Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Video Games zapping my sons brain

I am worried Nintendo DS is zappong my DS6's brain.
He is addicted and seems to not want to do anything else.
We only allow it not on the weekends but that is all he wants to do even when we give him a time limit it is all he talks about. The other kids have them at school so now what do we do. Do we ban it when all the other kids have it too. From what I hear the other kids are not as obssessed as my DS is. He wants to complete every game! That will take forever. Like his workbooks he does not want to stop until he is done , and these games have hundreds of levels. I dk what to do here, anyone else having similar issues?

We have started setting the kitchen timer for DS6's Nintendo DS time. It has really helped for him to hear the beep--beep--beep when his time is up. I usually let him have 30 minutes on school nights and frequent 30 minute play times on the weekend. I think he should take a break after staring at the small screen for 30 minutes straight.

My DS6 is also obsessed with completing every game he owns. IMO, I didn't want to ban it because it would only make him want it more. I do, however, use the Nintedo DS as his first line of punishment and it does seem to be the first thing that he truly cares enough about to actually remorse about his behavior.

Great advice! A 2 week withdrawal period. It really is an addiction. So many days I was tempted to throw it out the window!

The kitchen timer is a great idea. Now what do you do when you go out? Do you allow him to use it say in the car? I have done this but am thinking this is bad since whereever we go he knows it is in the car and then mopes around wanting to only play Nintendo.

Note to self: Do not get DS5 a DS for his bday/Christmas, even though he is begging for it with everything he has... even though the Wii is "portable", it's not "car-friendly".

I like the idea of the timer! DS5 is the SAME way with his Wii. He's always complaining he has NO other toys and NOTHING else to do. I told DH this past weekend that I was going to remove all of the other toys, so he realizes he does have other options. However, I'm thinking as long as the Wii is around, he would care less (other than his monster trucks).

The WII was another nightmare for us.
We actually sold it on ebay!
We will not buy any other game systems.
I regret buying nintendo ds.
Soem of the kids have a ton of video game systems, but it is bad for those of us w/kids w/an addictive personality.

My son has had a Gameboy since he was five and the Nintendo DS for several years, and I have never felt the need to limit his time on them except when he gets a brand new game that his friends are also getting and then he is competing with them to get to a higher level. He wants to make sure he is at a higher level than they are. He loves it when they call and ask him for advice.

My 10 year old son and his 59 year old dad, whose fun loving playful attitude keeps him young, enjoy playing history related role playing games and strategy games. I have to let them know about 30 minutes in advance when dinner will be ready so they can finish whatever level they are on. As long as they are able to get to a stopping point or save point there is no problem. It is when I try to tell my son that he has to get off a game immediately and he doesn't want to lose all his progress for that level that he might get a little unhappy about it.

I really like the leveling up thing, especially when my son applies it to his SAT prep game, math games, vocabulary games, and puzzle games.

But I would definitely limit his time on the Nintendo DS if I felt it was becoming a problem.

If he cannot walk away from it for two weeks, or you want to toss it, then its a problem!!!

Boys are very susceptible to videogames and as Telepresence begins to become possible in the next few years, games will become even more addictive.


I think this is great. DW and I have a game night once a week.

I was so determined to keep video games out after seeing how addicted my nephews are. But then I agreed to get an old nintendo off ebay (just super mario bros) in an effort to improve processing speed or something, I can't remember what brain thing it was LOL. That's been ok, they're not addicted. But we recently got a vacation home and my nephews donated their old X-box for my kids to play with while there - I hate the 3d stuff. And a friend just gave us WII Sport but we haven't played it yet.

I have made them earn computer/video game time though occasionally we fall off the wagon (I have a little chart on the wall in the kitchen). They get points for doing various random things (5 points for unloading the dishwasher, etc.). Points = minutes of video or computer game time. 5 or 10 points for practicing piano without prodding, same for reading a book that's of significant length for them, same for cleaning up toys without complaining (ok they still complain lol).

And we usually limit playing time to weekends only.

If it's any consolation, a friend of ours recently admitted to having played thousands of hours of video games in his youth, and he's very, very successful and sociable (he's easily HG).

Oh I know for sure it DS can't walk away from it for 2 weeks he will have a fit. He is def addicted he told me he even dreams of video games. I know it is a problem. I am afraid to scar him to get rid of it completely. Although I would love to do so. What do you think? Will I scar him?

Hi Snowgirl,
Earning video game time is interesting. I never thought of that. Maybe I can do this then at least he will be doing other stuff to get video game time. I like this.

