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    Joined: Oct 2006
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    stbmom Offline OP
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    I hope this question makes sense - here goes:
    Has anyone ever felt their child "thougth" they were older than they actually were? My son seems to flock to "older" kids. When I picked him up from preschool the other day he had to go over to the playground area and look through the fence at the "older" kids (they are in the pre-K program). They ran over to see him and tried to play with him (through the fence) and he was thrilled. He is miserable around kids his own age and only thrives when there are kids at least six month older than he is around. We even had to get him moved up a room at our church Sunday school - he cried the whole 2 hours he was with the kids his age. The Sunday he moved up he did the usual "seperation anxiety" cry of 2 minutes and was fine the rest of the time.
    Do you think he could possibly perceive himself to be a "big kid"?
    I mean, we probably haven't helped the situation. As long as toys have no small parts we let him play with whatever he wants. My dh had him going down Little Tykes slides at 6 months old (and he loved ever minute of it). I just wonder how he sees himself compared to other kids his age.
    Any thoughts?

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    stbmom -
    please don't blame yourself or DH for following your child's lead in interests. If a kid enjoys an activity, and it's not harmful, then they are "old enough" no matter what the books say!

    I don't know if your son percieves himself as a big kid, or just as a human, and wants to be doing what the "interesting" humans are doing. If the "interesting" humans just happen to be older, well.....that the child you got!

    It sounds like you have intuitivly found ways to meet your child's needs. The whole point of "age related expectations" is that they work for many, but not all, people. It's so easy to forget this. But it's still true.

    Here's a thought experiment that helps me hold my ground under critisicm:

    What if school's were set up by height rather than by age? It would have certian advantages - sports,school pictures and assemblies, and some dissadvantages - but the dissadvantages would be the same as the current system, magnified for a few kids (gifted and short) and lessened for other kids (gifted and tall) The point is that the dissadvantages would be similar in kind - age, like height is a roughtly good, but far from perfect, guide to learning readiness!

    I do think it's normal for gifted kids to go through some of same stages that NT (regular) kids go through at an earlier age. At age 9, "mental puberty" seemed to be setting in for my son. I couldn't believe it, yet, soon after the talk, came the smells and the peach fuzz. The physical changes are still subtle, but enough to assure me that I'm not loosing my mind. I think there is a kind of "mental puberty" that is quite independent of physical development, but just occurs when the worldview reachs a certian size and sophistication, usually blamed on changing hormones, perhaps wrongly.

    ((Hugs))
    Trinity


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    Of course you could test your theory by showing pictures of various age babies and asking DS which one is most like himself and why. ((wink))
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    stbmom Offline OP
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    Well - he kind of looks older than the kids his age - in the mouth anyway smile
    The kid has all but his two year molars! 16 teeth before his first birthday!!

    Trinity you are the best - thanks!!

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    I think this is a very funny thread. My DS almost 4 was reading his new book to the boy next store who is 9. He loves playing with him and actually knows more words and reads more fluently. It really scares me sometimes.... I think (hope) he will find his own peers. He is very short for his age so it will be hard for him to keep up physically, but he's determined! I'm so proud of him!

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    I think this is a very funny thread. My DS almost 4 was reading his new book to the boy next store who is 9. He loves playing with him and actually knows more words and reads more fluently. It really scares me sometimes.... I think (hope) he will find his own peers. He is very short for his age so it will be hard for him to keep up physically, but he's determined! I'm so proud of him!


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