Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy A frustrated parent: Challenging a gifted child

Since spelling was a non-issue, we shifted the emphasis on hand-writing. If his spelling was correct, but we needed a PhD in Hieroglyphics to decipher, then no dice. Of course, he rose to the occasion, which for him required considerable effort.

(I'm really feeling far too cynical to be discussing this, I can tell.)

Yes, I'm sure that there is always some aspect of what he's doing that is praiseworthy (and eking out legible words definitely qualifies), but when we're essentially creating alternative "goals & challenges" out of thin air for wont of a genuine academic challenge, we're short-changing the whole process.

Sorry -- I was a bit snippy.

As I've been completely immersed in this subject -- really, REALLY focused for several weeks now -- my frustrations are becoming magnified, if not slightly blown out of proportion. It's as though I have reached a level of clarity that is so sharp, so keen, that no other viewpoint could possibly be correct.

I find myself particularly sensitive to anything that attempts (directly or otherwise) to give the schools a pass on what they are doing -- or not doing -- for our kids.

If my kid were the star quarterback, why... he'd have his own bus, his own cheer-leading squad, everything he needed. Heck, he'd even have a private tutor to help him keep up his grades... probably one of those gifties...

Again, my apologies.

Yes, I just experience this with my DS8. No school all summer and I asked him to do a basic 2 digit multiplication and he got confused when in the spring he did it no problem. But then I asked myself...I once took classes such as Trig. and Calculus and did well but would be very hard-pressed to do it right now without some serious review.
I think that this makes it hard sometimes for others to understand that just because a child is gifted doesn't mean he always knows the answer or remembers everything. They then use those moments to say/think "Well then maybe he isn't so smart." Next time that happens I am going to ask them to supply me with the quadratic formula!

Yes breakaway! DS couldn't remember how to do 2-digitx2-digit multiplication but he certainly got the answer through his firm knowledge of place value!

My friend does have one of those mathy kids that just computes like lightening, remembers everything lol so they do exist....just not my kid lol and I have to remind myself that they are quite different types of *giftedness.*

Our pow-wow @ the school is scheduled for today -- it ought to be very interesting at least.

After speaking with the GT-coordinator and a private psych w/GT specialty, the working plan will be to aim towards a mid-year skip from 4th to 5th by sending DS to 5th grade class for the subjects that really don't lend themselves to in-class differentiation (reading, language arts, writing, etc.).

The GT-person is very well versed in HG/PG and has been working with the school to bring them up to speed on the special needs of these kids.

Having DS spend portions of each day in 5th will give us all a chance to evaluate his performance w/the older class without committing him to a complete skip. This will make it much, much easier to unwind things if necessary -- without affixing any failure labels.

We completed the Iowa Acceleration Scale and it reflects that DS is a good candidate for the full skip. He fell short of the "excellent candidate" threshold because of his age/size.

I've got a good outline of what I hope to have discussed today, but suspect it is a bit on the ambitious side. I gotta aim for the proverbial stars, right?

In the end, I can't give enough credit to the awesome people here. The litany of BTDT advice and all the thoughtful discussion have been invaluable!

And, of course, a special shout-out to Dottie for the superb "Dottie-Fu" applied to the test results and related consternation.

Good luck today, Dandy! And don't worry about asking for too much - if you don't ask for it, you surely won't get it. If you ask, there's a chance of getting it or at least a compromise addressing the issue.

Yes aim higher than you want and compromise to what you're willing to accept! GOOD LUCK!!!! and report back!

good luck dandy. i agree that superb is the word for Dottie. I Also agree to ask for more than u want. It seems to help the schoolies feel less put out if they can say 'no' to a few things. Of couse u have to find inoffensive things to want...gamesmanship can get so complicated! anyway good luck it sounds like a good plan. grinity

I so agree! Even when Ds9's new teacher knew that he is currently taking an online AL course, she said she needed to bring to my attention that "he is slow" compared to his same-aged classmates when it comes to +-/x bigger numbers.

This almost belongs in the Ultimate Brag thread because it is just that amazing.

Despite my usual approach of being overly-prepared in advance of the meeting, I was really unsure of how the events would unfold. And I clearly was NOT prepared for where it ended up... and couldn't have reasonably asked for anything more.

As confident as I felt about serving as DS's advocate, I must honestly say that the school system didn't need any arm-twisting *at all* to give DS what he needs. It started with "Tell us what you would like to do," so I'm sure glad I was prepared with plenty of possibilities!

-- -- --

The gist of the plan is that we will select one or two courses for DS to take in 5th grade classroom (to "test-drive the environment") and continue with on-line instruction -- IN CLASS! -- for Math & probably Language Arts. (School to pick up EPGY tab!!)

If things go well for the remainder of the 1st half of the year, he will be allowed to move to 5th full-time, while continuing any on-line work he is doing. The teacher & principal both agreed that the 5th grade is a terrific bunch of kids in every respect -- one of the best groups they've had in awhile.

We all came away with a common understanding that nothing is set in stone, and that flexibility is paramount in finding the best fit for DS.

What an unbelievable relief.

-- -- --

The Gifted Advocacy Page over at Hoagies provided the best collection of articles to help me develop my focus in preparation for the meetings.

It's not only about what *you* want, and being totally comfortable discussing every conceivable ramification of every possibility or combination of possibilities, but it's ALSO about what *they* want, and being comfortable discussing and/or debating everything that the school is (or might be) contemplating -- especially when some of the popular GT Myths enter into the debate.

And in our case -- even though I know EVERYTHING in the WHOLE WORLD about GT -- it was invaluable having someone from the school or district who was able to do some of the "skoolin'" of the admin & teacher(s) on our behalf -- in advance of this meeting and outside of my presence.

-- -- --

I know that execution of the plan is a whole different ball game, but at least having everyone working together (peacefully) is one killer starting point. And DS will undoubtedly benefit greatly no matter what.

Again, many, MANY thanks to all of the fantastic contributors within these virtual walls.