Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion "Sometimes it's very hard..."

Little bit of an update here... for those of you playing at home.

DS6 started having behavioral problems again at school to the point where we got a call from his teacher. We actually expected this because we've now seen a very clear pattern: his behavior gets very bad after returning from any break (winter, spring, etc). That coupled with what appears to be severe sleep apnea meant that DS was exhausted all of the time and then would have total emotional melt downs. We have an ENT appointment this week, so hopefully we can get that problem solved. Seriously, the boy is in bed no later than 7:30 and then gets 11 hours of sleep. Fortunately DW noticed he was snoring to the point where he'd occasionally stop breathing and then wake himself up. Thus the call to the ENT.

This week his sleep seems to be a little better and as such, yesterday he was pretty much a perfect, happy-go-lucky boy. This morning was very good too. Hopefully we're through the rough patch (it generally lasts about 3 weeks). However, the teacher called yesterday at a point where DW had just about had it with being patient with the school. Normally we try to be as diplomatic as possible but they have a very strong tendency to equate achievement with GTness. There is a bit more to it, but I think most of us have been there with our respective schools.

So anyway, apparently at breakfast after I left for work he had a very involved conversation with DW. DW doesn't remember how they got on the subject, but DS said, unprompted "sometimes it's really hard to sit still when they're teaching things I already know." He proceeded to go on and on about this which is a little unusual because he doesn't talk about school a whole lot. DW used it as a teaching point to talk about challenging yourself in school, etc. It is both interesting and sad at the same time that he's noticing this and it's becoming more of a problem. I'm pretty certain this is going to get worse over time.

We're still trying to figure things out...

JB

JBDad,

I can totally relate. My DS6 also has trouble with the breaks. Yesterday my DS got called into the principal's office for kicking the substitute teacher. He gets sooo frustrated when people are "belittling" to him. Obviously the substitute teacher doesn't know him and made some sort of comment that would be appropriate for a ND Kinder. My son took her comment to mean that he was dumb and freaked out. Even though my DS is accelerated all day, in all subjects, he complains about having to go to school and not learn anything.

Some days it's not just hard, it's impossible! At least we have others to commiserate with, hang in there!

Thanks for the update. I have been thinking about your family...



No words of wisdom. Just glad to hear how it's going.

Good catch on the sleep apnea! It's an encouraging sign that he opened up to you about what he's feeling in school. Knowing that you and DW are working to improve the situation probably helps reduce his stress.



Nice! I had to sit through three LONG dry school board meetings in order to speak on an issue that was important to me. Maybe the silver lining is the endurance you develop for such things later in life.

JBDad....well there might be a bright side...it's the kids that act out who seem to get their needs met eventually. My son would never act out ... he was screaming in his head but on the outside he was just sitting there quietly. I got "Oh he's fine all day. He's so quiet. He does just what I tell him to."

My son constantly said, "I'm just so tired of always reviewing stuff I already know." One morning, he literally fell to pieces. He was so frightening I called the pediatrician. I think my son is on the far end of the spectrum with his inability to deal w/ stuff he already knows....I do see value in being able to sit through boring stuff....but at some point a line gets crossed where it's too much....that line is different for every kid. Unfortunately for my son, that line was very close. And yes my son too never said much about school so when he started talking about it like your son has, I listened. My son stayed in school for 4yrs (K-3) and I'm dealing with so many bad habits with him that I honestly doubt I'd be dealing with if he had not experienced not having work at his level and his learning intensity.

Good luck,
Dazey

Interestingly, my son too was dealing with sleep apnea. We had to have his tonsils and adenoids removed. His case was odd b/c he never was sick, never had a sore throat. IT seems to be asymptomatic allergies. I know this year even w/out tonsils or adenoids, his eyes got red and he seemed tired and grumpy so I started giving him allergy meds and that helped a lot.

Yeah, we're wondering if they're going to recommend tonsils & adenoids being removed. We're hoping that's it. Our son has always slept a lot, but at 6 now, he seems to need a lot of sleep and still wake up tired.

And we're keeping an eye on the allergies just in case...

JB

Hi, my ds6 just had his tonsils and adenoids removed. It's been about a month and so far, (fingers crossed), the T&A seems to be having a positive impact on him. (His issue was not sleep apnea but an autoimmune response to chronic strep.)

He also had cyclical behavioral problems that would get better, worse, better, worse over the course of the year for no discernible reason (behavior plans, goal charts etc. had no impact)

Anyway good luck finding a solution. T&A has helped a lot of kids.

oh bronxmom - I'm so glad to hear that your son is doing better! I was so hoping the T&A removal would solve his strep issues. It did for my friend as an adult.

This is what I keep telling myself but for my DS6 it seems the more he misbehaves the less the school is willing to work with us.

No advice from, just sympathy. My DS6 also seems to have very hard time on substitute teacher days. He just can't stand it when adults talk down to him. He also thinks that they must think he is stupid.