer field at age 6. She and a friend were on the team together, and the coach had to move them to different shifts on the field because they wouldn't stop holding hands while running down the field. I don't think her foot actually touched the ball for the whole two seasons she was on the soccer team. But she went on to be captain of the high school volleyball team (small school, not very sports focused, but still...). So there is hope, you just might need to try different sports. It helped that D20 was quite tall, so your son's body type may give you some ideas regarding what sports you might want to encourage.

My two cents.

I was very athletic -- Olympic level. DH was the opposite. Quit little league because he was so bad at it. We tried tennis but he is really bad.

I am VS gifted, he is literal thinking. Brilliant.

DD is athletic. DD is VS and literal. Wonder if literal and VS have some correlation on the athletic thing.....

Ren

DS6 is a lot like your son. As a baby he met all of his physical milestones later but he learned to do the brain things faster. He's on the 5th session of level one swimming. Now they do expect a lot for level one but most get through in a couple times. He has a lot of water fear, it took most of the first session just to get him under. He loves it and has progressed each session, it's just progress is slow. He doesn't care one whit about what level he's in.

He's just now learning to ride a bike. He likes soccer and tee ball but he likes going more than playing. He ducks when a ball or frisbee comes his way . He's not athletic at all. Of course we're not either so that didn't help.

I want to thank all who offered input. It helps so much just to hear from others who have experienced some of the same issues.

Karate has been on my radar for a few months. There are one or two places that offer it that aren't too far from us. He hasn't been exposed to it at all, so I don't know if he will care to take lessons. If it might help him with focusing and disciplining his mind, then we may just give it a try.

When two of you mentioned Asperger Syndrome, I opted to look at the symptoms list just to refresh my memory. I was really surprised at how much of the list did describe him. But at the same time, many of those same things seem to overlap with what we've thought were his OE issues.

I did take him to his pediatrician last year and I described all of the issues we were having. The ped. told me that he was atypical for his age in how he interacted with people. ("People" being the staff at his office.) He felt that IQ testing was in order. I had just reached the place a few months earlier where I was allowing myself to consider this as an option, so hearing that was a relief.

So, my ds was evaluated by someone who deals exclusively with children and has done so for over two decades. He did screen him for ADD, but quickly dismissed it after speaking with him and getting a history from me. He assured us that he was just fine, that there were no disorders, and that what we were experiencing was attributed to his high intelligence. Unless they both missed the AS, I'm going to assume right now that this is an OE issue.

Do children with Asperger Syndrome have communication issues with ALL people, or just certain groups? Mine only has trouble with children his age. One symptom that did jump out at me was the tendency of those with AS to take words and phrases literally. I find that I am always explaining to others that "he takes things literally." Do highly gifted children do this too?

I'll stop for now, but do know that I appreciate ALL of the input. I have been reassured that we are not alone, and I now have ideas of how this might play out in the future.

Hi, I hear you.

My DS is much like yours and has played soccer for the past 3 years (he can't swim either).

As the coach of his team since they started (and very sporty myself) it was an interesting and big learning curve for me to watch him count clouds, walk around the field and 'forget' what he was supposed to do with the ball when it came his way; all while declaring just how much he loved the game.

I definitely swallowed a lot of pride during those years but he was just so happy to be part of the team I just couldn't not let him play.

Eventually the natural order of things won out.

The other kids got faster, more skillful and more competitive each year. They also started losing patience. As the coach I could manage that quite effectively for a while but really the writing was on the wall.

In the end, after some very gentle discussion with me, he decided he was happy to stop at the end of the last season. (He still talks about going back.)

I guess my point is to let it run its course.

If he's happy, having fun and staying safe - why not?

A quiet word to (any decent)coach will help if the other kids are not playing fair.

After all, they all have a right to have fun.

