Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy how to set and meet advocacy meeting agenda

Advocacy at school has been hard. There seems to be lots of circling around trying to understand each other. The principal is also friendly and chatty as is my husband. Meetings time is wasted when the teacher shows me DS's school work I see everyday. Questions don't get anwsered.

I need to learn how to set and meet advocacy meeting agenda and be more productive. Can anyone offer ideas to learn this.

If I were you, I would prepare for it as if you would be attending or in charge of a meeting at work. Prepare handouts, an outline, etc. of points you plan to discuss to keep the discussion on target. Why not consider a power point presentation. that way, as each slide is shown, you will stick to the planned agenda and not get off track and end up thinking afterwards "Oh shoot! i meant to say this...." Prepare what you plan to discuss ahead of time. Not only will it keep your thoughts straight but it will present a professional, business like approach to a solution.

Personally, I think if I were to have shown up at a meeting with an agenda for everyone and a powerpoint presentation, it would have freaked everyone out. That being said, I do like the idea of you preparing handouts of all your points and evidence, with an outline on the cover page. That way, you will get organized in your mind before the meeting and can lay it out in a logical sequence that the school officials will understand, and then the school officials will have something concrete to take with them after the meeting to review or to look at should you miss any points.

I agree with the first part of this - plan as though for a meeting at work, with written notes you can refer to and a definite idea of what needs to be covered. However, there's a huge difference between planning as though for a work meeting you're attending, and planning for one you're running, and trying to run a meeting that isn't yours to run can cause offence. For this reason I definitely disagree with the idea of turning up with powerpoint presentation. Unless it's prearranged with whoever is actually in charge of the meeting (the principal in this case, presumably) that's rude, and very off-putting. Now, preparing a powerpoint presentation just as a thought experiment in how you *would* give one *if* you were going to, maybe even using a printout of the slides as an aide memoir, that might be useful.

It sounds as though this is a case where the chief problem is that you have to effectively run the meeting, i.e. make sure it covers everything and doesn't get side-tracked, while not sitting in the seat of the person who should be running it, and not putting that person's nose out of joint by obviously doing their job... Not such an unfamiliar position for many people, I'm sure! Concretely, I think the no-brainer is to have a concise sheet of notes for your own reference, listing points to be covered and key things you want to remember to say, and actually sit there with a pencil ticking things off and checking everything's covered. You can even say, "I just want to make sure I don't get home and think "oh I should have said"". A more delicate issue is whether to have something in writing to hand out to other participants. I would tend not to unless there is concrete new information you want to make sure they all have. A compromise might be that if you have, for example, written a good letter to the principal that the others present may or may not have seen, you might want to take copies of that to hand out. That avoids doubt about whether you're happy for everyone to see it, and might serve as a reminder too.

Don't be afraid to be a bit broken-record. If you raise an important point and discussion veers off, raise it again; you can do it nicely, "I just want to be sure we're clear what the plan is about ..." or whatever.

Also, a good tactic for afterwards can be to send a letter thanking those present for the meeting, and summarising in the letter your understanding of what was agreed. (Unless the principal is going to do it - although in our case that led to a comical situation in which we thought the head had agreed to write and summarise, it didn't happen, so eventually we did so, and the result was that the head treated that as a trigger for another meeting!)

Good luck...

it's not rude if you are the one who requested the meeting and are trying to back what you need to say up with research. You are assuming that the principal arranged the meeting whereas , I was assuming it was the parents. Yes, if the principal was running the meeting, certainly offense would be taken if you showed up with that type of material. The type of material being presented is what would dictate what type of material should be provided.

I second the sending a thank you letter.

It might be useful to request the meeting by email or letter (I would probably do email). Then you can list in the email exactly what you would like to cover. People will know ahead of time what to expect. Everyone probably will bring a copy of the email with them to the meeting.

Also, try to enlist your DH, who you say is chatty and part of the problem. If he knows how important it is to you to stay on task during the short amount of time you have, then maybe he will help out.

I agree with a follow-up thank you, listing what was discussed/decided/planned. Good luck!

If you are uncomfortable providing any sort of outline or anything, just make notes for yourself to keep you on track. Sometimes under pressure it's hard to remember what you wanted to cover or even if the topic goes off track for a while you can look at your notes to remind yourself what things you planned to cover.

