Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional What else should I do (or not do)

Hi MNTCmom, Have you talked to any of the other parents at those 4 schools with 2e kids? We can't go to any of them because we are 1+ hour away but I have talked to other parents there. I was also going to suggest OT (Occupational Therapy) as in Sensory Processing Disorder. My DS7 has made incredible improvement in the areas you mentioned by doing different types of games, exercises, etc here at home. The blurting out is a maturity/boredom thing I was told. You can't blurt out answers you don't know. For my son it was understanding that if he wanted people to see how "smart" he was, he needed to follow the rules, raise his hands, and act mature. Then people would sit up and listen. And the OT has helped tremendously with him controlling himself. Also look up "The Mislabeled Child" by Drs Eide. The "hitting" other kids could be a lack of awareness with ones own body in space. He actually feels threatened and lashes out to protect himself. (????)

Thanks for all your words of wisdom Grinity! It is so nice to hear from parents who have BTDT.

UG! MNTC! Don't you just love those little tidbits of information? Perhaps that will be enough to convinse the school that this isn't the standard kid, and what works on standard kids won't work on him, and 'this has worked great at home, and maybe you could try it in school.' Honestly - most teachers really are looking to help the child!

How are things going now?
((pouty lip))
Grinity

This type of treatment of kids just gets my blood boiling.

Grinity hits the nail right on the head!!

hkc75, Thanks for the ideas on reaching out to other 2E parents at the school and the OT idea.
Grinity and Austin, Thanks again for all the support.
I just had this parent-teacher meeting this week. We talked about the general goals as of academic and social. I was glad that it was pointed out to me that he was young amongst his peers, as we were discussing his handwriting still being big and not lined up. Yes, we did start the chart this week and I was told of "improvement". DS8 has been pretty excited to tell me daily how his chart "scores" at school. I am also hoping the teachers will also "take clue" from the chart and approach/view him a little big differently. I am taking any size positive steps that I can get. And I'll be sure to report back on our progress.

im glad to hear that the teachers are sounding more positive. do you want to post or PM me the chart and see if we can brrainstorm into shaping it into a tool to help the teachers appreciate your ds? best wishes grinity

MNTCMom I pmd you.

After a promising week and a half ending with a doctor's visit during a school day, the last couple days were downhill quick. Basically he has achieved next level of warning milestone at school within the last two days. Well, the first one was when the teacher said he did not follow directions because he let the folders he was supposed to hand out being grabbed by another kid, and then he felt he was wrongly blamed and threw the chart sheet on the floor. The second is an accumulation effect from a teacher over the week due to that he kept asking a curriculum question (but) not being answered and then talked to other kids during the class. The third one was that he laughed at another kid's joke during the class and got warned of not laughing first; yet the other kid kept doing it, he tried hard not to laugh and even covered his mouth with hand, but of course, it was his bad choice to laugh at the end getting him the "official warning". It is all just what DS has told me and can be just hearsay.

I really need to work hard on him taking criticism well and not throwing a fit. And I have made it clear to him that no matter he is at right or wrong, throwing a fit can only make him wrong in the end. I also have to keep reminding him not to talk to other kids during class. But when he told me the last case, he was crying badly and holding his head as if having a headache. Growing up so far, he has not lied yet, and I know that crying was not fake. I have pointed out in the past right on the spot when he tried to take less responsibility in matters. If he was trying to use today's crying to shift his responsibility, I think he has succeeded.

Oh, he has been forgetting bringing some of the homework home almost every other day, although every day when I picked him up, I asked if he had packed all his homework.

During the first week of school, we signed a pledge to get out of the program if having problems academically and/or behaviorally. At our school beginning class parents-teachers meeting, it was brought up by another parent about GT kids being GT are bound to have some behavior issues, and what are implications. The GT specialist described that they really work hard to not let that happen, especially so far no one has been transitioned out due to just behavior problem yet that (behavior) can impact academic side. The teacher said they understand kids can have behavior issues due to different reasons, but they had taught at Minneapolis school district for many years and seen plenty and they know how to handle. (This school DS is going to now is not in Minneapolis school district.)

But the more I think over the incidents, the more I wonder if he actually is having a social maturity issue as the more prominent problem. It is not like he has just turned evil-minded to have those bad behaviors to disturb other people. At the last school, even with his problem and boredom, the teachers always described him as polite and kind. I control what books he reads and what TV programs he watches, unless the book Brisingr he read last year (for AR) did something to him? Also he is very outgoing and says and acts what is on his mind. Combine that with being an 8yr-old among mostly 9yr-olds, and in a GT-expectation environment, his social skill issue really magnifies, as I see it.

Thank you so much for letting me vent here. I will keep going over the rules and reminding him. So wish I could be a fly on the wall with him at the school.

Dear MNTC Mom,

I don't comment a lot here, but your son's story has got to me. Is this teacher really trying to teach the gifted mind? or is he trying to run a class for high achieving children?

As you said, your son is not evil-minded. So what is the teacher doing to try to TEACH your son about self-control and resilience? Anyone teaching gifted kids should know that part of the privilege of working with such creative and unusual thinkers is going to be working with some creative and unusual behaviors. If I could go back in time with our DS12 (ADD and not on meds when in primary school), I would ask the following questions earlier:

Are the consequences you have imposed working? If not, I'm assuming that you will try a different approach.

What strategies have you used to teach respect and integrity to your highly intelligent and sensitive children in the past?

How are you fostering cooperation and collaboration in the classroom? These are qualities that are essential for getting along in the world today.

Just so you know, our DS12 is hilarious, outgoing, very sensitive, very unconventional, and not motivated by criticism or peer pressure. He's fun to live with and I think will be a well-liked and creative adult if he can continue to believe in himself. His third grade teacher had him thinking that he was bad at school and unlikeable - a dangerous thing to me.

Hang in there, and don't let any teacher try to tell you about medication! We did decide to go for medication this fall (12 yrs old) because we felt that our son's lack of focus was beginning to affect his ability to develop the higher critical thinking skills he will need. But not because he interrupts people.

Enjoy your creative kid!