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    #41237 03/13/09 01:41 PM
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    lilswee Offline OP
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    Hi I just joined the list a few days ago and have been reading many posts with interest. I had found the Davidson website before but hadn't delved deep enough to find the forums.

    I have two DDs, 8 and 4 (minus 3 days LOL!). They are very challenging to say the least. I can't say that I'm in gifted denial, exactly, although I was surprised at DD8 scores on the screening test our school uses. People have always told me she was bright and I had been in a GT program, DH isn't sure if he was in GT but he took advanced classes. I didn't know what that meant exactly except that I seemed to de well in school and learn quickly. So it does not surprise me that she got into a GT Program. I left out our sob story about school testing, we haven't done individual testing. Starting in 4th grade I think our GT program here will be sufficient although it's lacking acceleration until Jr High and we definitely need it in Math. There are some acceleration options that require Credit by Exam Tests; however, that part of a longer story. I'm not finished investigating yet and our lack of acceleration is sort of our (DH and mine)fault.

    I started Aleks Level 3 at Thanksgiving mainly due to frustration with no challenge at school and figuring two engineers should be able to teach most levels of math. We work about 15 minutes a night and we completed Lv3 and are most of the way through Level 4 and she's getting her facts. I should mention she hates to memorize so this was a challenge just to get her to do it, she would rather figure stuff out in puzzle like fashion or just know it. She is also bright enough to know that I made up the Aleks requirement, not her teacher so I constantly get asked why or challenged and told I want to watch Disney. She's a great manipulator always has been, works with most people other than mom or dad.

    This is where I ask for advice or maybe reinforcement. My DH will hear her complaints at times and worry that I'll burn her out. I try to tell him that she is a drama queen to the max and that she does this about all things that conflict with her idea of fun at the time. We had an incident last night and I'm getting better at being calm. We're trying to do quick tables (math facts) and she is letting the timer run up due to the TV. She finally irritates DH and he pauses the TV and then she gets the facts right off. I was being patient since she is already ahead and not all that worried. I just tend to deal with the distractions to a point. Later he reiterates his worry and says she works all the time. I'm thinking maybe 15 minutes for me, she's not being stretched at school and watches TV most of the time. He considers Soccer and Gymnastics as required committments vs fun so they don't count to him as down-time. I think she gets plenty of downtime. We do skip Aleks on sports days and sometimes cut it short.

    At times I do feel a little like the mean mom, but I want to teach her to focus on something that will be a challenge so that she will learn to work rather than skate. I admit, I skated but was valedictorian, DH skated as an A/B student. Sophmore year in College was tough for me, once I learned to go to class and study Engineering was a breeze as well. I want better for her. I'd rather she learn to work before college smile.

    So am I the mean mom to ignore the whines of the drama queen? I should say that after all the complaining last night due to interference with TV, I got asked to add the 11s and 12s to the table. In any case thanks for listening.

    Mary

    Last edited by mschaff; 03/13/09 01:46 PM.
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    It seems completely reasonable to me that she put some effort into challenging math before any TV. smile

    It may help if you explain to her that there are children in her class who ARE being challenged in math at school. Since she's been blessed with an ability to learn more quickly, you have a responsibility as a parent to make sure she's not deprived of the opportunity to make mistakes, stretch and grow in math.

    It's probably better to work through the drama now because I'm guessing it will become more difficult in the future.


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    Sounds like my drama queen. We use ALEKS here as well with my three oldest. Quicktables are a daily requirement until they are completed. I'm even meaner since my younger girls do 20 minutes 5/days and paper drills on Saturday. Once in a while if one is really having trouble/frustrated they can do a worksheet instead (printed from ALEKS) or drills on paper at my discretion. You are not being unreasonable and actually following the Kumon method of math, at least 15 minutes of work a day, they require 7 days a week through fifth grade. We use their workbooks at times as well and for my older daughter once she finished the quicktables.


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    I would cut out the TV time until a certain time in the evening and make it completely independent of doing the Aleks. Let her get really bored for a week with no afterschooling, and then bring it back in as a way to keep from being bored.

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    lilswee Offline OP
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    Just wanted to thank you for your responses. I have tried explaining but maybe not in the exact words from above. I will try OHGrandma's approach which is sort of what I had come to but maybe not for a whole week. We do leave off the TV at times so I knew that was an option from the start. Apparently OHGrandma's option 2 only took about 4 days, LOL! All of the grandparents were visiting this weekend for DD4 (just) bday so we did nothing. Monday night I had no arguing even though it is spring break (no vacation for us, but yay on the shuttle launch!)

    My GT denial usually consists of times when DD8 just gets things on Aleks that seem really easy to me so of course she should get them easily, right? Then my friend who used to teach 5th grade tells me that her 5th graders would still have issues on the concepts that are easy for DD8.



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