Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Stress management for G&T Student

My som DP is now in Middle School. He recently has started having panic attacks. He has always been a G&T student, went through all the struggles of being singled out and bullied as an elementary student. During that time he also was so shy and withdrawn it was extremely hard for him...socially.
Now that he is in 8th grade he is finally out of his shell and seems to be doing so well. But he is having panic attacks over the minor things and it is physically taking a told on him. Passing out and vomitting! It is horrible.
The issue is we asked for help at school and at first the guidance counselor didn't know who he was "because he was an Honor's student". Almost like he should have any problems or wasn't allowed to because he is gifted.
Then this past week, on of his teachers accused me of pushing him too hard on his grades. She didn't seem to get the point.
DP (my son) doesn't panic about the grades at all, he panics about the little things like a forgotten book, or a broken pencil. It's like he thinks he needs to be prefect just because he is "smart".
Anyone else have these issues with their gifted child? I need some advice.
I think it is the expectation of perfection he panics about.
Thanks!

I don't have experience exactly like your situation, but I give one idea. It sounds like he is having some very big feelings/sensitivity to his situation. It may help to have him talk to you more. Try to get into a routinue of asking him about his day every day. Try to just let him talk without any judgement or solution from you. Talking lets those feelings be external and helps the feelings get smaller. Getting lots of fresh air and exercise goes a long way to relive anxiety. Is he involved in some sports?

I tell my kids that I would love him no matter how smart they are. It's ok to make mistakes. Try to be an example of forgiving your own mistakes.

I would look for someone experience in gifted over a guidance couselor or school psychologist to get help if you think you need it. I hope this helps. Hugs.

Thanks for the advice. The issue was he tried to go to the school guidance counselor and he was ignored. I try to express to him that we don't want him to be perfect, we just want him to be happy. He is smart enough to know that these panic attacks are not realiztic to the situation. He won't fail if he forgets a book one day or his pencil breaks. The stress seems to come when he has to admitt to the teacher he needs assistance, he worries the teacher will judge him on that one minor mistake. He would rather miss school than to come to school unprepared.
He has a 95+ average in all his classes (even the AP ones)
so the grades aren't really at risk.

My DS is younger, but he was experiencing severe anxiety (related to his food allergy) at school. We took him to a therapist who helped him a great deal.

From my own experience in high school, I don't think that school counselors are equipped to deal with this kind of issue. Outside professional help could make a big difference in your son's life.

I am looking into a professional to meet with my son. My son doesn't want to talk to a third party. He feels that this will label him in another way and he has already been labeled too many times in the past. My son found a private school he wants to attend as a boarder next year...we are going thru the appl process now. On one hand I think it would take away a lot of the stress of fitting in and not standing out since he would be among some of the most gifted students in the world. On the other hand, what if these minor stress become major ones when he is away from home on his own. I want to give him some tools to deal with stress but I haven't found a source he would be willing to try. I'm hoping I can find a peer support group for Gift students in our area. Thanks again for the comments!