Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Creating a "good" environment at home

Hi Everyone,

I'm new to this forum but there seems to be lots of great ideas here so I thought I'd jump in right away with a question. I hope it's not too general!

I've got 2 children, a preschooler and a toddler. We are planning on home education for both the children, so it hasn't been necessary to test them or anything like that, but both display signs of being gifted - that's one of the reasons we are home educating!

However, I'm having trouble figuring out a way to keep up with their needs. The oldest, in particular is very aware of the environment and enjoys lots of novelty. My youngest is - of course - into everything. Some days I feel like I'm always being reactive instead of proactive IYKWIM.

I feel like the solution is in the environment - but have no idea about the nuts and bolts of implementing something that will work for everyone. So my question is:

How do you structure your home so that you can meet the needs of your children without running yourself ragged?

It's probably a lot harder with two, and one of them just a toddler.

I don't feel the least bit ragged (or, at least, not on DD's account). Basically, we've organized her room so that she's got easy access to books, pretend toys, art supplies, building toys, and puzzles. She does very well occupying herself for the most part. But then, she's the sort of kid who can amuse herself for hours with nothing but a couple of pine cones and her own imagination.

That would be great no5no5. My oldest is actually quite extroverted and has a low frustration tolerance. (He has since he was a baby and he screamed for a month straight because he knew he wanted to crawl but he just couldn't make his body obey!) They kind of combine to make him quite full-on.

I don't think it gets easier as they get older. Here is GS10's schedule for this week:
Sunday morning church.
Sunday evening - 5 to 8 - Destination Imagination. He missed Scouts & evening church this week due to DI.
Monday after school - DI, then music lesson
Tuesday - Foreign language after school until 4:45, 7pm concert at the middle school & signup for band
Wednesday - Aerodynamics meeting 3-4:30, then DI 5-8
Thursday - catch up on reading.
Friday - DI 5-8
Saturday - DI competition all day
Sunday - in the afternoon we'll go to a maple syrup festival, then scouts, church in a.m. & choir practice in evening.

DI is rapidly coming to a close this year, but he also has 4H & a junior cattleman program ramping up. He'll cross over to Boy Scouts in 2 weeks and meet every week after that. And his first campout as a Boy Scout is the last of this month. He'll need more swim practice this summer because he needs that to start working towards his Eagle Scout rank.

That wasn't any consolation or help, was it? Sorry, this is the first break since lunch time for me, and I've got to get up in 8 hours to start this all over again. Enjoy each stage as much as you can, you only have that for too short of a time.

DD is also very intense, but fortunately not too much of an extrovert. When she was younger, before her imagination really kicked in, she did need constant interaction. Now, at 4, she still gets overwhelmed if she plays with other kids for more than a couple of hours once or twice a week. I do expect that to change, and probably soon. But I don't expect my role or our home environment to change much. Fortunately we are going to be moving to a child-dense area in the next few months, and she'll probably sign up for a few activities this summer or fall.

I'm not sure if this is what you were asking or not, but I have always like the idea of getting out of the house and exploring a lot of different places, but trying to do it in a relaxed way when we are there. So, for instance, a trip to the zoo but with no particular agenda; a trip to the science center that includes the omnimax movie or the special exhibit but then no other agenda; a trip to the children's museum where they get to try out whatever they want and either run from activity to activity or just linger at one or two. We also like activities like hiking, walking, biking, playing in the snow, playing in the sand, etc., with no time table or goals when possible. My kids love to play outside endlessly. Swimming and gymnastics are fun, as are other sports as long as they aren't too competitive. So, basically, anything that seems fun. I always have liked to have some structure to our days, but with a lot of flexibility within the structure. KWIM? And, if you follow the kids' leads, you can't go wrong. BTW: there are times when it is good to have an agenda, like when you want to investigate a particular topic that you're interested in.

If you're asking about setting up the house, I have to admit we have a LOT of stuff: puzzles, marble mazes, building materials of all sorts, tons of recylables to create with, art supplies, baking materials, a million books in places throughout the house, some computer games, balls, bikes, scooters, board games, card games, etc. I do try to have a place for everything and try to keep the house relatively orderly, but sometimes they like to play with three things at once or we have to leave or go to sleep in the middle of something and I'm okay with temporary mess as well. I encourage the kids to pick up, and require it on occasion, but I'm not a fanatic and there is a difference between what is messy for an adult and what is messy for kids. Still, it's important for kids to learn to take responsibility both for their things and for the house.