I think it's really important to limit time on computers/video games. It can be quite addictive and even when it is educational it still limits other important things. I like the idea of earning time, especially when kids are older. It's important for kids to realize that playing video games is a privilege, not a right (even when they act like they will die without it). Kids often don't think there is anything else to do because they are so wrapped up into video games. So it is important to limit time so that they can see all their other options and get engaged in other things. That's my 2 cents. We don't have the video game problem, but he LOVES the computer and we have to limit time on that as he loves to do puzzles, math games, word games, etc. He probably would play all day if I let him. And even though it is somewhat learning based, it's not a good idea. Also having them set timers teaches them time management as well as important self-regulation skills.

Tracey -- I'm on my phone, so I'll write more about my ds6 later -- he sounds a lot like yours. He loves to play, mostly role-playing games, and would literally play all day, every day if he could. He makes up his own RPGs. All his pretend games are RPGs. He loves them and lives them!

But I have a question -- so what if your ds has a fit over giving games up for two weeks? It'll probably be good for him. Every six months or so, we give ds6 a "detox" period, no video games. He mopes, but he re-learns how to entertain himself and finds new things to occupy his brain.

So ... What's the worst that could happen if you enforce a two-week no-game period? Lots of whining? Tantrums?

Hi Shelly and we ain't taking educational games we are talking Star Wars! And the fighting on it is another issue, is the fighting in Star wars bad?

LOL Mia! The 2 week withdrawal would be a good thing. I am wondering if I should competely ban it? Is that mean?

He will be permanently scarred if he continues to let it dominate his life.

Recently when DS6 hit a teacher at school during one his anger outbursts he lost the Nintendo DS for 7 days. It was a wonderful detox for him. At first he was angry and talked constantly about when he could get it back but after the 3rd or 4th day it was almost forgotten. He played with things in his room that he hadn't touched in ages. When the 7 days were up we actually waiting for him to remind us to give it back to him. Took until almost mid-day.

We also have the rule about only keeping the DS in the car and he only gets to take the DS in the car if the trip is going to be longer than 20 minutes. For short trips we realized it wasn't worth the fight when we arrived at the destination.

Surprisingly DS6 is not as addicted to the Wii. I think it's because it is down in our basement family family room and he doesn't like to be alone. The DS is more portable and he can more easily sit near the rest of his family while he plays.

Good Point Austin!

Yes crisc , the WII wasn't nearly as bad as the nintendo ds since it is portable.

My 8 year LOVES computer games and video games. We have a wii. We use a timer - he is typically allowed 20 minutes of recreational computer time per day with some exceptions. He earns additional time very occasionally (no more than once a week usually). We only allow the Nintendo DS in the car if we are taking a road trip (greater than 2-3 hours). And even in the car, we limit his time (we just got back from a cross country road trip to DC, he got about 1/2 to 1 hour in the car when we were spending 8 to 10 hours on the road.) I like the wii better because he often uses his computer time to play with other kids or with me (I admit, I think the wii is fun!) DS rarely gets into the car without a book to read.

My son still talks about his games and strategies and draws pictures of levels, etc. But it seems fairly well contained and he can focus on other things. DS8 is also limited on other media. I only let him access the computer a limited amount even for educational purposes at this point.

Oh boy, am I so glad that I read this post and to know that I am not alone with the DS fanatic children. I was also very determined to keep the whole video game stuff out of the house and boy I won out until about 2 months ago....my husband had a DS that he used at work to help destress him and DS6 started to watch him play and then pretty much stole the DS from my hubby....so he got his own DS for his birthday. What is it with him wanting to go from start to finish on all of his games???? He completed Phineas and Ferb from start to finish in like a week. With his perfectionist streak, I will hear him throwing a fit when he messes up and then he will actually work forever completing a difficult level, only to wipe it out and start again! We have also begun to limit his time on the DS and i love the whole timer thing!

My DS6 was a little obsessive with computer games. (we don't have a DS or Wii) He'd bargain for computer time and he usually got what he wanted. It took me a while to realize that his computer time had gotten significantly longer.

He has just started taking computer programming for the purpose of eventually being able to write his own game. Since this has started, his addiction to the games themselves seems to have gone away. He now barters for programming time and seems fascinated with the whole process.

I feel like I have the same issues with games at our house. I asked my sons' doc about game addiction and he says "addiction is when it interferes with daily life to the point where other areas are neglected". I've used timers, used them as priviledges, blocked out certain days of the week.... and games seemed to preoccupy my boys' thoughts where they are trying to justify or bargain their way to use it.

