Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional OT help needed for silly boy?

Hi, kind of a quick question, with long, long start. I am unsure if my DS4 really needs OT help or not. We had talked ourselves into it because of how sensitive he is; but maybe we just need one that has dealt with a boy like ours. We realize that he is a very sensitive kid and does need help trying to regulate his emotions and dealing with stressful situations. He is not an angry aggressive child. He is fun and playful and hysterical. We decided to seek OT help for DS a few months ago for more feeding therapy, to get him to be more open to trying to eat more foods (although he does eat very healthy foods), especially now that he is gluten and dairy free. It was a nightmare trying to transition him to solid foods when it was time; and he is still a very picky eater. DS had seen the OT about 7x's. We stopped about a month ago to give him a complete break from everything due to what his reaction was to school related stuff (see my other posts). We started OT again today, no feeding stuff, just sensory integration stuff, exercises, brushing massage, Therapeutic Listening, and training for me. He was excessively silly through most of it, plus added barking (he is really into the air buddies movies right now - all 3). Plus, he hadn't gotten any exercise outside today. The OT was getting sensitive/perturbed about his actions; which he sensed of course and pushed more (buttons by being more silly - we can be excessively silly at home). I said that he was pretending to be the buddies (and explained who they were). She said that that wasn't it, that he just needed to make noise; and that it wasn't pretending. Later, at home he said "Mommy, I was just pretending to be "Shasta" (from "Snow Buddies") to Ms. (OT). I said, "I know honey." She also mentioned that she works with "many intelligent kids" with sensory stuff. She obviously didn't believe in the "giftedness" of our DS with that statement, even though I said previously that our ped and a child neuro we saw thought so as well. DS heard us talking about all of this stuff, and always understands what we are talking about. I hate talking about him when he is there.

Finally, my question...how do you know if a gifted child needs help if he acts fine at home (the best a-just-turned-4-yr old can) and only acts out (silly or frustrated) with certain authority figures? Does it mean he just doesn't respect the therapist or teacher or whatever authority figure? And how can you find one that has worked with a child like yours, if your child does need help, without bouncing him around and spending $$$ along the way? I have asked around; but I don't know anyone who's child is like mine (that's in GA).

DS is finally coming out of the shell he has been in for the last 5 months or so (while he was in school), and telling us things like the teacher told him "no" when he gave answers about what he knows???; he is singing the songs and tell us the prayers he learned at school; he is starting to act extremely interested in learning new things again. He is actually doing very well with controlling his emotions and giving himself time to decompress when we talk to him calmly about what and how he is feeling. He said that he doesn't want to be a smart kid though still; and I suppose that is because most of the kids in his former pre-school class didn't know what he did. The kids don't understand his humor sometimes; but he makes his friends laugh with his fun-lovingness and pretending to be things (taking on the persona of characters he likes). Their parents say that his sense of humor is so "different and funny."

Thank you!

p.s. I would love a recommendation of a child's book for us to read together that speaks about emotions and expressing them better. He is really contemplating things more lately and becoming more introspective.

No book recommendations, sorry.
After reading your post, mainly I wonder did the tester know he was 4? I know she must have 'known' in the sense it was on her paperwork...but did she get it?

These sound totally like things my kids would and have done. For an 'extreme' example, we have a friend with a daughter who, when 3, "thought" she was a puppy for almost a year (not all the time, but a lot of the time)!
The parents went with it, even having a puppy birthday party when she turned 4. There were times they wished she would act 'normal', but they knew she was just having fun and learning about people, frankly.

My dd7 is much like that. She LOVES to recite movies and act them out. Interestingly, she is really into the "Buddies" movies as well as Bolt...she still (even at 7 likes to pretend she is a dog!).

Her silliness, while endearing and entertaining, sometimes is her coping mechanism when things get too stressful.

We read books like: Elizabeth Who Is Not a Saint, Arnie and His School Tools, Mommy May I Kiss the Fishes, and When Sophie Gets Angry...there are others and of course I don't recall the authors!

DS has not yet been tested. We don't know if he'll "silly" his way through that as well. He does not treat all adults like this; just the ones that he doesn't feel are worthy of knowing his knowledge. If they talk about him like he has problems, the silliness really comes out.

Thank you. I thought that the dog thing was him just being creative.:) It helps to know other kids are that way.

DS quotes the movies all the time. And loves to pretend.

We really want to know if he needs the OT help. HE hasn't been in a good pre-school situation yet (challenging). So we don't know how he'd act in the right situation. He wants to be with other kids so badly. I don't think that he is stressed when he gets silly; but I suppose that it's possible. I think that he just feeds off of whatever they are saying about him, and acting in like. If they get stressed, he takes on their stress most of the time. Lately though, (just in the last week) his maturity level took a giant leap forward in his speech and being able to control his own emotions better, and ven not reflecting an aduls inability to calm themselves.