Sleep is hugely important, I think, in creating a "good" environment at home. I'm a big believer in a regular, predictable bedtime with a predictable routine to go with it.

Of course, as the kids get older and get involved in more outside activities your schedule gets crazier, but if you can somehow manage to stick to as many of your eating, sleeping, and family time routines, I think that helps.

Is this what you were asking?

Oh, I forgot to say that we incorporate chores as well. We don't do it exactly like most people I've heard about, where each person is assigned a particular chore. But, we are all expected to do our share. The kids know they have to sort and put their clothes in the laundry baskets (we have only three, in our closet: one for darks, one for lights, one for reds/yellows/purples, etc.). They know that they have to take their dishes into the sink. But everything else they do just because I ask at the time. If I'm unloading the dishwasher, I ask one of them to put away the silverware. If I'm doing laundry I'll ask one of them to help. If it's 5:00 and the dog is begging for his dinner, I'll ask the nearest kid to feed him. So, what we consider a "good" environment at home includes everyone doing their share according to their abilities.

Jeesh, I write a lot!

Hi,

Welcome.

I have a DS 2.8 and he runs two adults ragged unless he's ill. He's been intense and in need of novelty since the first weeks and it has gotten steadily easier as he does entertain himself more, but it's still a challenge. It's hard to imagine two of them. Spending large parts of most days out of the house seems to be necessary for us. For example we found a homeschooler's school that allows toddler and up kids to attend their field trips if a parent accompanies, we go to library story hours, playgroup, errands, a few hours of babysitting, etc. We're looking forward to preschool for next year not for academic learning but just for an experience of independence in social interactions, ie learning to manage socially without a parent present. Plus it will be novel, at least for a short while, and novelty seems to do for his brain what a good book does for mine.

Home is just well stocked with more stuff than I thought I'd ever buy. The stuff seems interesting to DS when he has been away from it for a bit. I also have lots of games or books etc that are way beyond age level such as chess, scrabble, adult level picture books tied to his interests, real model kits, etc that I am okay with getting destroyed, all bought used to be used up during this stage of life. Surprisingly most things so far pretty much intact. We try to follow a put it away before getting something else out rule but it's more of a guideline. Much of it goes in mixed 18 gallon open bins: playdoh bin with ziploc bags full of old playdoh, plastic toys bins, books bins, puzzles bins, paper and crayons bin, etc.

When he was a younger toddler I had to search far and wide for a table low enough that he could actually use it. Traditional children's tables (and chairs) seem to generally be too tall for toddlers, which isn't fair at all. Tables made for daycares are great but I never found one reasonably priced. I ended up with little plastic step stools rather than chairs as it was the only thing that didn't just tip right over. The table ended up being a cheapo large plastic coffee table from goodwill. Worked out really well.

So in a nutshell my approach to keeping the home environment interesting and stimulating (and somewhat organized) is to have a lot of bins and go out a lot.

Polly

The dishes is a good idea. It lasted for a little while with mine; and he still helps with it if he wants me to come help him with something and wants me to go more quickly.

Also, check to see if there are any Gymboree locations around where you're moving. That's how I met most of my DS's (and my) friends. They have art and music classes at most. Any other art of music classes for kids are good places to find other playmates for your kids as well...oh, or swim or gymnastic/tumbling classes.

My DS always liked blocks, puzzles, puzzles, puzzles (the puzzles just increased in size as he got older, and drawing. Everything sat out (mostly) sorted in baskets; so he could see them, but I could keep a bit of my organizational sanity. We have tons of books as well. I never worried about torn pages, especially if I got books at garage sales. My child actually never tore a page though. Lots of bitten corners on the cardboard ones though from teething.:) We got him a Leapster when he was 3 to help with his writing (Petpals has a writing game) and other fun/learning things. It was also a good way for him to retreat into something by himself for somewhat of a downtime. All the cartridges are in one baggy. Whenever I could consolidate things into a plastic bin or basket, I did. He loves his Legos (not duplos). Lots of wheels for mine is very important. He loves to build trucks, tractors, race cars, trailers, rv's, trains,.... All the Legos are in one big plastic see-through container. My DS always liked pulling things around behind him. So the simplest toys like this were the best. He has always been great at self-entertaining; although he was an extremely needy infant.

