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    Joined: Nov 2007
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    My DS has also been playing "guitar hero" and I think it is wonderful for his visual tracking issues. I told my DH I think it is actually working as therapy for him. (and I have to admit I like playing it too - it's fun!) wink

    We don't have DDR but maybe that would be good for him too.

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    Originally Posted by junior
    Debbie,
    Do you know at what age such programs are appropriate and effective? My son has problems with coordination and balance (his running is very clumsy, cannot catch a ball well, cannot walk the balance beam no matter how low, etc.). I can imagine interventions like that could be helpful in the future if he does not improve. But he is only 3 right now (almost 4) and I don't know if he would cooperate or enjoy such formal programs. Also, at this age, it is not clear whether he has a serious problem or whether it's just his age and personality. He is very cautious and the activities he prefers are naturally sedentary (reading, computer, etc.). I was that way when I was little - I hated gym classes, occasionally got teased for lack of athleticism, could never quite master those childhood activities that come so easily for many like swimming and riding a bike... I guess I'm a natural nerd at heart, but aren't there a lot of "normal" people like that? Nobody, including myself, ever thought there was anything wrong with me. At what point in the spectrum do we decide what is normal and what is problematic? If my son grows to accept that he will never be graceful and feels perfectly happy to give up on becoming a professional athlete, should I still worry about getting him formal help?

    Sorry, I guess I'm starting to ramble. I feel conflicted about how to deal with my son who has many amazing talents but also some unusual deficits. I want to prevent any harm to his self esteem by providing opportunities to correct his problems early on, but I'm also afraid that if I intervene unnecessarily, my efforts might actually do more harm than good. Do you have any thoughts on this?

    Junior

    Junior:
    I think you are wise to keep an eye on things and also being very conscientious about what is "normal" versus a "disorder." My opinion is that old saying "if ain't broke, don't fix it." In this situation, if your son is happy then "it ain't broke."

    Occasionally I see a child whom the doctor is worried about because of motor coordination problems, but the child is happy, the parents are happy and the "problems" don't interfere with the child's daily activities or family activities to any extent that is considered "dysfunctional." In those cases, even if the skill level is below average, I don't do treatment. If, however, the child is not succeeding in kid tasks, the parents are concerned because of social isolation and their child being "left behind" by peers or either parent or child is stressed due to the problems, then I recommend treatment.

    Earlier in this thread I think I shared what a psychologist told me about gifted kids. I have heard others say similar things. Sometimes a child is gifted in some areas and typically developing in others. The asynchronous development can make it *appear* that there is a disorder or the child is below average because the other areas of development are exceptional. But it is important to recognize what is "typical" for a given age. I think it is also important to realize that there are sooooooo many different areas of development and they can't all possibly develop at the same rate across the board. Some kids have spurts of motor skill development while verbal skills sort of idle or vice versa. These differences are especially evident in early childhood. I'm noticing with my own son, almost 7 now, that the asynchronous development is starting to have a smaller gap, just like all the experts say should happen!

    As far as the formal programs, Interactive Metronome is recommended for age 6 and up. I find it difficult to engage a child under the mental age of 8 or with severe attention deficits in the program. But it is the therapist's job to find the motivators! I have read some literature from the IM company that there are therapists using the program in modified form with children as young as 2 years. But I don't have any personal experience with this. Therapeutic Listening can be done in children under 2, but not with the headphones. There are strict criteria for the administering the program for kids that young. Over 2 years you use the headphones, which is much more effective for the auditory stim. I find Therapeutic Listening very effective in the age group of 2 to 7 years. I often use it as a precursor to IM training for older children (6-9 years) when there are significant auditory processing issues or attention issues.

    Sorry, I get pretty long winded on topics I'm passionate about! Hope I managed to answer your questions.