We want to test him soon. His unique personality tends to bring on naysayers; but we know differently. And we want to have proof to show that he really will do great if challenged appropriately. He is intensely focused when something new is interesting to him.

Thank you for the book suggestions!

Well I have a very silly DS4 (almost 5). Not quite like yours in that he doesn't act things out and pretend...he just acts very silly, immature and annoying sometimes. It's not consistent, and is somewhat based on his environment. He also goes with the flow. If one kid starts to scream and run, he is right behind them. he is getting much better about this, but it's still there. So in his class at church he acts out often, saying silly things, making noises during prayers, etc. At his Montessori school he is a perfect angel. No problems at all. At home, it depends. He behaves and is appropriate most of the time, but has his moments where he just makes lots of noises, sounds, funny words, etc. He tries to baby talk with his little sister which is quite annoying as well when he just won't stop. We find it all odd at times, but have found that he tends to do this more when he just doesnt' know what to do with himself. If we give him something to do it almost always goes away. Anyhow, we are hoping he grows out of it eventually. He is maturing in many ways. And if he is with older kids doing different things he is quite mature.

But what you are describing sounds fairly typical of a child that age. Regarding the OT, most kids can really benefit from those services. But if he is having problems with this particular person that could be a problem.

I will check on books. I do have some recommendations,but not on me. I have a list we got from the psychologist that tested us about books like that. And also books specifically for boys that are gifted. Will post tonight.

My son was similar at age four but I didn't put him in preschool because he had been reading since 2 1/2 and didn't like to color or do crafts and I thought his slight motor delays and hypotonia might put him at risk for being hurt on the playground. He was never aggressive and he rarely threw temper tantrums when he was angry because he could talk things out and we could reason with him. He was never impulsive. He thought before he did anything, in fact he would sometimes sit and do nothing and he would tell me he was just thinking and I thought it was a little odd that a four year old could just sit and think when he could be out playing. But he would also get excessively silly sometimes and acted more like a child with ADHD, especially if he had anything with Red Dye #40. He loved acting things out and he told us he wanted to do musical theater at age 4 so that is the one thing we had him in at that age and he loved it.

When he started half-day Kindergarten at age 5 he did not have behavior problems at school, but I could tell it took a lot out of him and I knew he would have trouble handling a full day because of his sensory issues. He needed to be able to move and take frequent breaks and have frequent snacks and challenging learning materials to learn well and our public school does not allow this so we were told by the principal, teachers, and later the superintendent, that we needed to homeschool.

A lot of people liked my son's sense of humor, especially his older gifted friends, but there were some people who didn't. It was usually those people who think children should be seen and not heard and I tried to limit our time around those people.

I never found any other kids like mine and no books that were really that helpful. I really feel very lucky to have a kid with such a great sense of humor. At 10, his humor is more sophisticated and he is able to make jokes to fit his intended audience. He told me he noticed that his sister prefers the jokes he makes using popular culture references and that I like the ones using history and science or educational references. Sometimes he tickles my funny bone so much that my sides start hurting and I have to tell him to stop talking because he is on a roll and everything that comes out of his mouth is funny. Sometimes it is almost like torture by tickling.

My son didn't learn until Kindergarten that there are people who would not like him because he was too smart. I can understand why a child might say he doesn't want to be a smart kid.

I'm afraid almost to say it but DS (10) acted like a dog, cat, dolphin or fish alot of the time from 2-7. He still has times when he prefers to be an animal instead of a person. In fact last year, DS's career goal was to be a marine biologist that figures out how to turn himself into a fish so that he can really understand them. My reaction was well OK, but before you turn yourself into one, you have to figure out how to turn yourself back!

Your young guy may not have the ability to understand when it is appropriate to be silly and when he needs to stop. But from the sounds of it, your OT doesn't get your son. We did OT with our son at 5 for impusle control, sensory issues and poor core motor strength. Overall, I think it was good for DS, but on the emotional front, it never seemed to do much. However, he had several different OTs and I could see how the interaction between the OT and DS made a big difference in how he progressed.

I can't say if he needs OT, but if he does, you may want to see if any of the OTs near you are a bit more in tune with your son.

Good Luck!

Thank you. It helps to know I am not crazy about the silliness. He was actually a pretty calm chld until we brought the silly out of him. Looking forward to seeing your book list!

Very funny 1st paragraph.:)

The OT gave me exercises to do with him and hasn't changed any of them; so I am not sure what she is for. She has done the same thing each time; and showed me what to do. I think that I will try it on my own diligently for a while and see how it goes. Thank you!

Thank you for your sharing. Our kids are really neat, aren't they?:)