I also got a bag of small musical instruments that he loved to play marching band with, where your toddler could now join in. They are kept in the bag when not in use; but can be easily dumped out. Another big hit, when my DS was a toddler were these Dora and Backyardigan book/musical players. They had these little plastic cds that he marched around the house with replaying the music over and over. Mommy and Daddy joining in made it last forever.

We are now outside constantly; and the only thing I make sure that is scheduled is the time for eating - all mealtimes have to be held to a fairly strict schedule or we get major crankies...including snacktimes! We go to the park all the time. Around here, toddlers and preschoolers go in the mornings around 10am before the kids get out of school. Zoo trips are a huge hit for my friends with toddlers and preschoolers as well. We made a point to get season passes that don't include Dad (to save money); and then on the odd occasion that he can come, we pay for him separately.

I think that an end of the day clean-up worked out best when he was a toddler; but as a preK now, he knows to clean up between activities. We all share the house; and we can't run around and play safely with stuff laying everywhere. Hope this helps a little.:)

One more thing, I just saw someone else's post about a table. I have this step2 table.: http://www.walmart.com/ip/Step2-LifeStyle-Folding-Table-Chairs-Yellow/4232151 It is the best thing I ever bought for him as far as a place to write, draw, do crafts, eat, paint. I like the edge on the side to somewhat hold things on the table. SO easy to clean and can be put away; although he has breakfast, lunch and dinner on it; so we don't.

Boxes, building toys (duplo, blocks, etc...) and art supplies. BOOKS. BOOKS. BOOKS! Boxes and more boxes. Playdough.

Did I mention boxes?

I also have a preschooler and a toddler both highly extroverted and intense so yes, I can get run ragged and am still trying to figure out ways to keep them both happy since I am not able to have art supplies, small toys, puzzles, etc. where the younger sib can reach them. Both girls require and demand tons of adult interaction from me all day long and so days in the house can get long so we go to the library, storytimes, playplaces etc. My DD3.9 goes to preschool twice a week mostly just for a change of pace and to learn some social skills. I am not that concerned with teaching her directly at this age. We read a ton and talk a ton and if she has an interest, we pursue it. It is not easy with their activity levels and intensity levels, but I am assuming it will get better as they get older and can play on their own more etc.

Thanks, there is lots of great ideas there!

It's quite reassuring to hear suggestions for many of the things that we are already doing, it makes me feel like I'm not just making it up. Playdough, books, duplo and are big hits here. We haven't been into puzzles or CDs much but it might be worth trying those again. I'm not game to try lego right now with my toddler, although my preschooler would probably love them.

We can't be late for meals or bedtime either, mnmom23.

We do go out often, I love going somewhere without too much of an agenda. I am starting to find that more difficult as my toddler, who still needs day naps, is finding it hard to fall asleep out and about.

One thing that does concern me about having lots of things is that I worry that more things will lead to more mess and then to unsettled behavior (and then I think it's not enough and get more.)I do want home to feel peaceful.

What about Lego Duplos since they're bigger?


My kids really needed to nap at home as well. It's trickier if they are still taking morning naps. But there are things you can still do. Going places in the early morning, like before 10:00, means fewer people. We also tended to fit in short trips after the morning nap but before lunch and afternoon naps. Often we'd, say, go to the park, have a picnic, and then hurry home just in time for afternoon naps. It can be easier if they fall asleep in the car and will let you transfer them to their beds, but one of my kids wouldn't let me do that so I'd either let them nap in their carseat if they fell asleep on the way home or I'd do everything in my power to keep them awake until we made it home. For some reason, we always tended to go out and about before afternoon naps but then hung around the house doing things in the afternoon and early evenings. It was our routine and it saved my sanity!

Here is how I keep our playroom reasonable. Have a system where you switch out the toys. Limit what is out to a reasonable amount to manage and enough variety. Have a box/basket for each playset so everything has its place. We don't mix playsets because then it gets too complicated. Teach kids to pick up before the go on to another activity. Before leaving the house try to pick up, before bed try to pick up. We limit the toys to the playroom that way there is less pickup. The kids only have a small basket of stuffed animals in their bedroom. We keep bedrooms for sleeping, and quiet time. Hope this is helpful.

TwinkleToes - Yep, that sounds like my house!

I love the idea of rotating toys, onthegomom. We have a small house and only one living space. We store toys in the bedroom, but my extrovert won't play in there by himself anyway! How do you organize that. Do you do it weekly or fortnightly, an how do you store the toys not being used?

