Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Gifted younger siblings?

I've read that siblings tend to be within 10 IQ points of one another, but I was wondering if anyone here has both HG and non-HG kids. We've always suspected our DD4 was high, but our DD3 is COMPLETELY different. DD4 has always been extremely verbal, well-reasoned, and INTENSE. DD3 is happy-go-lucky and not as verbal.

I did read one study that showed how parents are quite adept at identifying their oldest child as gifted, but less so when it comes to identifying the second because second siblings tend to have such different personalities from the first. DD3 tends to be overshadowed by DD4's intensity and verbosity, but I still don't see the same "gifted characteristics" in her that led me to research giftededness when DD4 was quite young. Anyone have any insight?

my older brother is very gifted, as are both of my parents...I am the middle child and not gifted, and my younger brother is gifted physically (does that count?) he excels at everything sport/physical.

Interesting topic!
We have a DS2.5 and somehow I expect him to be gifted as well, but I do think that DD5,5 is the smarter one. For example, DD was mega alert since birth, while DS alertness started when he was a few months old.
And and 2.2 DD was making remarks about 'real' cats or horses, while DS is still trying to put sentences together.
So, is he less gifted or a late bloomer?

In my family, both my sis and me are consider intelligent (but not gifted), but my younger sister is the one considered the super-smart one by my parents.

Yes, I have read that too. Our oldest, 8, is the more under-the-radar one, with dd2.5 feeling free to completely dominate the "obviously-gifted-child" spot in our house. Actually her obvious gtness has led me to feel more confident about ds's abilities since it is so likely they are close in level. The correspondence I have read about is very high.
Despite lots of ear infections during toddlerhood our dr. did not recommend ear tubes for ds, these were recommended for dd at 1 year or so, and this may make up a large part of the difference in the level they appear to be at. I don't expect to find they are exactly the same in iq or any other respect, but I am going to stop assuming things about ds and just go forward with some more detailed testing, in particular about auditory issues, but also in general for some more solid level of giftedness info.

Isa, you might want to check this out, page 78,
Giftedness in Young Children, Silverman

Nothing's hard and fast about this, but it certainly sounds like having testing done for both kids would be advisable, when the time comes...

Oh, yeah, just wanted to add that of my 3 brothers and 3 sisters and myself, some of us were formally id'd as HG, some as gt, some not at all. We all have our strengths and it is easy to see in retrospect that at least 6 of us are gifted and 1 is very very bright, at least.

Oh yes, we have the intention to test DS when he is close to 3 years old. I am pretty certain that he is GT too and that he most probably benefit from starting the school one year in advance (at 3 instead of 4 years old). It is simply that he looks a little bit less gifted... but after reading your link I start to doubt my judgement.

I think that 'in general' oldest kids tend to be more 'adult orriented' and younger sibs tend to be more focused on the older sib. So the older children usually act in ways that are impressive to adult. Plenty of exceptions here, though. Girls also tend to be savy socially enough to 'mask' more effectivly.

Even though one IQ test may give you a true picture of your child's operating IQ, I feel that ethically 'If you have reason to test one, test them all.' It is ok to wait until you have a reason to test, as long as one keeps an open mind about it.

Dottie is correct of course that the vast majority of gifted kids are between 130 and 135 (tail shape) and so lots of them have sibs within 10 points who wouldn't be identified as GT.

Here's a philosophical question: If one child is 'bright' across the board and 'HG' in one subject area, but their IQ falls just shy of the local 'gifted cut off' do they need special educational service? For me, that fact that a child needs special educational gifted service is the ONLY real definition of gifted - so I would say yes! Of course I wouldn't 'knee-jerk' throw them in the gifted program because Grinity says they are gifted - I would find a way for them to learn at their readiness level each subject.

See what I mean?

So once siblings enter the picture, comparisons are going to be made, at least silent ones. This is a perfect time to read a book regarding Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences. The trick is to try and try to keep 'seeing' and keeeping track of who each of our children are as they grow and change, yes?

Smiles,
Grinity

Jen, you just described my two girls DD5 & DD4 personallities to a tee and in the same order. I do think there is something to the birth order thing. DD5 is driven, intense, very verbal while DD4 is what we call our flower child. She's the one that always surprises us. I know she's gifted too I just don't know how gifted because she hides it. I'm sure we'll find out when she's ready to let us know.

My family was pretty spread out with gtness, from not gifted to pg (me). My oldest brother and sister were both hg, as was my middle sister. My middle brother and my younger brother were not identified as gt (both good artists and athletes, though), although my middle brother's daughter is hg. We don't fit the 10 IQ point average, but several of us were close together.

