Oh and someone told me once that DD5 didn't "go underground" as I thought, but rather she regressed to where she should be because her home environment had been highly stimulating all the years before she went to school. Emphatically, no! The only change was that she was surrounded by ND age peers and teachers who only expected the bare minimum - if that! for long periods of time, and she learned that she was different and "adjusted" to fit in, and even then she still spent 90% of her time in solitary endeavors. The other 10% was during circle time when she was required to sit in a group with the other kids but not actually interact with them - now that I think about it does *that* count as socializing? - and outside play. Regarding outside play, this usually entailed a few games of tag, but even then the teachers said she did her own thing for the most part, unless one counts the fact that she let herself be bullied "so the other kids would play with her". Double Bleh!
...
P.S. I am not anti-school or preschool in any way. I was severely disappointed in how it turned out for DD though, especially, since this was supposed to be one of the best schools in the area. I think if the right fit is found any school can be great! I hope it works out well for any one going that route.
We had the same kind of experience, and it's why I always sneer inwardly (silently!) when anyone asks me about "socialization" and homeschooling.
DS7 was developing bad social habits at school because he thought he was smarter/better than everyone because he was never challenged. He had really no friends left in 1st grade (though he had had lots of friends when he was more challenged in pre-K and K) because he bossed everyone around in class as a way of keeping his brain occupied. He missed recess nearly every day because of his acting out. He was angry and sad and lonely.
And this is better than homeschooling--even if he stayed home alone with me all day (which he doesn't)--because...??? This is positive socialization? Ugh!
Public school is pretty much always my first choice for kids. But sometimes our first choices don't work out. One size really does not fit all!
Honestly, I wish schools would get it that sometimes they have cause and effect backwards when it comes to behavior! I wish people in general understood that sometimes--not always--putting a GT kid with older kids is a plus in the socialization column!
<End rant>