We also have been influenced by the Montessori idea of trying to have things where they can help themselves, although that did go out the window a bit with the toddler's walking! I think maybe a focus on that might really help. As long as I can stop the toddler from spreading everything from one end of the house to the other. Any ideas on that?

Ok, I have to raise my hand too! I have two little girls that are a HANDFUL! A preschooler (3.75) and a toddler (16 mo). I do get worn out because they both require a lot of interaction. I think my toddler is worse now!

Some things we do have (which have been mentioned throughout this thread): My DD1 has her own book basket (out of DD2's reach) and DD2 has her own book box. I rotate the books for each girl. I have coloring books and crayons out and art supplies accessible. I keep a puzzle sitting out for my DD2.

We do home school in a very relaxed, child-led way. I asked my DD1 what she wants to learn about and she said "math, science and arts". I do use curriculum because it's just easier and time saving for me than piecing stuff together. We are going through Sonlight Science K and DD is LOVING it! She is also working through Horizons K math (calling it "baby math") so I just ordered Miquon to try. She is a workbook lover! For "arts", she means craft projects.

Now that the weather is starting to break, we are able to get out for more walks and such. We live in the super country so going to things like the zoo or museum is a "day trip".

We read aloud A LOT! I think that is one thing that wears me out. My 16 month old can sit for at least a half an hour while I read to her.

They also help me pick up and do stuff around the house. I also admit that I use the TV at times. When I really need to get something done, I turn on Dora because my DD2 can sit and watch and listen and interact with Dora during the whole show!

Even though my DD1 doesn't nap, they both go in for mandatory "quiet time". Always at 1pm. We do run on a "schedule" meaning we eat at the same time, have quiet time at the same time, etc.

Oooh! I like the idea of locking top containers - that's one of those "Why didn't I think of that" things! Thanks Cricket3.

We also use the playpen for the older child to work in. The extroverted part of them still feels involved in the family if they are there.

MamaJA, my two are almost precisely the same age and ITA, the toddler is harder now than as a baby. We have had to have routine for the same reason, although the toddler does still nap, it's often not at a convienent time. The TV is the lesser of two evils sometimes. What do you do with your toddler while you are doing workbooks with your preschooler? I can sometimes get my toddler to colour next to us or something, but I'm always looking for new ideas that might help. Do you do anything for your 16 m.o.? We are influenced by Montessori, so I'd like to do more with him, but my preschooler has a more 'out there' personality and it can be hard to get one-to-one time with the toddler too. I'd love to swap any ideas!

just stumbled on this thread.
Im suppose to create the same thread

I think the best way to deal with home schooling is by incorporating a hobby for the children. Children learn faster if they are interested in something. Why not incorporate games why learning Math or science.

Athough they are home schooling, it's important to teach them how to socialize. After the lessons, allow them to play with other children in the neighborhood, go to parks, zoos, and church.

I have sacraficed my front entry closet for toy usage. I have plastic bins with lables. I have just 2 kids so I keep their stuff on their own side of the closet. It's difficult for the kids to get much out from this closet. When they want something out we try to put something away. I limit what I keep by the amount of space we have to store. When we get something new something needs to go. I rotate new toys into the playroom about every three months now. My kids are 7 & 9. When they were younger and playing with everthing more I did this monthly. When my kids stare at the same stuff too long it becomes boring. If there are things they are frequeltly playing with I would leave that out.

I tell the kids the toys are for the playroom unless there is a need for an exception. When they have a playmate they might need more space and I divide the kids up. This is a process and takes time. I'm still telling my kids to take toys out of the kitchen. I ty to say it sweetly so it's not a battle. I often help with a bigger pick up because my kids still get overwhelmed when it's alot. Our playroom does get messy sometimes but I feel like this should be expected they are kids. They should be more focused on playing not organizing

Oh dear! Sorry, I didn't see your response - if it's not in the "recent posts" to the right, I usually lose posts!

I'll type back later as we are heading out to church in a few minutes....

Sent you a PM!

Thanks, onthegomom that gives me plenty to think about. I like the idea of storage limiting how many things you can have. Sounds like a good idea for me too. LOL

I've lost some focus on what is capable at different ages but here is some ideas.

Give your child a pan of dried beans or rice and a few plastic container. A little car to drive thru the rice is fun or little plastic dinosaurs to dig up.

Soapy water in the sink with some containers for pouring. Have extra towels around the sink.

Thanks, onthegomom!