My opportunity came last month when our ol' tele finally broke . Because I don't see television as a necessity I took my time replacing it.... about a month. The first two weeks was torturous for them and then.... they finally coped without it. Soon they picked up books and learned other ways to entertain themselves. I also didn't get the constant bargaining and petty arguments about games. We have a new tele now, and I've just put away the systems until summer.

My son has taken to working on programming too. He uses Alice from alice.org. That has been a great find and distraction for DS as well.

DS5 could completely become addicted to video games if I let him. He has a racecar game on the PC that he loves but I limited him to 2 15 minute periods per day AND I require that he do certain things first like pick up toys, get dressed, etc. (whatever I need him to do for me - kind of like the points system but not as formalized). I've managed to replace the racecar game with Crayon Physics, Fantastic Contraptions and Online Rider for now. I feel like the educational value of those is much higher than the racecar game which I find mind-numbing.

Now programming can be addictive.

A friend got a computer when I was 13 and could not get it to work. I read the manual and got it up and running. He lost interest and I bought it from him.

It was summer. I would stay up all night long writing software, falling asleep when I could not keep my eyes open.

I wrote some games and my friends and family became addicted to them, which was fine, because while they played, I would sleep from dawn until after lunch. Then get up, go read or hang out at the pool, then come home and dusk and get started.

I bought a modem and a funky tape drive and some more memory and spent a lot of time doing what later became "war dialing." My uncle found out what I was doing (he'd been a sys admin in the early to mid 60s ) and told me to stop it. LOL. Back then there was no security to speak of. I later got interested in relativity and finite element modelling and wrote quite a few programs on this while in HS.

BBS were starting to become popular and I joined a couple and went to a meet and greet. People could not believe I was me at first. LOL. I did meet adults who took me seriously for the first time in my life, though. That was a wonderful summer.

Today's IDEs are too cumbersome for kids new to programming. It takes more work than I did to tool up.

In my mind's eye, I can see a PG kid who is given access to the 'net and a good linux system at age 12 becoming a very good programmer by age 15 - there is so much material out there. The CUDA/GPU movement is just getting started as well.

Ds6 has a DS at his father's house and begged for a while for one over here -- no way! I don't think he needs *more* access to video games!

Ds6 plays on the laptop here, though we have a Wii and an X-box too. He's much more into complicated RPGs with lots of statistics -- his usual go-tos are WOW and Spore. On his DS, he tells me he loves to play some Pokemon game with a loooong name (when he says it, it's like Ralphie in "A Christmas Story").

He has lots of dramatic pretend play involving levels, powers, spells, abilities, potions, etc., etc. He created his own imaginary game called Super[name], which has been evolving over the past year and half or so -- but remains surprisingly true to its roots, lol.

We don't have a time limit, but he usually plays for about half-hour on weekdays, and an hour or so on weekends. After I decide he's been on long enough, I simply tell him he's got 5 more minutes, and then that it's time to log off. He's learned that if he whines about stopping, then he won't get to play the rest of the day or the next day (and we follow through with that threat!).

We also use "No Video Games" not infrequently as a threat -- it makes for powerful bargaining. To use a Dr. Phil-ism, it's "his currency." It's amazing to see how quickly that threat works! The key to this is, of course, telling him you're going to do it -- and then really doing it, and following through the entire term of the punishment, one day or one week. And after a week, he's a little off it anyway and remembering more things to do on his own, and he actually plays less. So everyone wins!

Tracey -- of course he'll think it's mean for you to take away his gaming for a while. But he's 6 -- he can't regulate himself, so it's up to you! When we think ds needs time away, we simply tell him that we think he's been playing video games too much and that he needs to take a break. We explain that we've noticed that it effects what he chooses to do, and we think it would be good for him to do other things for a week.

We banned ds last year after he started getting in fights at school -- this was almost certainly because he was getting *no* stimulation at school, but we decided that video game fighting wasn't helping. So we banned it. He did fine with the adjustment. He even understood why we were doing it. He didn't play for a good 6 months. We let him start again, and he's eased back into playing -- actually, we're getting close to a "detox" period again.

I think as long as the child controls the video game, it's ok. It's when the video game starts controlling the child that you've got a problem.

Shari -- where is your ds taking a programming class? I'd love to have ds do something like that!

We recently got a Wii. DS7 is only allowed to play Wii after dinner. I told him he is only allowed to play Wii after dark and he is mine as long as there is daylight. DS7 likes Wii, but sometimes he would rather play a strategy/war game on the computer that doesn't have fast moving images.

During summer and holidays, DS is allowed to play educational games on computer during in the afternoon, because I need to put DD down for a nap.

