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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 347
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OP
Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 347 |
Hi,
I am glad I found this forum, a place where I can talk about my DD without prejudices.
I give a brief intro on us:
We have a daughter, DD, who is now 4 years old and a son, DS, who is now 16 months old. DD has been tested and got IQ=120 on the Stanford-Binet (version IV) and 137 on the Columbia Maturity test, plus an mental age of 6.5 years old.
She is being raised multilingual. Now she speaks three languages and have passive knowledge of the fourth (English actually).
She has a visual tracking problem, and this shows mainly on the gross motor skills: she cannot catch a ball for example.
She is not reading or counting yet (well, she counts until 6). I think it is the multilingualism combined with the eye tracking problem.
We started a vision therapy to correct the visual problem, but this has gone terribly wrong. The therapist was extremely negative about DD, everything was wrong with her: she is too verbal, she asks too many questions, she does not visualize, she is naughty... She essentially links myopia with intellingence. She would make all those comments in front of her. I thought DD would not really understand what we talk since it was in English, but she must have got a lot, because she thought that I did not love her any more and that the therapy was to 'change' her literally.
Anyway, that's enough for now.
Has anybody have similar experiences?
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 7,207
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 7,207 |
Oh Isa! I'm so sad about your experience. I would reccomend dropping the therapist, and appologising to your daughter. My son also has visual problems, and I haven't had enough faith in the field to start him with a therapist at all! But I do hope you try again to find another person to work with her in this area. I was so tickled to find a game in store for my son (age 11.) that is supposed to train the eye muscles and visual system: http://www.amazon.com/Flash-Focus-Vision-Training-Minutes/dp/B000TTZMCSI bought it and he says it's fun! I'm guessing that your daughter is too young for a Nintendo DS, but it might be something fun in the future. As for catching a ball, I have found one that has about 20 soft spider legs comming out of it, so that when my son was little, if he missed it, it wouldn't bounce and roll away. There is also a common type of ball, called a "Koosh" ball, which is very soft, and also doesn't roll or bounce. Bean Bags are also great for this purpose. I would encourage you to play lots of games that combine her strengths with her weaknesses. Example - If she loves matching pictures to words, tape 3 words to buckets, and give her cards with pictures on it, and ask her to throw a bean bag into the bucket that has the correct word on it. The idea is to get her to practice where she needs it (throwing) and keeping it from becoming boring by distracting her with the interesting and challenging work. (matching the pictures) My son also didn't read until he was 6, even though he is very gifted, and could identify letters at age 2! I think that the visual system can take a while to mature, and that everyone has their areas of strength and weakness. My son isn't mulilingual, although he seems to be interested, and always enjoyed and noticed whenever he encounters someone with an accent. When he was little he said, "That man has music in his voice!" Now my son is learning French at school, and practices it with his dad, and French-speaking friends who visit occasionally. When my son was little, evey game of catch I played with him ended in him crying because I would hit him in the face with the ball. I didn't understand about visual tracking problems then and just gave up without thinking about it. At his school on the playground at age 7, the other boys would complain, "Hey, why do you play kickball? You aren't any good at it." He would explain to them that he wanted to improve, so of course he needed to play. At age 9 there was a popular game of "wall ball" that involved throwing a tennis ball against the wall and catching it. He must have gotten very involved with this at school, because from then on he is much improved with catching and throwing. My son tends to learn in spurts. On his 9th birthday, he learned to whistle, and whistled constantly for a whole year. Currently he is practicing card tricks, which I prefer! ((smile)) Anyway, Welcome Isa! Sorry about my lack of spelling ability. I wish I could greet you in all of your languages! Trinity
Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1
New Member
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New Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1 |
My experience was with to a different specialty therapist, but there was also a loss of trust for my son.
A speech therapist through my ds�s playgroup misinformed ds that his parents were telling them he couldn�t talk. This was announced in front of ds, his opinion wasn�t actually solicited, and despite what he was told the judgment didn�t come from us.
(He was 2, teething extremely hard, and was already reading to us but not demonstrating to strangers on command.)
We had 2 weeks of ds bursting into tears, after all we had been telling him up to this point that he was smart. Discipline also went down the tubes because we were obviously jerks.
What helped: Chances to show off. Lots of third party confirmation that the therapist was wrong (and if we actually had been misstating his abilities behind his back, confirmation that so were we. The items below refer to reading, because for him it is a big strength). 1) Dropped that playgroup. New playgroup instructor had much more experience and promptly observed in front of ds that he knew his letters and numbers. 2) New book arrived in the mail, so he was able to prove to us that he was smart, by reading it to us immediately upon opening the package. (He didn�t need to but our credibility with him was shot at this point, so he basically needed opportunities to prove himself to us in his area of strength.) 3) A grandma that he didn�t see often (the impartial observer) showed up showed up and gave him a lot of feedback on how bright he was. Her arrival marked the end of his upset. She also brought a coloring/activity book whose title indicated anything that a preschooler might know would be contained within, and nothing they tested for at the first playgroup was contained within.