My DS was in the same boat, especially with the swimming. Swimming is a real important skill so I would certainly keep pursuing it. The first summer when DS was 5 we took a 30 minute small group lesson Monday through Friday for 8 weeks. At the end of the 8 weeks, he would finally put his head under water. The next summer we repeated for 6 weeks and he could actually paddle a wee bit. The 3rd summer we only needed 4 weeks and he could finally swim. After that we switched to once per week until he really mastered all the strokes of swimming and built up great endurance for it.

Other sports are obviously not as important as the life saving skill of learning to swim. My DS is not very coordinated with most sports either, can't hit the balls well, catch well, etc. Even though we practiced, he just really seems to be lacking in hand/eye coordination. He enjoyed it while he was little but as he got older and the leagues got more competitive he quickly realized he wasn't as good as the other kids and to avoid being picked on didn't continue on witht those sports. The older he gets though the more he seems to be able to search up a good match for his physical ability.

My 11 year old son was never much of a kinesthetic learner. I remember someone telling me that all kids are kinesthetic learners in kindergarten even though I had just told her that my son was not because my son and I had done an online learning style quiz and if I remember correctly, his learning style was 48% auditory, 48% visual and only 4% kinesthetic. He never did things the way the books said he was supposed to do it. He read at 2, preferred talking to adults and older kids and his friends were 3 and 4 years older,

He was slow to get his body to do what he wanted it to do. He once told me that it seemed like all the other kids' bodies were like race cars and his was more like a Model T. He had low muscle tone and got tired faster than other kids but he had to dance to be part of his musical theater group, so since age 4 he has had to dance even though it was much harder to learn the dances than lines or lyrics.

I am so glad he stayed with this group because he is the only child at home, is homeschooled, and there are no kids living close to us. We had a musical theater rehearsal at our house a few days ago and we had 15 kids here. I just love these kids. They are all smart and funny and just great kids. These are the kids I want my son to be around, not the football players in our small town that I have seen and listened to. Bullying is common at our school. Teachers look the other way, especially when the bully is a good football player.

The musical theater kids talk to each other daily online on facebook. My son is okay with only online friends during most of the week. We do allow video games. The new musical theater director and her boyfriend play some of the same games he likes. We also have Wii Sports, Dance, Dance Revolusion and Guitar Hero that have helped a lot with his coordination and timing. I don't think coordination issues are noticeable anymore. I watched videos of his last performances and I don't think anyone seeing him for the first time would notice any coordination difficulties. He always learned the dances in time for performances, it just wasn't as easy for him as most of the other kids.

My son still can't swim. He was very close to being able to swim last year but it is hard to find private lessons even at the YMCA in the city about 30 miles away.

Children with AS typically have it with all people, but there is a large range on the spectrum. Some do get along better and communicate better with adults, but then one has to wonder whether that has to do with the gifted part as they often relate better. My DS5 is PG and he relates much better with adults and children older or younger. He is immature with younger kids usually but still gets along with them and likes to run around with them...with older kids he likes to talk about stuff and play games. About the literal aspect, some gifted people are quite literal. My DS is very literal (example: DS asked DH about what 'single file' meant. DH responded "how long have you been in school now?" and DS replied "116 days...why?"). He does things like that a lot, but he loves word play, and jokes, and he often gets all that and thinks it's hilarious. Anyhow, there is a lot of room for interpretation.

About the sports and coordination, DS5 just started Tee ball this year. He has only had 2 practices and seems pretty in the middle of the other kids in terms of ability. DS seems to enjoy tee ball so far but the last lesson was goofing off a lot with some of the other kids and playing around. I am hopeful that as he learns the games this will get better. We will see. He would love stuff like golf and more independent sports, but I really do think it is good to have him try things that may be more challenging and that he won't automatically excel at. This is new territory for him and he can learn some great skills with teamwork and working at things together. He needs to learn some of those skills. But swimming has never worked for him. Way to anxious about going under. He LOVES going in the pool, but holds onto the side or walks out when we are at the lake. We have a pool so we still try lessons each year, but they are often quite unsuccessful. We will keep trying.