I think that if you give too much information on what you intend to cover you may be going in to fight a battle (particularly if the administration already has their set feelings on things) with negative feelings and attitudes from the receiving party before your points can be made. I think it would be best to provide what you plan to have a meeting regarding without going into too much detail until the actual meeting. I know particularly with private schools or parochial schools, that are not required to abide by the state laws regarding gifted education etc (at least in my state), you may have to work a little harder to fight your battle as they really don't need to do anything for you (sadly).

When we had our 'big' meeting I requested that everyone who could possibly need to be there, be there together. I had a folder. I had my list of goals on the front, in simplest terms. In the folder I had any and all supporting documentation or paperwork I might need and knew exactly where it was. When the teacher support person mentioned a prior report card incorrectly I had it in the folder to support my stance. When they discussed a portion of IDEA, and how it didn't pertain to GT kids, I had the supporting summaries saying that it did. So in that sense I think you want to have all your ducks in a row so you can keep yourself on track and support your views. I think anything else would be considered offensive.

My biggest recommendation would be do determine where your line is. What do you really want to have happen? What is a reasonable compromise in your view? What are your plans if they aren't willing to work with you? It also helps to have something positive to say about what the school/teachers have done that is working. Thank you letters are definately needed in my view, especialy when dealing with people that technically don't 'have' to do anything according to the laws.

If you have had repeated meetings in which nothing happens and the months keep going by, I believe they are stalling you. I'm familiar with this technique because it has been used on me. They are counting on you being polite, smiling and sending that nice thank you note afterwards. In the meantime, they do nothing.

I agree with the advice to go in knowing what you want. Maybe read a book on negotiation to prepare for the meeting. Take notes at the meeting and send an email afterward with your notes. Involve your district and state gifted coordinators in the discussion. Let them know you will escalate if needed. One mom I know gave a deadline and poof the issue was resolved on the day of the deadline.

I would not recommend coming into a meeting with written handouts etc. In our case, the school ran the meeting and I had to work really hard to discuss the topics that were important to me. Sometimes teachers and administration can give you the best compliments about your child which made me believe that they understood my situation. Instead, they wanted to start with the positives and then tell me reasons why they wouldn't consider my request.

Bring all your data: tests, recommendations from adults in you child's life, portfolio type items (something the teachers may not know about them)and any literature you can quote with little searching.

If math is your main goal, talk about that. If you suggest subject acceleration, maybe offer a trial of a month after which everyone can have another meeting.

Get ready to answer their concerns: social issues, logistics of a grade skips or subject acceleration, how this affects learning in later grades etc. The more prepared you are to answer these questions, the faster the meeting will go in your direction.

Most important part of the meeting: conclusion. Summarize what your understanding is and see if everyone agrees. For example: "so if I understand correctly, the plan is for DC to attend Mrs. Jones' math class starting next week and we will meet again in a month to see how everything is going?". That way there is no wiggle room for other teachers to talk afterward. They should be able to discuss this in a meeting with you, not later and give you a "verdict".

Jen

This is great! We are just starting to gather ideas and information to help us prepare for our meeting with the school to discuss options.

In Texas, apparently, "It is against the law to offer math enrichment to students before 3rd grade," is what I was told recently. I am searching the web trying to find this law in ink. Since single-subject acceleration is not possible (against the law), we are thinking about pushing for an IEP for DC's. We appreciate any suggestions and experiences you might have.

1. We have been gathering quotes as to why children needed to be challenged. If you have something handy, love to see it!

2. Any key words or phrases to use or to avoid.... For example, rather then using "above-level grade education," many have suggested using "better fit education."

Our goal is to keep DC in school with their peers, but still be challenged in their strong areas (math and reading).

Thanks for some great discussion already!
Mag

Call me a cynic, but were it I, I wouldn't be spending my own time on this - I'd be ever so nicely asking the person who told me that to tell me what law, exactly, says that.

Sounds to me like the person who told you that perhaps was hoping you wouldn't know any different. Perhaps this might be of value to you.

http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/state_policy_texas_10044.aspx

I am a fan of the "best fit" line of argumentation. This allows people to discuss your child in his or her entirety without triggering all the "high IQ" vs. "Hothousing Mom" and so on. Good luck!

Hi ColinsMum, bh14 and aline,
Thanks for the input and the link (thumb up). And next time, I will be a little bit bolder and ask the person on the spot.
Off to some reading now....
Thanks again,
Mag