My own parents locked up the TV since I entered KG. I was not allowed to watch one single thing on TV except whatever they watched... news and weather report. Computer did not exist back then, so I read a lot when I was young. I believe my parents saw TV as evil as I see video games.

This is exactly what dh and I have been afraid of - it is hard enough right now to get ds8's attention, we have been adamant about no DS/gameboy. THEN the psych who recently tested him, said it might help with some of his social issues. We were surprised. He said they're very attractive to other kids and a conversation piece. We really don't know what to think. Whenever I see a cluster of kids around one kid with a game I wonder, 'is that good?'. Any thoughts on the social aspect? Dr. also said for a kid like ds less encouragement to be unique might be better...

So far ds has not gone overboard with games, tv a bit, but generally he's just as interested in a lego or craft project or a book.

I do think it can be a social thing. I've heard this from my friend's as well. That it gave DC something in common with other kids. My son loves SPORE. He and his best friend and younger brother love to watch each other play and discuss strategies. When they are playing outside, sometimes they continue their SPORE game orally, developing their mental game as they run around like hooligans. They even WRITE about SPORE - gasp - boys writing! LOL. I think you just have to decide where you line is and as another poster said, make sure the boy is controlling the game rather than the game controlling the boy. In the summer, computer games dwindle as we spend more time outdoors.

Video games definitely helped my son socially. It gave him something to talk about with other kids when he couldn't really talk to them about sports or his other interests. His friends love to come to our house to play with the PS3. They play other friends online who couldn't come to the party but have their own PS3, and my son has met his friends' friends who enjoy the same games. They have so much fun with this and there is no way I would deny my son this little bit of fun.

I want my son to have some good memories of his childhood and I know he will remember some really good times with his friends.

My son plays games like Professor Layton's Curious Village. It has logic puzzles that require math knowledge and it is a fun way to keep him thinking about math, which is his least favorite subject.

I try to find fun ways to encourage my son to keep learning and video games and computer games have always been a part of it because they work for him. The only time he plays games that don't require thinking or strategy is when I want him to memorize or listen to something that he might think is boring. I can read to him and he can easily answer questions about what I read and he retains the information. I think he is able to pay better attention to what he is learning while playing a video game than he is if he were not playing a game. My husband and I used to listen to a radio at work when we had to do work that was tedious and boring. But I know that one of my son's friends tunes everything else out when he is playing a video game so it would not work for him.

Yep Belle Same here LOL!!
The wanting to complete the games is bad!
Don't get Star Wars it is over 200 levels!
No my DS6 searches for cheat sheets on the internet to learn how to pass the levels.

I like the idea of bartering for computer/game time

Yeah well yeah "other areas neglected" Well yeah I would say he wouldnt even EAT if I didnt force him to stop!
So yeah we have to detox!

The programming end is a great idea. I am actually a programmer myself but not video games LOL!

Well at least programming is productive!

Yes I know Mia he will hate me and say I am the worst mommy in the world but you are right he can't regulate it himself.
You are smart not to get a ds for your son. I can't tell you how much I regret it. Before the ds he was fine on the computer and was not obsessed because the computer was not portable. What a big mistake to get the ds.

WOW ! So no TV for you at all after kindergarten??????? For real??

We had a play date recently where the other kid brought their ds and both kids sat there and started to play nintendo ds like zombies. I made them put them away it was horrible to see!

Mia, I just started asking everyone I could think of and found a friend of a friend that is a software engineer. He's giving DS6 lessons once a week.

So you have limited the games to educational ones?

I'd like to add one other point.

It takes a lot of thought to be good at a game as well as good reflexes.

I think its better to play one very long stretch, say 2-6 hours, then not go back for a week, while thinking about my mistakes and the flow of the game and the scenes.

If a kid just plays it, then he or she is not going to get better. Its just going through the motions. The mind and body need time to rest and recover.

If you continue to allow them to play, perhaps posing the question, "how to get better more efficiently?" and "Do you enjoy the game more if you take a week off or just play it constantly?"

Shari -- Ha. Dh is a Linux engineer so I suppose he could just give ds lessons, but I think ds would respond better to someone else... Maybe I'll ask dh to ask around at work.

Austin--Block play times are a really good idea, especially for the games ds likes to play. I'll have to think about that ...

For my ds, the games he plays aren't "edcational," but he learns a *lot* from his game playing.

Interesting point Austin. For sure 30 minutes won't do it. He reads his cheat sheets and works hard getting to levels etc. So to shut it off after he gets to a level after 30 minutes I feel bad. But is it ok to play for 6 hours say on a weekend? UGH man I am so conflicted here.

