Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Gifted and Disabled- need some help

I just found this forum today and have been browsing. I'm hoping someone can give some suggestions or even a "hang in there".

My DD12 was tested at age 6 by a private psychologist. She was in a private school at the time, so no testing was offered by the school.

My DD12 was identified as gifted. Since then she has been identified as having ADHD, SPD, Dyslexia. She is also socially immature for her age.

She has always had problems in a traditional school setting- public school being more difficult for her than private. We have been homeschooling for almost 3 years now and for the most part she does well.

My problem is that she is not self-motivated at all. She hates math and thinks she can't do it, but in reality is able to understand the concepts just fine. Its a struggle to get her to complete assignments. Even with things that interest her, she will balk at doing anything "educational". If she smells even a whiff of education in a game, internet site, or book she doesn't want anything to do with it.

I'm a single parent who must work outside the home part-time. I'm not sure how to motivate her to get her schoolwork done. I've tried games, inserting activity breaks, bribes, consequences, appeal to her competitive streak, and other things.

I'm at a loss.

Hang in there! ICan! Being gifted is not at all related to being motivated to learn what other people say one should learn. That doesn't nescessarily mean that we adults stop trying, especially with our 2Elets.

What is her social life like? Does she have friends? How is she with extracurriculars? What do you use for learning materials? What about community college, or a local university? Has she taken the SATs for the talent search? What does she do during the summers? What does she do for fun? Are the SPD issues as severe as they once were? What does she do to try to manage them? Any luck with medications for the ADHD?

Does she have any ambitions at all? Can you bribe her to read, 'What High Schools Don't tell you?' - if she won't you might want to - it gives a good description of how to get inside your child's head and find out what their dreams are.

Does she have any interest in working? What does she do while you are working?

I hope we have a bouy to toss you, at the very least, enjoy the company!
Love and More Love (because sometimes that's what it takes!)
Grinity

Right now her social life is very limited. We recently moved to a smaller town (pop. 414) and she has had trouble getting along with the kids here. She had a good friend where we used to live, and we try to have that girl over a couple times a month for a night or 2. I had just started getting her into activities in the larger town nearby- church youth group, ice skating, and such but my van broke down so we are stuck here for awhile.

Transportation is a major issue in getting her involved in activities. She would love to volunteer at an animal shelter and I found a few that would allow her to come in and help, but it'll have to wait.

When I'm at work she usually sits on the computer and watches anime. If I give her assignments to do when I'm gone they don't get done properly. I usually only work a couple days a week outside the home so I'm not gone all day every day.

Her SPD issues have gotten worse with age. I wonder sometimes if some of it isn't just her being contrary. The ADHD hyperactive stuff has improved drastically. She was on medication several years ago for awhile and it was a horrible experience. We won't do that again.

She has lots of ideas and I encourage her to keep an "idea notebook" to write them down to follow up on later. She isn't really interested though, and keeps thinking that because she is a kid her ideas aren't worth much.

She's mostly interested in playing Nintendo and watching TV all day. (Not that I let her, but if I have to work thats what she does)

I'll read the book you suggested- and might be able to get her to read it. Usually if I read the first few chapters to her she'll go on to finish a book

During the summer she would play with her friend and other neighbor kids and go to the outdoor community pool.

I know that until I can get reliable transportation a lot of options are limited.

Thanks for your support- just having a place to talk about this stuff is helpful

Who made the diagnosis of spd and such. You may want to reaqd the Misdiagnosed Child by Webb. Characxteristics of giftedness often overlap with q variety of disorders.
it is hard as a single mom to keep it all together and feel as if you are doing the right thing. Keep logging on. I am guessing by her 12 designation that she is also a young preteen, so you are entering those interesting years, I teach middle school. GOOD LUCK

Interesting years is right, lol! I'll read that book too. She was diagnosed by a therapist she had when she was younger. I've noticed the overlap mentioned in many books I've read. It just seems really hard to tell whats what.

I am going through this also with CJ8 Everyone seems to think he is 2e but don't know what. We go next week to see if we can get more specific. From my readings he is sensory integration with overexcitabilities. But what do I know Iam just a mom

Good luck- I hope you get some answers . I think we moms know a lot more than professionals give us credit for

My son is verbally gifted but has sensory issues, dyspraxia, dysgraphia and low muscle tone which causes him to lack endurance. He will have to start wearing a very uncomfortable brace soon which will be a challenge with his sensory issues. He also gets migraine headaches any time the weather changes. We seem to always be working around pain or fatigue. We have to take a lot of breaks throughout the day. He is also going through puberty and a big growth spurt and occasionally has mood swings. We homeschool and we manage to work around a lot of this, but it can be challenging.

He tells me that he thinks math is tedious, especially when there is a lot of writing involved. He always got math concepts easily and the month he turned 7 he was tested at a 4th grade level and I think it was because he could do a lot of the math mentally after playing online math games and reading a math dictionary that I bought for me because I was afraid I had forgotten how to do some of the math he needed to learn. As he has gotten older, he has had to write more and the dysgraphia and dyspraxia slows him down. I made a list of all the difficulties he has because of his disability and it is no wonder he would rather do anything to get out of doing math. We have to do it first thing in the morning and his Life of Fred books make it a little more fun. He likes for me to sit next to him sometimes so he can tell me what he is doing and watch him as he does it. His dog usually sits on the other side so he can pet her when he is thinking or needs a break from thinking. Sometimes he will go on to the next chapter without me telling him to do it. That never happened before. So my advice would be to try Life of Fred.

Another thing we do is look for video or computer games to go along with whatever he is studying. We watch shows like Cash Cab and other general knowledge trivia type game shows together. If he doesn't know something, he looks it up. We also watch the history and science channels together, read classic books together, learn together and try to have as much fun as we can without letting the disability get in our way.

I've heard a lot of parents of similar kids (ADHD, sensory integration) observe that their kids behavior gets a lot worse with more TV and video games so that might be something to keep an eye on.

Three things I'm wondering if you've tried:

1. Having a predictable schedule with built in times to exercise and be outside.

2. Getting her involved in situations where she can exercise responsibility independent of you. For example volunteering, pet sitting, developing a friendship with an elderly neighbor, etc.

3. Might it be possible to get her in some kind of learning situations with other people. It doesn't have to be something pricey like private tutoring. It could be someone at church teaching her crochet or whatever.

Thank you all so much! I found some page excerpts from Life of Fred online- so cool! I had my DD12 sit with me and read the excerpts with me- she even laughed a couple times despite her vow to hate it. I'll get the first couple books in a couple weeks and go from there. Is Life of Fred a complete math curriculum? Should I keep going with ALEKS or is Fred enough?