Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Possible letter to the powers that be

What do you guys think--would a letter in this style get a positive reaction, or would it just make me more enemies at dd's school? I'm thinking of using something like this if I have to take our requests to the district level.

Good! I don't know what the reaction will be, but it does make the point. I might, actually, even leave out the PS, and see what happened...

Hi Trillium,
Welcome - so glad we are all together! Lovely name.
Interesting letter. I don't like it because it doesn't ask for an action. It requires thought on the part of the person who reads it. This is a problem. You still walking around trying to 'treat people the way you would like to be treated.' This is a mistake that we all make as beginners. You are not like other people in some respects, so don't assume yourself for an audience.
In other words, if I was your school principle, I'd be so impressed with your letter, but then, if I was your school principle, you wouldn't have to be fighting this very basic battle, it would already be accomplished.

Questions for you to think about:
Is 'differently-abled' the phrase your district uses to describe the low-ability students? If not, I wouldn't use it here.

Have you sat down and tried working with the teacher?

Have you sat down and tried working with whoever runs the gifted program?

Have you sat down and tried working with the Principle?


You have to do all these things before going to district level or it will blow up in your face. You have to let each step in the chain know that you are still concerned that the problem isn't solved and planning to go up a level. it's sort of like a video game.

Have you talked to other parents who have kids in the gifted program and found out what is availible?

Is homeschooling an option, because it really seems as though the amount of time that you'll spend getting accommodations in school isn't going to be worth what you get out of it. Would you really be happy with harder worksheets and a pass on the grade level material?

Have you done a skip already?

Is you daughter happy?

Write it and print it out, then drop it off in person at the school, or mail if work interferes. No emails for this one.

BTW, have you applied to the Young Scholar Program? It sounds like it would be useful.

Love and More Love, ( I hope I haven't hurt your feelings)
Grinity

Thanks, Grinity! No feelings hurt at all. I've already hit a brick wall with dd's teacher, so I'm on step 2 right now--working with the principal. First impressions are that she's very anti-grade skip, or even subject acceleration, so I'm anticipating going to the district at some point, hence the letter.

DD is currently happy, but is not learning anything. Her teacher thinks she's bright, but not gifted. She didn't qualify for the district's full-day gifted program because she tested as average on their creativity test. I don't think she's quite DYS material--she's only 145+ on math on the WIAT-II. I'd consider homeschooling, but we'd kill each other within the first week. So I'm committed to finding a resolution through her school. What I'm hoping is that her principal has the clout to just place her in the full-day program, which would be an okay solution for the rest of grade school.

Our state doesn't do gifted IEPs. Our district requires someone to be working 2 grade levels below average before they'll even consider an IEP. I'm thinking that even if I can get the changes I want for my dd this year, I'd like to try to change some assumptions at a higher level.

What if this were a "Dear Congressman" letter? Or am still assuming a higher level of thinking that is actually there?

Feeling your pain, Trillium, feeling your pain -- although I am humbled by your optimism... we wouldn't even last a week!

Despite the road block thus far, though, don't give up on the teacher/principal just yet. Easy to say without being there, I know, but if you are already encountering "resistance" in the school, going to the district will only cause them to dig in their heels even more.

Maybe a pointed question to them as to what exactly then need to see/hear before they will consider a more robust accommodation for your child? More testing, either with the district, or private? How about asking for an end-of-year test for math?

No matter what, you've got to get someone at the school on your side... even if only partially.

Wow! You school system has an all day gifted class? That's wonderful, if it would meet her needs (not a sure thing if she is YPS or near-YSP in her 'level of giftedness')

What about the Gifted Coordinator? There must be someone running the ship if your school has a pull out AND an all day program? Have you sat down with this person and asked about his/her impression of your DD, and show the test results?

BTW - Apply to YSP anyway, ok?

As for the homeschooling, ask yourself 'why' you are so sure that it wouldn't work, and turn that into a social/emotional need for the Gifted Coordinator and the Principal. Is she overly bossy because she spends all day with kids she can run intellectual circles around? Is she overly sensitive because she is facing the insecurity of spending hours and hours repeating work that is years behing where she is? Shape the letter so that you specifically ask for the rules to be bent to let your DD into the all day program.

(Ideally, you will spend an hour or two observing the all day program so you have an idea that it really will met her needs)

As for the 'she is happy' - it's very tricky with girls. Girls tend to have higher social skills, and therefore are better at figuring out what you want to hear and presenting that face to the world. Girls tend to be more athority accepting (at least at school) because they can notice what happens to the rebellious boys and learn by watching. Girls are much more likely to settle for interesting social interactions 'give up' on getting educated at school, and they often have the social skills so that it is really hard to tell by looking at them.

I wouldn't send a letter like that to a Congressman from a school system that has an all day pull out program - it just doesn't make sense. If you have observed the all day program and it seems truly worth your while, AND the gifted coordinator AND Principle aren't willing to bend the rules, THEN it is totally time to call the board and the newpapers and the congressman and complain about that specific problem. How many kids in the allday program really have scores within a half standard deviation of your DD's?

Best Wishes,
Grinity

Here's some thoughts. I'm new at this gifted stuff, but I'll proceed any way.

I think you should go to the gifted teacher or school psychologist and see if they get your child's abilities. After that I would go to the principal if need be. Try to work out a plan with them. It sounds like you need an individual learning plan. Get a flexible plan together on your own. Go into a meeting with an open mind to see what will work with their system. I think a calm unemotional approach works well. How can you and the school together help her? Make sure you have read some about gifted and teaching them in a regular class room.

If you can do the homeschooling but think your involvement in it would be bad, consider getting a retired or part time teacher at home. There is online education. Varing from free to expensive. A friend has her children do a free homeschooling program with a online teacher offered thru our state. Her 2nd Grader did this mostly on his own once he became oriented. He is much more content now that is is not being bothered about all the extra reviewing not needed at school.

Can you get her to do something at home that she could bring into school? Ex. My son does his extra math book after he is allowed to go ahead of class on math page. He does this work well independently so it's easy for the teacher. Could your DD try something like Alex for a month at home only $20 a month so you can show she can do it independently. These are math examples but you didn't mention if this was an area of need for enrichment/accelloration.

If the school is worried about accelloration try a baby step of just one class. You need to get them to see her ability and overcome their objections and be flexible.

Best of Luck. I would expect this to be difficult but worthwhile.

Trillium,

I think that the letter you've drafted is very effective in making your point, but then, I'm an easy sell My only suggestion would be to drop the P.S. and add a short, specific request: "we are requesting a meeting to discuss options to meet DD's needs. We're confident that if we all put our heads together we can come up with a plan that addresses her need for different pacing and content".

You might consider including the article posted on another thread about what kids aren't learning when the work is too easy.

There's no question that there is some risk involved here. In the end it will depend on whether the district is actively hostile towards GT needs, or just clueless. Clueless is workable. Hostile is generally harder. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best!