I tend to agree with Grinity on testing all siblings if there is a reason to test one. My older siblings talked enough and understood me enough that I did not have to show my verbal abilities until I was in school.

Skylersmommy - I agree completely! Flower Child is a great way of putting it. As intense as DD4 is, DD3 is always happy and occasionally shocks us with what she can do. She'll sit and sway to instrumental music with her eyes closed forever. Just today when we were doing DD4's word wall, DD3 came in and sight read several of the words. And just before I wrote this, she looked at the magazine I was perusing and said, "Mommy, you're on page 21." I didn't know she knew any of that stuff, as we've never formally taught it. So maybe she's the sleeper of the family... :-)

I actually think of DS4 as more GT than DS7 because DS4 is gifted in a completely different way than DS7 and I are. I can't give concrete examples most of the time, but he gets things on such a deep level that it always amazes me. DS7 and I are both fast and showy, he needs constant praise and acknowledgment for what he knows (and I was like that as a kid). But DS4 is completely self-assured, he doesn't care if anyone else knows, he does and that's plenty for him. It's just easier for me to see it in DS4 because I can't discount it so easily with "Well, I did that too, and I'm just MG".

I have an HG+ child who is Spock in terms of his personality and his approach to learning--very logical and even-keeled--and one who looks to me like an ND child but with the emotional sensitivities of the most PG child in the WORLD!

If it weren't for the sensitivities, I wouldn't think DS4 was GT at all. As it is, I'm suspecting some level of GT with an LD as well. It seems to make the most sense. I plan to have him tested when he's a bit older. Our psych--the one who tested DS7--suggests age 6 so he can take the WISC.

DD (5 next week ) is a smart cookie. Maybe technically GT, maybe not, but people comment that she's super-sharp. I do think school will be easy for her and we're bracing for the possibility of it being underchallenging. (I see PS in general as underchallenging even for high average non GT kids because it's catered to the masses). The reason I don't think she is PG like DS6 is because DH and I have never had that panicky "what are we going to do with her in school " discussions that we had about DS at the age of 3.

Our 1st is classic first born. I will hide and get it more than right before I show you. And it is important to me to do everything really well and show it off. The next one... I'm so glad we knew #1 was pg/hg - in other hands maybe nobody would recognize #2 because she just doesn't care to try. But she's actually brighter than #1... but she lives in la-la land. #3 is too soon to tell. She's more like #1 with more time spent thinking than talking.

Our issue will be getting school to treat #1 and #2 with the same services. #1 makes it know and asks for it. #2 doesn't finish her work. She could do 10xs harder work and leave it unfinished too. It is just her personality. We have one achievement oriented and one who is not. I think early entrance was even more important for #2 because pull-out and independent work will only go so far with her.

I put a brick on #3's head. I'm hoping she'll just be normal. If only she would stop saying things like - 2 more. I want 4 not two I need two more m&ms. Hey, kid you are two go drool on something :-)

So much like us. DS6 is extremely intense, emotional, sensitive, desires praise...and constantly shows us what he can do. DS5 is fun loving, relaxed, agile, and he doesn't care what anyone thinks he can do. It's almost as if he refuses to show off...but he is independent and self-motivated and good at sports, too...maybe he is ND! teehee.

This is an interesting topic. I wonder about this as well. With my DS4.5, it was clear early on that he was gifted (of course I was a little slow to figure it out because he was my first and I wasn't really familiar with the whole term 'gifted') But he was speaking in short sentences at 12 months, knew his abc's, colors, shapes at 15 months and was reading at 19 months. It just progressed from there. He is clearly HG+. I have a DD19mo who is quite different. She barely spoke at 17 months and within the last 2 months she started talking a lot. she just recently started counting to 10, she seems to know some colors, her shapes, and a few letters and numbers. But she is not at all as intense as DS was. DS was very into computers at her age, very into numbers, shapes, colors, and letters. She is quite interesting and funny and has a great personality. She appears advanced to me, but again very different. So while I do think she is advanced, I don't think she is anywhere near as advanced as he is. Although I am aware that it presents differently and only time will tell.

LOL, I am all to familiar with those discussions. DH and I have been having those about our DS4.5. Fun times.

I love it! This is so my family... I have five children. I broached this subject with the psych since my daughter and my nephew are so similar. I'm terrified to think that this might be true with sibling IQ's. I was reading the article from the Center for Talented and Gifted Youth on siblings, scary stuff. I'll just sit here in my own little bubble...