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Bianc -
I say three cheers for you! I know what it's like to battle a school system of experts, and there were times when my DH's support melted in the heat. That was bad enough. I am so grateful that your Judge was able to see and believe your DD's needs, and you had support for your position with your XH - but still - it can't have been a pretty sight.

So I'm double glad that your DD has a good school that works for her, and your vision. Yippee!

Gifted academics + Good social skills= camoflauged child, yes?

Grinity

Observing in school is ideal, and I do reccomend strongly pushing it. And by strongly, I would say, "Listen, I love you and respect your opinion on most things, but until you have spend at least 3 hours at our child's school observing the daily life, this subject isn't open for discussion."

Alternate - plan a playdate with a few agemates, and get DH's committment to be the chaperone. Suggest that he teach them how to play one of his favorite games, such as chess or monopoly or whatever will give him a chance to get close enough peeks at a normally developing kid to see the beauty of the normal unfolding process. Make sure you are out "grocery shopping" or "getting a facial" during the playdate, and that it goes on 'long enough.' Be sure when you plan the playdate not to invite the two other kids who can somewhat keep up with dear child.

Best Wishes,
Grinity

Great ideas, Grinity! Thanks. I've just been kind of letting this sit on the back burner during December. DS's teacher was going to make a couple of changes for him, but they are really so minimal and are not cutting it ! So DH might find himself doing the volunteer shift some week at school soon!

It is funny. DH (who I do love dearly, and is also obviously GT) is driven absolutely crazy by other boys DS's age. He can barely take it! The difference is really obvious. And it certainly isn't like DS is never annoying or squirrely. He is just annoying in a different way!

Welcome to my world!

[quote=gratified3I think I need to start working on my own denial . . . maybe I need to take vacation days to volunteer because I'm still just not getting it.
J [/quote]

Glad to hear it J. Admitting you have a problem is the first step ((humor alert)) Seriously, what else are vacation days for?

I am so cracking up at the idea of you reading yourself the riot act and putting yourself in 'time out' on this topic with DH until you do the first hand research. LOLOLOL!

((dancing happy feet!!)
Grinity

Sound like it's time for a ki(m)ck in the pants, yes?

Grinity-City

How funny! That's exactly how it is at our house. They have conversations like ds is at least a teenager. My dh is GT as well, and they're like peas in a pod, right down to tempermenet. Hilarious.

And I'm beginning to realize that I should go spend a day in kindergarten ... it makes that big of a difference, hunh? I'll have to go check it out.

Hi Grinity,

My daughter is definitely a chameleon. This is exactly why having her in a regular classroom would be dangerous.

Having a court of law make a ruling that my DD was a "special needs child" was a big victory for me. According to my attorney, California law only recognizes a child as "a special needs child" when they are at the other end of the spectrum.

Because of this ruling, my XH was required to help with private school tuition. This solved my specific problem.
However, I think the law should recognize an EG child as a "special needs child" all the time and force the public school system to allocate, at the very least, the same financial resources to the Highly gifted as they do to the children who need remedial services.

The public schools where I live offer the GATE program (2-3 hours per week of pull out). Even that is probably not going to be available next year as the principal of the school decided that "all children are gifted" and he would rather work on a strong academic program for all (some parents complained of preferencial treatment and want their kids in the gifted program as well).

Oh, ha. The original question.

I don't tell a lot of people that ds is GT; they typically figure it out on their own if they see him enough. And if they don't, they typically don't need to know (unless it is school).

Ds has a bright friend in his k class, probably gifted. His mother struck up a conversation with me soon after finding out ds could read. It was just a little ... I don't know ... obvious? If we get a skip and/or subject acceleration for ds, I think she'll be irritated that we didn't clue her in. Other than that, I've seen very little competition on the academic side from other parents, actually -- which may be a good or bad thing.

Bianc -- Love your story. That's fabulous that you were able advocate for your dd! I agree that EG+ children should all be recognized as special needs. It would make life much easier.

Grinity - we'll miss you while you're gone! I think you're new name is so appropriate for you. I giggle every time I read it.