Ok maybe a few hour stretch on a weekend day. And that is it for now.

Maybe not 6 hours.

Maybe 3?

And he has to have a plan to get better - to have a purpose in his madness.

I think what you will end up doing is teaching him time management, research skills, applied planning, and focus.

You could be his PM and review his plan and progress..

Give this a few months, then pose to him that he enlist his friends by delegating some questions..LOL

I used to be the same as a kid. I remember staying up ALL night w/a friend to complete mario brothers! Of course didn't make it to school the next day. I remember to this day how we killed the last guy we had to jump on his head to kill him. That was almost 20 years ago and I remember so vividly. And you know what that was the LAST video game I played!

DW would stay up all weekend playing games with her dad and sister. (After homework was done.) They'd be dragging come Monday.

Ha - my brother and I were much the same! And our mom was our partner in "crime". We had an original atari and Nintendo system.

I feeeeel soooo old, or at least feel like I didn't have very cool stuff when I was a kid. We had the library and the backyard.
My several years younger brother was allowed to buy a video game console for himself when he was around 14 or so, he really enjoyed it. He is the most successful and 'normal' of the lot of us, too, come to think of it.


Dh and I are now talking about the "ds"...we do have wii and tv, and Ds8 plays a nice amount on his pc in his room, so I don't feel like we're depriving him, but if it could help bring ds in easier contact with other kids, sure, why not give it a go.

I am seeing them on ebay for around $120 used...what are the coolest games for 8y.o. boys? Is the Spore thing for kids that young?
I saw some lego games, which I know he's enjoyed in pc. I will ask ds too, of course, but suggestions here are always good info.

Tracey, I hope I am not in your regrets-boat soon! but I can come back here and blame everyone...
Oh, yeah, and mostly the dr... (I really am just kidding!)

I never heard of the spore thing!
Star Wars is it w/my DS6 for now until he completes the 200 or so levels UGH!!! Well at least he does read the cheat sheets and those things are hard to read that is the only good thing!
If I had to do it over we would not have let SANTA buy it for xmas!!! So think carefully about getting it LOL!!!!

DW went back to college FT a few years ago.

During class break, she'd pick a new videogame and master it in a few days. I'd fall asleep and she'd stay up playing.

One game was Age of Empires.

One night I watched over her shoulders while she started it with little men placidly chopping wood while she read the directions.

The next morning I woke up and she was flipping across the screen so fast I got seasick.

The action I did finally catch had giant siege engines rolling over terrified villagers. She was laughing maniacally.

She wants me to teach her Chess...I am SOOO afraid.

Lol! Sounds like you should be a'feared!

Thanks folks for the game suggestions. Ds is interested in pokemon diamond or something like that.

MON, would you mind elaborating on Animal Crossings. I'd seen it and considered it for the girls but I haven't purchased it yet. I was wondering what it was like and why the kids liked it.....

TIA!
Neato

I like Animal Crossings. It's like you live in a town and you have to go fishing, catch bugs and sell them for a living. The animals move in and out of town. You talk you the animals, play games with them and solve their problems. It's fun and relaxing. There are festivals in town, fishing tournaments, and in special holidays, like Christmas, Santa will visit your town. I see that as a girl's game. DS doesn't like it as much.

Thanks Cindi. It might be a good one for DD6, just because the fast moving games bother her visually. She was playing guitar hero and after a few minutes ran out and said it bothered her to look at the screen. Pukes in the car...etc......

I'll see if I can get it used, then I can return it no problem it doesn't work for her.

We seem to have the opposite problem at our house. The girls are always up in my grill or up to some kind of trouble around the house. You know to be worried when it's quiet!

I'm probably the only mom in America who could be heard shouting(on occasion, only!):

GO SIT DOWN AND WATCH T.V. RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Neato,

I say that to DS2(Fric) and DS4(frac) constantly. Neither one of them is a tv watcher and it's impossible to get 2 minutes!

Oh, I hear you! I try to throw my kids outside when it's even halfway-decent weather, but in the winter, when Mommy needs her alone-time...I must confess that I use TV and computer games as my friend and sanity saver!

LOL--I loved that ds was a tv-loving baby/toddler! I *loved* that I could plop him in front of Baby Einstein and, later, Dora and Diego, and count on an uninterrupted half-hour.. It was enormously helpful in getting stuff done around the house!

With his gaming, though, he's much more interested in interaction than he is with tv. It's kind of awful! Honey, I don't know if you should pick the item with +3 spirit, or the one with +3 strength!

Some of the toys my kids play with are just as bad. Do I REALLY want to hear all about this Bakugon or that Pokemon creature?

