Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Is there another country for gifties?

Does anyone know of a better place to live when your child is gifted? I am starting to realize that working teacher to teacher, school to school is going to make the next decade a nightmare and I'm beginning to want out.

I love the USA and all of the freedom but its education system and its teachers are hurting my baby! Has anyone seriously considered leaving and if so, where to?

I was in Southern Germany from grade 6 to grade 8. I repeated 6th grade so I could move up a tier as I had learned the language in less than 6 months (so 4 years total in their system). They wanted me to move up a tier but needed specific scores to do that. The system felt that if I repeated 6th grade I would be better able to handle the curriculum. I do not think this was necessary. They advance the tiers in 5th grade, 7th grade and again in 10th. They have a tiered education system. You can PM me if you'd like. I have nothing but awesome things to say about the system there.

There is the homeschool nation... It's a lot easier than packing up and moving to another country!

I had the same sort of concern: every year was going to be another battle to even begin to get DS7 what he needed--and usually my Herculean efforts weren't going to come *close* to getting him what he needed. So instead, I chose to spend my time and efforts on his actual education, on homeschooling.

So far so good for us. You might choose not to go this route, but it sounds like it's something you should probably at least look into, given your current state of mind. You know?

I agree with Kriston,

There are lots of options here. If you're not comfortable with homeschooling, you can look into montessori, private, charter schools. The list goes on and on. All of which are much more easily attained than changing countries!

We did have him in a private preschool where he acted up because the work was too easy. He was the youngest in class and finished way before the other kids and then, went bonkers out of sheer boredom. They refused to accelerate him.

So, we went to a private montessori for the next two years. You score a 0 (not presented to student), 1 (presented) 2 (in progress) or 3 (mastery). His first report card was all 2's and 3's even though he joined the class several months in. By the first couple months of the next year, he had mastered every thing. The school acknowledged his intelligence but refused to accelerate him. He was bored, told them he was bored but they told him they needed to focus on slower kids and he should just be patient. He turned into a raving maniac, wandered around, talked to other kids who were hard at work, drew a lot of pictures. We didn't quite "get it" and didn't realize that we needed to advocate or move him into a different school.

Now he's in public K so you can draw your own conclusions about what that's like!

It's rough, no doubt about it. Pretty much everyone here sympathizes, I think.

So what do you plan to do about it? Will you advocate at the public school or try something else?

We did a social preschool, a Montessori school with the same problems you are mentioning, and the public school with one skip. None of those were the right choice for us. We now do a partial day where my DD9 goes to public for ELA, music, and spanish, and homeschools for math, science, history, gym and art. My younger kids are exclusively homeschooled for now. You have to find what works for you and your child.

Moving to another country seems drastic and I don't think you would necessarily get a better reception with more choices. I think that everyone here can definately feel your pain. Now you need to sit down and look at all your options and decide what plan to pursue. What do you plan to do? Why is he only in K? What does the public school have to say? What have they tested him with and what were the results?

I am still trying to understand my options. From what I've read on this forum and discussed with a couple of psychs is that he must go to a gifted or a gifted friendly school. Option B is homeschool. Option C is fleeing. So, I'm having the WISC done. That will determine whether a gifted school is an option. I also need to call around because I now understand that there are gifted friendly schools of all varieties and just because it's a montessori doesn't mean that it's gifted friendly.

If he's homeschooled, do I have to stick to a certain timeframe or can he finish say, first grade, between now and next year? Does it work like that? Can you go in and out of homeschool or do privates frown upon hs kids?

Homeschooling regulations vary from state to state, so I'm hesitant to advise you without knowing more about your specific situation. You might try Googling your state name and "homeschool laws" or something to see what you need to know, at least in broad strokes.

But in most places, it's fine to be ahead of the public schools, just not behind. That's the main reason that homeschooling is so appealing to many parents of GT kids, though there are other benefits, too. DS7 is studying pre-algebra, is doing 8th grade science, read an abridged (but not "dumbed down") version of Great Expectations and is doing pretty much at-age-level social studies and history. So there's no need for us to stick to any specific timetable. But our state's laws are pretty HSing-friendly...