Good luck.
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 347
Member
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OP
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 347 |
Hi Trinity, Oh Isa! I'm so sad about your experience. I would reccomend dropping the therapist, and appologising to your daughter. My son also has visual problems, and I haven't had enough faith in the field to start him with a therapist at all! But I do hope you try again to find another person to work with her in this area. Yes, we dropped the therapist a little bit more than a month ago and I tried to explain to DD that it was the therapist and not me who wanted to change her into a a 'Stepford Daughter' (I obviously used another words). About the vision therapy, if properly done it does actually work. I know by my own experience. When I was a child I was diagnosed with a lazy eye. I have spent all my life hearing that I would never correct the lazy eye... until I did eye exercises and was able to see perfectly right with it. Now, even though I have lost a little bit of vision I still can see in 3D! I have seen those games. Maybe I can get one for myself! As for catching a ball, I have found one that has about 20 soft spider legs comming out of it, so that when my son was little, if he missed it, it wouldn't bounce and roll away. There is also a common type of ball, called a "Koosh" ball, which is very soft, and also doesn't roll or bounce. Bean Bags are also great for this purpose. I would encourage you to play lots of games that combine her strengths with her weaknesses. The therapist used a lot something called 'tooties'. I have recently got jongleur balls to play with. Example - If she loves matching pictures to words, tape 3 words to buckets, and give her cards with pictures on it, and ask her to throw a bean bag into the bucket that has the correct word on it. The idea is to get her to practice where she needs it (throwing) and keeping it from becoming boring by distracting her with the interesting and challenging work. (matching the pictures) mmm! That's an interesting game! I think I will change words with numbers, but I definitively have to try. I have read as well about blowing bubbles and trying to catch them with a ruler. I have teach her as well to give 'dragonfly kisses' by blinking hard several times. My son also didn't read until he was 6, even though he is very gifted, and could identify letters at age 2! I think that the visual system can take a while to mature, and that everyone has their areas of strength and weakness. My son isn't mulilingual, although he seems to be interested, and always enjoyed and noticed whenever he encounters someone with an accent. When he was little he said, "That man has music in his voice!"
Now my son is learning French at school, and practices it with his dad, and French-speaking friends who visit occasionally. Is your DH French? I spent a few years in Paris many years ago and still love to talk French. When my son was little, evey game of catch I played with him ended in him crying because I would hit him in the face with the ball. I didn't understand about visual tracking problems then and just gave up without thinking about it.
At his school on the playground at age 7, the other boys would complain, "Hey, why do you play kickball? You aren't any good at it." He would explain to them that he wanted to improve, so of course he needed to play. At age 9 there was a popular game of "wall ball" that involved throwing a tennis ball against the wall and catching it. He must have gotten very involved with this at school, because from then on he is much improved with catching and throwing. My son tends to learn in spurts. On his 9th birthday, he learned to whistle, and whistled constantly for a whole year. Currently he is practicing card tricks, which I prefer! ((smile)) I think I have to motivate DD into trying catching and throwing more often! I would be nuts if she would whistle for a whole year, hehehe... Anyway, Welcome Isa! Sorry about my lack of spelling ability. I wish I could greet you in all of your languages! Trinity Spelling? Who cares! It is always very nice to be welcome, no matter the language. And thanks a lot for the playing ideas!
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 347
Member
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OP
Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 347 |
Hi Jess, Thanks for the sugestions. My experience was with to a different specialty therapist, but there was also a loss of trust for my son.
A speech therapist through my ds�s playgroup misinformed ds that his parents were telling them he couldn�t talk. This was announced in front of ds, his opinion wasn�t actually solicited, and despite what he was told the judgment didn�t come from us.
(He was 2, teething extremely hard, and was already reading to us but not demonstrating to strangers on command.)
We had 2 weeks of ds bursting into tears, after all we had been telling him up to this point that he was smart. Discipline also went down the tubes because we were obviously jerks.
What helped: Chances to show off. Lots of third party confirmation that the therapist was wrong (and if we actually had been misstating his abilities behind his back, confirmation that so were we. The items below refer to reading, because for him it is a big strength). 1) Dropped that playgroup. New playgroup instructor had much more experience and promptly observed in front of ds that he knew his letters and numbers. 2) New book arrived in the mail, so he was able to prove to us that he was smart, by reading it to us immediately upon opening the package. (He didn�t need to but our credibility with him was shot at this point, so he basically needed opportunities to prove himself to us in his area of strength.) 3) A grandma that he didn�t see often (the impartial observer) showed up showed up and gave him a lot of feedback on how bright he was. Her arrival marked the end of his upset. She also brought a coloring/activity book whose title indicated anything that a preschooler might know would be contained within, and nothing they tested for at the first playgroup was contained within.
Good luck. We are going to spend next Christmas with my parents and my mom always talks very well about DD, how she is sooo good - a saint, literally and I think this will make her very good. Definitively some therapists should burn in hell....
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 180
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Member
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 180 |
I just wanted to stop by and say welcome!
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