Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy rant about school/behavior "points"

I agree about perspective, patience and grace but my son was never able to grasp these concepts when he was going through this period and lord knows I tried. His sensitivities to fair play were overwhelming, all consuming. It reached the point that I arranged for him to have counselling. Unfortunately at the time nothing made a difference. It was something that he eventually grew/matured out of.

A fifth-grader getting punished for reading in school is unfortunately a sign of just how poor the education system is, and how inflexibly stupid (or stupidly inflexible) most teachers are. I say this, by the way, as a teacher. I can't stand 90% of the people in my profession.

There is no reason for your daughter to accept any of this. Okay, forgetting to bring a jar to school - fine, that's a mistake, and if other kids were punished for it too, then no issue. But your other examples are clearly times where she is attempting to avoid boredom, the alternative to which would probably be constant acting out. I'd remind the teacher of THAT for a start. In any case, the fault lies with the system that produces the boredom in the first place. For gifted kids, having "perfect behavior" generally means shutting up and not learning, which I don't think any of us here would encourage.

Master of None,

I love your attitude and I concur. I just went to the second grade music concert and saw my DD8 laughing her head off at a goof-off. (Well, they gave her the finger cymbals to play, and she is on her third year of piano :))

Anyway, watching this behavior and given her teacher's comment about "She's very selective in the work she chooses to do", I put DD8 on "lock down." No more Harry Potter books, Harry Potter T-shirt, no more wolf tail. etc. etc. until I hear of a marked improvement in her attitude at school.

DD8 threw a fit, but I remain firm. She is going to have to go with the flow a bit more...and yes, it will be harder for her than your average kid, because she is more impatient and needs more stimulation.

DD's gifted teacher told me this a while back: gifted kids can be almost like special needs kids in the way you have to keep them on track. I'm feeling it tonight I wish I had a better solution, but sometimes you have to do what the crowd is doing.