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    My son saw the developmental pediatrician today, but the OT was sick so she wasn't there to test him. We are still getting a referral for OT because the doctor said he does have dyspraxia and dysgraphia along with the hypotonia and vestibular and proprioceptive issues and also some anxiety. She was listening to his heart when she told him he needed to start riding his bicycle and his heart rate went up when she said this. She thinks he should see a counselor about his anxiety. I think anxiety issues will disappear when he feels more in control of his body and doesn't have to worry every time he hears that he has to do crafts in Cub Scouts or 4H or Vacation Bible School or when he has to write or draw something in front of other people or learn a new dance quickly. She thinks I should make him do the crafts and draw in front of other kids even though he is uncomfortable doing it in front of them, and I am not so sure I agree with that.

    My anxiety only gets out of control when I feel like my life is out of control and there is nothing I can do about it. When I have choices and feel like I can do something about whatever it is I am worried about, I don't have this problem.

    The doctor said that even though he has the writing disability and dyspraxia she agreed that he probably would not qualify for an IEP or therapy in our public schools because he is above grade level in everything else.


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    So Lori H,
    How did you feel about the whole experience? Besides po'd that the doc was stressing your kid, that is! Did it give you info, or a needed referal? Did it back up your insticts?

    I have mixed feeling about control and anxiety. My son is in the same "I'm not anxious as long as I'm in control" boat, and I think it's a fine line to walk. If the %of life that needs to be in control is getting smaller, then I think all is well.

    Last year there was a tragedy with one of his classmates, and of course, this '% of the world needing to be in control of' whet way up and is only now starting to come down bit by bit.

    I'm not a big fan of the mental health profession, and feel that with HG/PG kids it's even harder to find someone who 'gets' our kids, but I would reccomend that you continue to look for ways to teach life-skills that decrease anxiety and need for control. I do believe that it's also important to look for ways to slowly, slowly expand the circle of 'comfortable activities.' Perhaps there is one child that he could do one motor activity in front of that is his strongest at and see how that goes. ((Cookie Decorating popped into my mind, - shrug))

    Micro-baby steps have helped us SO much. And of course no one else gets it. So I encourage you to take the advice and break it down into micro-baby steps. We are always looking to give the old, "Balanced Push" ((think one hand pushing from behind and the other placed on the sternum in front so the kid doesn't go flying and fall on their face)) at the child's "Readiness Level." ((I'm guessing that you already are doing this, but perhaps haven't been giving yourself recognition for how important it is.))

    Of course it's really impossible to find a kid's readiness level without 'overchallenging' them a bit once in a while. Big advantage of living with them is that we know them so well!

    ((big giant hug))
    Grinity


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    I am happy that we got an actual diagnosis this time, but I had hoped she might be able to tell us why he is like this when almost everyone else in our family was athletic. But I don't think we will try to get an appointment with the neurologist now because the doctor said we will never know for sure what caused the dyspraxia. She asked if I took any medication when I was pregnant with him and I told her just the headache medication recommended by my doctor. She said it could have had something to do with the forceps delivery, cord around the neck, possible mild birth asphyxia, etc. or it could been something else and she thinks it would be a waste of time and also expensive to do an MRI or anything else the neurologist might order when it doesn't change anything.

    I was surprised that my son's heart rate would go up at the mere mention of learning to ride a bicycle, when speaking or acting and singing in a musical in front of a lot of people, which would send me straight into a full blown panic attack, doesn't. This is so sad. All of the activities that kids are expected to do and are supposed to be fun stress my kid out. On top of being different because of giftedness and not quite fitting in except with other gifted kids because of that, simple childhood activities stress him out.

    The doctor asked him what kind of shows he liked to watch on television. He said he didn't watch very much, but the shows he did watch were usually educational in some way and he also told her liked to listen to the news every day. She told him to stop watching the news and to watch kid shows instead.

    I thought she would tell me to make him practice writing more after I told her that typing worked so well that we sometimes forgot to work on handwriting, but she said I really needed to talk to the OT about that. I don't know how soon we will be able to get in to see the OT.

    When he starts getting OT and making some improvement, then I think I will have him start taking those baby steps in doing things that he is not very good at in front of other kids.

    But I keep thinking about how having to give oral reports in class when I was a kid never helped me get over my fear of speaking in front of a crowd. As an adult, I had choices and chose jobs that didn't require speaking to groups.

    At least when he is an adult I think it will be easy for him to find jobs that don't require coloring, lots of handwriting, bike riding, etc.