No! I really don't!

And DS7 is just about as bad about retelling the plots of TV shows he has watched. He goes on and on...

I can feign polite interest for about 3.67 minutes before I just have to say, "Sweetie, get to the point and then go play. I just can't listen anymore!"

It sounds bad, but they talk ALOT!!!! And fast!!!!!

DD9 hasn't been interested in Pokemon at all, but now DD6 wants me to buy her some stuff because a little girl she plays with has the cards.

Dare I???????????

Oh, no, 'Neato, don't do it! Ds has a horrible Ultimate Pokemon Guide book that I got him from a school book fair. Baaaad idea. In lieu of a bedtime story these days (he's gone off Calvin and Hobbes a bit), he makes me go through the Pokemon manual with him, selecting our favorite Pokemon and making a list of them! "But Mama, Eevee has blah blah blah actions!" OMG, it's enough to drive a woman mad.

LOL! We had a 6 month Pokemon phase at our house that hurt my brain. DS has never been very good at drawing, but he suddenly got very adept at drawing Pokemon characters. Happily, we're not talking about Pokemon anymore. Sadly, we're talking about Super Mario Galaxy instead.

I just chalk it up to GT obsession. If it's not one thing, it's gonna be another! Pick your poison.

Be warned that if your DD6 plays Pokemon, 'Neato, my boys will find her suddenly fascinating! Pros and cons, right?

I thought they already thought she was fascinating! Remember, she was teaching them all kinds of new *sign language* Ha ha ha!!!

LOL! Well, they don't seem to have taken it up. (Happily!)

But POKEMON?!? Well, that's a whole different kettle of fish! That matchmaking we were joking about doing? Well, we might not have to! Girls who like Pokemon are a-okay in my boys' estimation!

Dh and I are ROFLOAO! Ds went through a *horrible* Super Mario Galaxy phase when the game first came out. Every friggen thing had stars and princesses and galaxies ... He was Mario for Halloween last year!

I am sure I am taking this thread off topic but my question kind of has to do with games in the sense of computer games. (Told you ... off topic and I hesitate to post here or just start a new topic. Let me know if I should do so.)

I question computer use with our kids and is there an age where it is too young? I had mentioned to my close friend how DD 2 1/2 is really good on the computer. She knows the in and out of it including how to load CDs; start the computer; maneuver through the menus, etc. She is also very capable with the mouse and clicking on links that are tiny and how to get around in programs including exiting from programs. My friend was shocked at her abilities but more that she thinks she is too young to be on a computer and claimed new research that has come out to support that children should not be on computers so early and it could be harmful. I haven't seen any of the research and really have no idea what the reasoning is for the idea of harmful. I certainly do not allow her to freely explore the internet and never leave her to her own demise. Someone is always in the room when she is on the computer (not that she gets stuck very often and needs help). She is also limited to how much time she gets on the computer and some days, like today she doesn't even get near it.

Has anyone heard this information? Could someone direct me to information about it? And is 2 1/2 too young for using a computer even though she clearly has the ability to use it as well as my mother. (What can I say ... generation gap)

Ds was playing Thomas the tank engine and other pc games at about 3.5. I remember he just loved it, no negative affects that I am aware of. It was a nice arena to express his abilities with shapes, color, etc. as those games were educational. Just a week ago I found his old leapster and dd has now claimed it. I am surprised she is getting pretty good with the pen and putting together the shape drawings. I would be interested to find out if letting her on the pc is bad.

I've had people give me the lecture about the computer before too. My DD9 was very computer savy at two and all my kids used it young. I lean toward it being one of those moderation things. Also, take into account that GT kids tend to do many things younger, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Now letting them sit in front of it all day at that age would be a bad...

My DD9 and one of my DD6's are Pokemon ga ga. My oldest DD started getting really bad when she found out that the creator has aspergers (which she has). I tried for a year to put her off prior and kept the cards to a minimum all to no avail. I'm just a mean mommy who limits DS time "to a not fair level". It amazes me how their little minds can absorb and catalog all those stats on each of the different charaters since there are what, something like 350 now!

Everything in moderation I guess. Sitting in front of a tv like a zombie isn't good either but that is another issue!

Yes, I would think the computer would be better than the TV, since one has to be active on the computer to make anything happen.

Our preschool has educational computer games available for 3yos to use for a few minutes each day in the classroom, so I don't think it's a problem for a GT 2.5yo.

What's supposed to happen to them if they use the computer? What ill effects are they supposed to suffer?

