Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Any non-gifted parents?

The moment someone lists a class of people to blame or a class of people to advocate for, I get very skeptical. The "Rich", the "poor", the "mexicans", the "whites", the "blacks", the "CEOs", the "arabs" - its all the same Rhetoric to me whether its for or against. One is used a stalking horse and the other as the whipping boy.

The fact that many people accept classifications ( social or intrinsic - "genetics" ) as a way to discuss individuals is has always been shocking to me. I suppose its because I find life stories so fascinating and see people as having many different qualities - that I see people as the events of their lives and not as their faces they present to the world. I literally do not care who someone is socially.

I'd make a good dog.

You can have a very alert baby who grows up to be a psychopath while the normal kid has "gifted" parents who provide a good upbringing and teach her how to work hard and she becomes very successful.

I think a lot about two little kids who were recently adopted from a horrible situation. They were literally animals when it started and now they are amazing little kids. I've fostered kids from some horrible families and after a few months, they hit their stride.

Its part genetics, but nurture is so much more powerful. Intelligence is not that important - what is that kids get the help they need and the opportunity to develop at their own pace while learning discipline and respect for others.

In this respect, non-HG parents may do a better job that those parents focused on "how smart Johnny is."

Good point. I am a social worker and am all about values and social skills, and all that good touchy feely stuff. I feel like my DS4 has a good shot in some ways because that is my emphasis. He is an amazing caring kid (not that I am biased) but clearly his focus is more academic. I would not change my DS for anything, but if you asked me what my goals for him are I would say that I want a caring, loving son that has values and respect for others. Education is important to me, but if he didn't want to go to college and he was happy I would be fine with that. Anyhow, sometimes I feel a little odd because I am so different from him, but I can still keep up pretty well. When he is 8 I may struggle a bit but I have a few years.

Intelligence by itself without the other values and qualities is useless. That is why it drives me nuts that classrooms focus all on academics and not character building and all that. I know that kids should be getting it home, but they often don't. I go into pre-k's and K's in the inner-city schools and teach about feelings, and what to do when we feel certain ways, and how to show others you care. It is great. Hopefully if we can start early enough we can see some changes...but that is another post entirely. I digress....