    Sometimes I feel really confused about all of this. I am supposed to make him do things that are supposed to be fun for kids but he tells me that everyone else's idea of fun is not his and he doesn't want anything else added to his schedule. He wants to have time to have fun his way.

    So today, for breaks we will get out his Dance, Dance Revolution and his Guitar Hero (he has one, just doesn't use it all the time) and we will just try to have as much fun as we can.








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    LoriH,

    My understanding is that one refers to special ed (and, miraculously, GT is under special ed in NM) when there appears to be a significant discrepancy between expectations and behavior. A very gifted child with OT issues seems to be precisely that! Do check in with the schools to see if you can get OT services!

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    Unfortunately, the state I live in--Oklahoma--does not require that OT be given, no matter what the disability, if the child is not failing in some subject as a result of the disability. Because my son's reading, comprehension, spelling, math, and everything they test is above grade level for his age he would not qualify. Because my child, like a lot of twice exceptional children, is good at compensating for some of his disabilities he would not only not qualify for services, he would most likely not be allowed to do the above grade level work he is doing at home. He just told me that one of the things he told the doctor was that he felt good about himself even though he has some physical problems because he knows that he would surpass most of the kids his age mentally. To hold him back from the one thing he feels good about--learning--because of his disability is just plain wrong.

    Months ago, when I talked to the gifted coordinator for our state, she encouraged me to write a letter to my legislators to ask that our laws be changed to require OT in public schools for twice exceptional kids, but I really don't think it would do any good. In my state, it seems that most people are happy with a mediocre education and they don't understand how I could ask for anything special for my child who is academically gifted.

    If they would just allow some kind of part time school it would be great, but they won't. I would love for him to be able to attend the one hour a week gifted class at the school or band class next year, but he would have to be enrolled full time. A friend of my husband's who is a state representative and also on the education committee, and used to be a teacher, thought there should be a part time school option, but she says too many people are opposed to the idea. Many of the homeschoolers are against it because they think it opens the door for the government to get involved in their lives. I'm not quite sure I understand why. They haven't been very friendly ever since I mentioned that I thought part time school might be a good idea, so homeschooling feels very lonely sometimes but I can deal with it.

    So my choices are to keep homeschooling or move out of this state. There are reasons that we cannot move so we just have to do our best we can with what we have. At least we can take breaks throughout the day to work on his motor planning issues and this could be fun, I suppose. We did get the Dance, Dance Revolution game out. He hasn't used this in six months, but after about 15 minutes he was able to get a C grade on the "Play That Funky Music" song. I tried it and couldn't do it as well as he did. I didn't realize it had a metronome feature on it and we turned it on, but my son says it doesn't help him and in fact it annoys him, so we had to turn it off. He said he wished he could get a video of me on the DDR to put on YouTube.

    I think for exercise and increasing endurance, the DDR is good, but I realize now after watching him on it that it probably won't help with his motor planning issues. I don't think it will help him learn sequences of 10-15 dance steps in dance class any faster. I can't wait to see what an OT tells us.


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    Originally Posted by Lori H.
    The doctor asked him what kind of shows he liked to watch on television. He said he didn't watch very much, but the shows he did watch were usually educational in some way and he also told her liked to listen to the news every day. She told him to stop watching the news and to watch kid shows instead.
    Well I agree with the 'don't watch the news' (I think it's really gives a lopsided view of reality) but think the advice to watch kids show is patronizing, unless you are out to try and help him relate to agemates, when watching their shows is a good stratagy actually.


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    Originally Posted by Lori H.
    At least when he is an adult I think it will be easy for him to find jobs that don't require coloring, lots of handwriting, bike riding, etc.

    Hee Hee! That's one to print out and put on the bathroom mirror! so true!


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    Originally Posted by Lori H.
    But I keep thinking about how having to give oral reports in class when I was a kid never helped me get over my fear of speaking in front of a crowd. As an adult, I had choices and chose jobs that didn't require speaking to groups.
    Yes, giving reports in class isn't a babystep, much less a microbaby step. Email reports to your grandparents might have been the just right micro-baby step for you.


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