This was/is my take on the computer: fine as long as in moderation. And we only allow her on educational programs. The two she uses is pbskids.org and starfall.com. She also has a few programs loaded from CD but all educational.

I did a little research on this idea of harmful to the young and this is what I have come up with:

http://www.acei.org/inf.vol.13.4.htm - the article is entitled "Computers and the Very Young"
By Patricia Cantor, Plymouth State College, Plymouth, NH

From this article I think I found the main opponent of computer use for toddlers:

Fool�s gold: A critical look at computers in childhood. www.allianceforchildhood.net


I am still reading the fool's gold but up to this point in the reading I have not been swayed to the other side. Mostly there is a jump to conclusions that children are left to play on the computer for many hours and it takes the place of other activities such as playing outside and reading books.

I have to say, BLESS THE DS! I have a very reluctant early reader who felt like a bit of a freak that he was reading and wouldn't perform. My parents bought him a DS for Christmas with a Pokemon game. The pokemon obsession ensued... as did a three year jump in reading level. Most DS games have quite a bit of reading in them. I simply told him "You can play but I"m not reading it to you." So he had to read it to himself. Then he read the strategy guide, the collectors guide and taught himself to play the card game- all at 5.

We also have a Wii. No Wii on school nights unless you've earned it. I have a sticker chart on the wall- 5 stickers means 30 min of Wii time on a school night. All 5 stickers come from "brain food" where he has to do some type of school work- handwriting, math, journal work, etc. Since is school is lame- this is our version of "unschooling". If he wants to play Wii, he'll have a snack afterschool then hit the table for about an hour of work. If not, then he doesn't. No pressure from me- no negotiations.

The DS is mostly in the car. We have a 30 min each way drive to school and we carpool with another boy. They play together etc. I can totally see how the DS is a social object- my kid has learned a lot of topics that help him chat with older kids. Most don't expect him to have 100 Pokemon characters in his head or to be able to give tips for Super Mario Galaxy. It works for a way in!

I've gone back and tried to find the study several times when this topic has been referenced. I'm not at my home computer but I know there is at least one study that HG+ children relate differently to the computer, get more information from television and just process the information differently. So in general, the "zombie" idea doesn't really hold the same weight for slightly older HG children.

Ok, I should first admit that i didn't read all 8 pages of this topic! haha

Intensity and the need to 'finish' it ... but with these games, you can't 'finish' it.

How different is it from reading a really good book and you can't put it down? Try watching half of a good movie and turn it off to finish it later? Now add the fact that it is a child who can't possibly have the self-control that an adult has (and considering most adults have self-control issues with these very same things)

...

I try to talk about this feeling of wanting to finish a section of the game, the intense immersion of their being into it, and how that feels. How does it feel for them to not have 'control'? What would they feel if they could 'control' themselves? How could they reward themselves when they are able to 'stop'?

etc etc

Ds8 is now in possession of the "DSi", the newest coolest darn thing I've seen in a long time. He got it in the mail the other day. He is totally stoked about the pokemon game we got him, although he's been late in warming to pokemon card game preferring yu-gi-oh (but there's very few folks around to play that one with so he's finally coming around to the card game after all).
I am letting him go a little hog-wild these first few days (last days of spring break) to kind of get it out of his system. First day he just really wonked out with it. He would hardly give it to me for the 5 minutes needed to get it connected to the web. I did announce that there would be much less screen time once school is back in session, and in general.

A couple days before we got it, I asked if he was really excited about it. He said, "Yeah, now I can fit in a little bit!". I had not spoken with him about that at all - nor did Dh. I asked if he'd talked to daddy about it, and he said, "No, mom everyone just has one!!". (I have added a 'DUH!' for myself to the beginning of that sentence.)

Funnest things so far, don't know if these are all available on all models:
Recording obnoxious sounds and replaying. Recording your sister's obnoxious/cute sounds and replaying.
Brain Age Express - Math (we got a couple free downloads w/purchase). The reason he/we picked that one was not the hoped for 'ooh math!' but because it has a drawing and dramatic expression training also built in. Those are really fun, the math is too, but so far not a focus for him.
- Taking pictures of oneself/everything and messing with them in the photo editing area (aka using diff. 'lenses'). You get all kinds of freaky/silly results.
- being able to hop online wherever there's an available access point.

All in all an incredible piece of gadgetry, and one pretty satisfied kid.

(We'll see soon enough if we've created a monster. )

Isn't that a shame? That's how Pokemon started for DS - I hated the darn little creatures. It just doesn't make any sense to me, but EVERYONE else had it, knew about it, played it, and so on. Finally, I relented and let DS start playing.

