Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy need support with DD5

So glad we live in a country where they still wear school uniform... it does take a lot of hassle out of the mornings. Although like others here have said on the clothes thing we have never clothes shopped for DS6, one reason is being half way round the world from relatives - the usual "what does he want for b'day/xmas" question has always been answered with - clothes, cheaper to post and easier than trying to explain that age appropriate toys won't cut it. So we still have a heap to pull out that he hasn't even grown into yet. Although I guess the clothes thing is only really a part of the problem. I hear what you are saying re being at home with the kids for a month. When my DS was 2.5yrs I couldn't keep him entertained at home any longer, he was driving me insane. He went to Kindy full time (9am-3pm)every day and loved every minute of it because he was constantly stimulated and I think once your DD starts school this term you will see a difference (if she is properly challenged), a grade skip helped us a lot, along with lots of hard work with the help of a psych who showed us how much he was controlling us with his opposisitional behaviour and how we had to go back to basics of setting boundaries, restricting choices, giving rewards (to begin with - really don't need them now) and lots and lots of positive praise. I've talked about this on previous threads and we are really seeing the results now - his behaviour is awesome. We had to be reminded that our super clever conversationalist who could give a chief justice a run for their money was in fact still a child and needed to be treated like one. It may not work for everyone of course and everyone has different styles but it sure worked for us and now I sometimes forget about being a parent because he has it all under control

Good luck & big hugs.

I think being more 'matter of fact' about some stuff has helped with our ds9, but dd3 is another story. Hopefully some of her full throttle attitude about a lot of things will relax when she is older.

It may be about intellectual control/independence (as someone above suggested) vs. emotional needs that don't line up (aka asynchronous development).
Being capable of handling clothing decisions like a 9 or 10 yr old, but maybe deep down feeling more like 'can someone just please pick this stuff out, and take care of me, I'm only 5!' can probably be pretty frustrating...having stuff just show up in your room can really make you feel protected and taken care of, I'd think. It is odd to think this would cause any stress, but perhaps the idea of going off to school in a few weeks has intensified an unspoken need to feel protected (?)

Sorry to hear you are having a hard time explaining all this to a friend, I have tried a couple times speaking with a friend at work about ds9, who actually sounds pretty similar to her own dd10, but she is more 'old school' than me, being from another country. She thinks her own daughter is lazy when she doesn't show enthusiasm for her school work, not in need of further challenge (tested gt, in a pullout program so maybe she thinks that is sufficient). So even people with similar kids can have really different perspectives...

hi everyone
a quick update to my original post about the schoolclothes. we ended up cooling our jets about it and she ended up liking 1 of the 6 outfits i bought. we praised her for picking it, as it was a very comfortable, nice choice. Then she went with me to return the others. Its a high-end kids store so a salesperson basically commondeers you and brings you outfits, so i didn't plan it this way but my son needed supervision and the salesperson pretty much just hooked up with my DD5 and they showed me the choices at the end. She then charmed the whole dressing area with her fashion show. I was asked how old she is more than once! But it was fun and refreshing.

But i know, on the flip side, that this is not the end to our constant struggles. I have looked at some of the book suggestions, like the Explosive Child, and will definitely be doing more reading. Thanks everyone, as usual the responses were even more than expected

irene

hey again all
i was looking into two books , 1) The Explosive Child (mentioned here) and 2) The nurtured heart approach. I am trying to figure out which to order. Any opinions appreciated.
irene