Of course there may also be a connection between DS's unwillingness to do what you ask at home with the situation at school.
We're thinking that he spends every waking moment testing limits at home & arguing about fair application of house rules ... but at school, he's thus far avoided any shenanigans like that. We'd much rather have it that way than the opposite (angel @ home; terror @ school).
This means that homeschooling may go more smoothly than you had planned.
You really are an optimist -- and I truly admire that!
We've had enough excitement with "learnin'" at home that, while not impossible, homeschooling is not at the top of the stack of probable. It's as much me as it is him -- who knows, it may be all me!
I've spent a fair amount of time helping in the classroom and am amazed by the teachers' patience and their ability to corral those kittens. Those are truly some special people.
Many of the teachers that 'can' already 'do.' But there are a few out there who are convertible.
I see your point here. After their initial eye-rolling reactions -- and after they realize that I am not a PIA-parent -- all his teachers have genuinely wanted to help. But as the months go along, I believe they are lulled into complacency by his grades & behavior, subconsciously adopting the "If it ain't broke..." rule.
(Other than the one who said "Don't push him!" He just plain didn't want to see things from our perspective.)
Have you looked at what YOU can do to change things?
Only every day for the last few years!
So what, exactly, can you change?
1) you can homeschool
2) you can get him privately assessed and build a relationship with a professional who is willing to advocate...
We're waiting for testing now -- s/b in next week or so. And I've also been talking with a couple different psychs about these challenges, and will definitely be employing their services if we don't make headway.
3) Repeat every day: Giftedness is a special educational need...
I have a little more "colorful language" in my version... but I really do have to remind myself -- re-focus on what he needs. I know that I get lulled into complacency as well from time to time. It's not only the teachers.
4) afterschool programs, Saturday enrichment or individual tutoring...
We're really hesitant about these options, as he has a keen sense of "time for this & time for that" and doesn't like it when the "extra" school work infringes on "his" time. This is why I am so adamant about finessing a solution within the school day. I want him to have all that tree-climbing & bike-riding time -- you know, be a kid, too.
It would really suck to spend a full day behaving & getting work done in school... just to come home and be greeted with MORE work at home.
5) Check out the parenting books
I added your two suggestions to my reading list -- will be over to the library later today.
6) Start saving now for gifted summer camp
There are a couple of programs that he will be old enough for next summer. Already have those on our calendar. Being around other kids of his age & ability will be a big boost for him, I'm certain.
Thanks so much for the ideas & suggestions.