We handle the video games a little differently. DS is an only and when there are no kids around to play with, he plays the games quite a bit. He reads and other stuff, but he enjoys the video games. DH and I make it a point to watch him play or ask questions or listen to what he's telling us about whatever game he's playing and a lot of times we even play with him.....well, DH plays, I just push the buttons and pretend . I personally don't get the whole video game thing, but DH does and there is a thinking aspect to alot of what they play, so I guess they're not all bad.

Our rule has always been that if the game(s) become so important that he'd pass up playing with friends and interacting with humans, then it's become a problem. He and his friends do play the games together sometimes, but if the weather's nice, they'd rather be outside which is what I love to see. I tend to agree with the other poster who said that (paraphrasing) stopping a video game in the middle is likened to not being able to put down a really good book or only watching half of a great movie. I'm pretty sure this is how DS views it and we try to be considerate of that, without letting him rot the day away.

eema - that is exactly the reason why we went down the DS and Wii route, we wanted to give both our DS's something that they have in common with the other children their ages. My husband sees no problem with gaming - he is an only child and spent a lot of time playing computer games and has turned out OK (well according to him - LOL).

They are not allowed to play during the school week, and have an hour (sometimes a little more) a day on the weekend. If their behaviour is bad then they will have the "privilege" taken away, or at least some of their Nintendo time!

This seems to have worked for us, as otherwise they would play all the time

JDAx3, like you, I don't get this whole video game thing!

Oh yeah, as long as when the weather is good we can all have fun outside, ... then the games have not taken over. Phew!

If child's decision is rather to stay inside to play video games ... uh oh

That's exactly how it is at our house! And I fully understand, as I don't want to quit a game without saving it, either!

My DH and I are both games addicts (I don't know that he would admit it, LOL) and I really don't think DS6 is as bad as we are. He will get obsessed with something for a while, but it wanes and turns to something else soon enough. I myself have been known to devote every waking hour to a game (can anyone say "Civilization" or "Myst"?) until the obsession wears off--I haven't been that bad in quite a few years, however.

I guess what I'm saying is we just kind of let it pass on its own. He will play for two or three hours and then just put it down and go outside to do something else all of a sudden.

Had to track down this thread when I read about this product (gameDR): http://www.digitalinnovations.com/electronics-accessories/gamedr-video-game-timer.html

You set a timer, and it shuts the electricity off of the gaming unit when the time is up.

All kids are different in their susceptability to this obsession. For a year or two, around ages 5-7 we battled this addiction. Had to buy the new game, obsessed with playing, wouldn't do anything else. Now at 8 I can't even interest him in a game! I will say that I sometimes limited play or took it away but I was not very consistent and in the end I let him choose his own limits. It was actually when that happened that he reached saturation level and grew bored with the games. We have Wii, Playstation and DS and they are all three sitting alone. :-) I never thought that day would come. He does enjoy some computer games now like Civ. IV and Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean but has no trouble turning them off to go do something else. Hope this eases some frustrated parents...

This might belong on the brag thread but relates here. I was reading through my DS8's journal entries from the school year and came across the following paragraph...

"I was playing a hard video game called Pokemon Leaf Green. It was my first time ever playing video games. I was excited. At first I got frustrated and said nonsense words like 'flobber worm' and 'Sphinx'. I played every second of the day; I could not stop. It was sooooooooooooo fun. I played it while watching a movie; when we were in the car; when I was eating dinner. I even played it at 7:30 when I was supposed to be in bed. I hid it under my pillow. When I got my first gym badge I was flabbergasted! I kept on going. In fact, sometimes I was so excited I was quivering."

There are about 8 pages relating his video game obsession. This lasted until baseball season and then we were on to that. Now we are onto gymnastics and the computer (Pirates of the Caribbean and Civilization IV)Just thought his perspective on his video game craze was funny.

In my household, there is no question that we are technology obsessed. Four computers (one per person), Wii, Xbox360, DS. I decided that I would go down the route of letting my sons choose what they wanted to do as long as it did not last too long. My children can both play for hours at a time on new games, and I know the excitement of the new toy, so I let them. But, if it lasts longer than a couple of days, then I start pushing them to go outside.

My older one generally balances well on his own. He plays a bit, then wants to go see his friends. My younger one is obsessed, but he knows he is and it annoys him. I never thought I'd hear a six-year-old say, "Mom, turn off the tv cause I get sucked in and I want to do something else."

My theory is that the more of a "normal" thing it is to do, the less likely I'll come home to a pair of teenagers who rebel by playing obsessively 24/7.:) I'm not sure it will work, but we'll see.