He's also learning Arabic because he asked to. I found someone who could teach it and figured, "Why not? It will help to slow things down a little and give him a different experience." The flexibility of HSing is great!

As for how accepting schools are of HSed kids...different schools are different, of course; but around here, the private (and public!) schools seem perfectly accepting of homeschooled kids. I know several families who have floated in and out of public, private and home schools without any significant problems. (A few minor annoyances...) We do have a large and active secular homeschooling community, however, and LOTS of GT kids in the group. If homeschoolers are rare where you are, you might have more trouble. You'd have to ask around to see how things are where you live.

If we can help you research, just say the word! We're not homeschool-pushers around here, but we're happy to help if someone has questions.

The US Public school system is not monolithic - it varies greatly in terms of underlying philosophy.

There are a few very good GT schools from K-12 in major metro areas. I'd look for the parent support groups and talk to the parents to get the information and a "feel" for it.

Some schools will "conditionally" admit your child and then you can move into the district with this understanding.

I've read many times of PS in not so great places being really good for gifted kids. They can better acknowledge differences in kids and are better at differeniating and are more willing to grade skip than PS in more affluent areas and even private schools. IT seems the more the school thinks it's doing a great job for all students, the less it is will to differentiate b/c it sees no reason.

Wow! I was just thinking the same thing. Recently decided it would be better for everyone if I focused on what I could do rather than try to change the minds of all the MEATHEADS in the PS.
We spent yesterday at an Art Museum where my son learned more than he has in all 100 days of 1st grade. Don't get me started on the stupid 100 day craft project! So for me it seems the nation of HS is the way to go.
On the Montessori - I will say from personal experience - you have to be very careful. There are schools out there that call themselves Montessori but are #1 not certified (don't have to be certified by Montessori to call the school Montessori) and #2 have no concept of child-centered education. My son was reading at 3 when he entered the Montessori. He wanted to read & do the same work as the older Kindergarten kids in his class. The teacher would not allow him to access the older kid's books or materials until he completed (not just demonstrate proficiency) each step of their curriculum! They had a rigid curriculum from the local PS that they were using. Even at 3 my son was asking why he had to do worksheets if he already knew how to read.
Too bad there are not more Sudbury Schools in this country. I hear so many wonderful things about the Sudbury Method.

I'd be interested to hear about how rewards are used (or not) in Swiss schools and how they approach grading and assessment.

Thanks for posting this, kcab. It's always interesting to hear how things are done in other countries. IMHO, the culture of rewards is completely out of hand here in the US.

Yes, I agree. Perhaps I am the only one who thinks fleeing the country is rather silly. Perhaps you are only joking.

There is no perfect school district in any state OR country. Period. There are plenty of wonderful schools out there that support the needs of gifted students that won't require you to get a passport. Come to mine. It's a great school, supports acceleration and everything.

Just had to share....(I can't remember who recommended it to me but)....I just finished the most amazing book that just came out called "the new Global Student...Skip the SAT, save thousands on tuition, and get a truly International Education" by Maya Frost - it's about a famiy that escaped all the stress of AP, SAT, college applications, running the rat race of highschool - they pulled their 3 teenagers out of highschool and sold everything and just left the country - the mom wrote the book to help other families realize that there is a way to get an amazing well rounded education outside of the US and then come back with well rounded, world traveled young people who have had an opportunity to travel abroad, have a universal outlook about people and places and events happening around the world...they also explain other options instead of AP...the use of enrolling in community college classes with dual enrollment... this book was just packed with amazing information and she was an excellent write...I highly recommend it for anyone who is looking at out of the box children and other options for education :-) My family has honestly been looking at other options in a few ears outside of the US...my father just left the country 2 years ago and they are now citizens of New Zealand and love it. :-)

My 2 cents: We lived in Sweden for a period of time and I wouldn't recommend their educational system (except that college is free there). IMO, they work really hard to make everyone equal. Also, we've got friends in Ireland with a very gifted child and although the schools will allow acceleration, no other accommodations are made for gifted children.

Nevertheless, I completely agree that travelling to other places or even living there is a fabulous learning opportunity but I'm not sure that there is an ideal place for a public education. (Yes, we HS too!)