Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Extrovert or Introvert

Our gifted co-ordinator said something which piqued my interest. She said that extroverts are rare among the PG crowd. I don't think she meant it in a positive light (!), like, the social focus may take away from his intensity to learn. It has absolutely no bearing on how delightful my son is of course (this coming from the mother ). But I'm curious about how other PG kids are out there.

DS7 is leaning towards being an extrovert. He's very sociable, except that he can't seem to find friends in school. He's got 2 categories of friends - "physical activity" friends whom he enjoys running around with, and "talking friends" whom he says he can find some topic of interest, and they're usually older. School friends (same age) don't fall into either category because he can't find anything to say to them, and there's not much time to play in school. He's also very firm in his opinions; DH and I can change it around the edges, but generally when he's made up his mind about something, he stands firm. I guess it makes sense to do a Briggs Myers at some point, just for the fun of it.

How are the personalities of your kids like?

My daughter is quite extroverted, but she is so young that I am not sure where she falls on the gifted continuum. She is gregarious, intense, confident, and likes to take a leadership position. She is also very emotional, very talkative, and very excitable. She is three though so that may change a bit with time...

I would categorize both my kids as extroverts. My DD5, more so than my son. When my daughter was younger she was very quiet and sensitive. She's still very sensitive in some situations. But she's very social with everyone. My DS9 often has older kids over and my 5 year old can be heard ordering them around. She's the only neighborhood 5 year old at all allowed to hang and contribute to this little group of kids.

My son gets a little more buried in his projects, but would still prefer a social outing to doing school work any day of the week.

My DD7 is an introvert. She likes being social, so she frequently needs down time.
DS3....TBD, he is different everyday.

I think "rare" would be a little off. There are several extroverts in my DDs gifted cluster class.

D14 is definitely an introvert (and falls in the exceptionally gifted range per her scores).

I'm wondering if kids change their disposition.

Thinking through, my son was an introvert through 6. I offered to have more than one playdate a week when we were homeschooling, but he didn't want it. And yes, he was always so quiet after each playdate. At the time, he said he needed to be alone because he had projects that they wouldn't be interested in.

This year, entry into a big school seems to have changed him. He's very interested in playing with kids, but mainly for active games. He's actually reading less, and in fact, reading books that are the level of what his school mates are interested in (Geronimo Stilton) rather than what he used to read. He's stopped a lot of his own interests too, like little experiments he used to carry out around the house.

While the social angle is good, I'm a bit distressed that he thinks he has to change himself to get more friends. I'll try to encourage him towards his old interests, but am confused by all that is going on.

blob, he could just be maturing and becoming more comfortable with people outside his family. Keep on offering what you always have, he'll figure out what he likes.

My DS8 is en extrovert unless he is with children. Last night we were waiting for a table at a restaurant and a family with a baby and a young daughter sat next to us. My son struck up a conversation with the father and completely ignored the young girl. Earlier in the day we noticed him talking to a boy about his age and when I looked at DH, we both had the same look of surprise on our face. It is almost like kids don't even cross his radar. I am constantly prompting him to say goodbye to the kids around him who are all saying goodbye to him.

my understanding about what an extrovert is (a person who gets energy from being around people) an introvert (is drained of energy by being around people)

Going by that logic DD7 is an extrovert and DD5 is an introvert. This is not saying either is shy (far from that) but it seems like dd7 feeds off of being around people even if she isn't the center of what's going on, and the reverse for dd5 she's more fragle and needs rest after being around alot of people.

I was told that extraverts are more prone to being shy than introverts since extraverts are more wrapped up in others and therefore more likely to be aware of how they are appearing in social groups.

I see what you guys are saying about where the energy comes from. Perhaps this is why DS needs to chill and just be alone after school each day.

He's defintely more active in running around and playing these days . I think the last one year of OT has helped him tremendously with his gross motor skills, so he definitely has more confidence here. Probably as a result, the social possiblities are changing for him.

DS5 is a PG kid and I would say that he is definitely more extroverted, when he is around others that have anything in common with him it all (whether it is running around, playing games, etc.) I have never really seen him be shy that I can think of, and he enjoys being around people a lot. That being said, he also will enjoy going off by himself and reading and going on the computer...but doesn't do that is much when there are people around as he typically spends time with them.

DS is an extrovert- really comes alive and glows when people are around.
I am a gifted extrovert too- extremely extroverted- when I am in a room of people- at a party for instance, I feel a "buzz" in the air and really enjoy socializing. I can be the life of the party in a positive way!
I married an introvert and we balance each other out very well! He reminds me of how nice it can be to enjoy solitude and introspection, and I draw him out of his shell

The whole introvert/extrovert thing is about the energy. Most people find me very outgoing, never met a stranger, will make anyone feel comfortable but I am a major introvert. I leave social situations or work totally wiped out. I must occasionally even take time away from my son to recharge. By appearance I am gregarious outwardly and completly shy inward. I have done all the different scales and assessments and they all say the same introvert who is emotional.

I am with you Vicam. I am not shy at all but I am usually the first to bail on a party and while I love company I love to see them leave also. This winter was hard because DH was out of work. We get along great but the strain of never being alone was killing me! :-)

Of my four kids I have two introverts and two extraverts all MG to HG. I will say though that my extraverts are definitely more skilled socially as well and very much so.

After socializing, I definitely need downtime to recharge and think DDs are similar. One DD is a lot more social but still prefers staying home to going out.

My daughter, though not labeled yet as gifted...is an extreme extrovert. She is very gregarious, has a wonderful sense of humor and is indeed exciteable. She has a high energy level and will just walk up to a kid and take their hand to go play.

She will talk to almost any adult however thankfully she does have some discriminatory behaviors which is good with strangers. I was concerned about that for a while. She seems to have an innate feel for who is "ok" and who isn't...I was the same as a kid.

She does much better with older children and adults...she tends to fight with kids her own age.