Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Any non-gifted parents?

LOL, people will say that about us as well. When they hear what DS does they say, is DH like that. Or they are all confused and I say, well DH is gifted. Then they say "really?" It's kind of funny because he is clearly gifted, but he is kind of quiet and sarcastic as am I (the sarcastic part, not the quiet), so people don't see him in that way.

Sorry, I had to highlight that because I thought it was cute, like a confession. ; ) I totally agree with your post. I think there is a balance. In some ways I see it as a good thing that I am not gifted, and also that I do not lack the social side. I don't know yet what LOG my DS4 is (we are doing testing in spring), but based on what he is doing I would assume he HG+. I am well aware that there could be some social challenges with this, however I feel like having the parents he has will really help him fit in more socially and be more comfortable with his peers. So far so good, we will see. I know his peers won't be interested in half the stuff he is, but it least he will have some decent social skills modeled to him. DH is gifted, but has decent social skills. And I hope no one thinks I am implying that all gifted people have poor social skills, but you hopefully know what I am saying.

Gotta run, DS4 and the rest of the fam is just getting home and I need to hear all about DS's first day at his new montessori school. ; )

I have to hold up my hand on this one too, my kids make me like a big dum dum sometimes. My DD5 is starting to correct my grammer and the way I pronounce my words. The funny thing is that she is right(I of course look it up to be sure) The last correction was the word "sherbet" I keep saying "shur-bert" and I hear out of her mouth, Mommy it's "shur-bet" not "shur-bert" I stand corrected. I know I'm in for trouble.

So I just figured it's some mutant gene that got loose in our gene pool (a good gene) until I was talking to one of my sister-in-laws. The one who is married to DH brother. "well you know your DH was tested as a genius"? "His mom used to tell me that all the time" (she's not with us anymore)

OK so now I feel like a dum dum, I knew he was smart but it never accured to me he was a genius. It all makes sense now.

looking forward to hearing how it went!

I had a similar experience with my DH. It was after DS started doing all sorts of things so early. He was reading, talking in sentences and still wasn't 2. Then one day we went out of town to visit friends. DH's good friend is clearly gifted, and is able to solve the rubix cube quickly behind his back, etc. He can even carry on a conversation and does it quite quickly. So his friend tells me after how it's not that hard to do and started to explain...that's when I kind of zoned a little. But then he said how my DH is extremely gifted and how he could pick up on it easy, and that he should go into computer programming with him etc. I thought maybe he was confused, but DH later confirmed that it was true. Huh, at least it is a gene that is in there, although DS is much more gifted than him I assume.

And the grammar correcting is something my DS does as well. And he corrects my tone/inflection when I am reading to him. And God forbid I skip or miss a word. He has to stop to explain what I messed up on. And for the record I say shur-bert too. ; )

It seemed to go well. He is only going to be going 3 half days since that is all that is affordable and all we think he needs right now. He told me today that some of the kids go every day all day long and that he would like to stay and play with them and it wasn't fair they could stay all day. I actually thought that was a good sign that he liked it that much. He spent pretty much the whole time in Math, but seemed to really enjoy it and they said he did great. So far so good.

Bah! I'm mouthier. That sure doesn't mean I'm smarter. "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." Was that Ben Franklin, I think? Wise words! LOL!

And BTW, I agree with Dottie that many people misjudge their own level of intelligence. One of the reasons I thought DS7 was MG for so long was because I thought I was MG (or less) growing up, and he seemed smarter than I was, but not one of those "college at 10yo" kids, which is what I thought HG+ was.

When I had DS7 tested, my mom handed over my test scores. Oops! I was more GT than I realized...which meant that DS7 was more GT than I realized...which meant that not all HG+ kids go to college at age 10!

Live and learn! Certainly GT denial is alive and well in people about themselves, not just about their kids.

But GT or not, this is a place for all who feel like they belong here. Speak up, please, Tall boys and others! I can't hear you in the back!

This is so timely for me. When DD was young and we could no longer spell things in front of her as a code, DH and I started spelling more obscure words. One day DH and I were talking about how to handle the stranger safety topic when DD walked in (I think she was about 4). DH spelled predator to me. DD said very seriously "yeah, I don't want to be someone's prey". That's the first time I realized that pretty soon DH and DD would be the ones talking and I would have no clue what they were saying.

And when we found out her LOG last spring, several of our friends, even DH himself, assumed it came from him. However, those who work with me or went to college with me all say it comes from both of us. In fact, my mother reminded me that my grade school differentiated for me and did subject acceleration with me.

It's been quite an awakening for me. DH and I realize now that we are both HG+, just in different ways. I'm better at math for example, even though he remembers the formulas and I don't. I have more natural ability there, as does DD.

My reason for sharing so much (I hope not TMI) is that you could be like me. I realize after reading so much about HG+ this past year that I was a perfectionistic underachiever in school and chose social stuff over academia. In other words, I hide my giftedness well, but pull it out when it suits me :-)

Don't just assume it all comes from your husband. My self-confidence has greatly improved!

Right Onnnn, Sister!

Statistically speaking, there should be a nice chunk of parents here who have a greater than 15 point difference between themselves and their kids. I don't even know how to estimate how many parents read these posts on a regular enough basis to chime in, so I don't know if the crowd here matches whatever statistics have been gathered. Can someone set up a link to one of those 'internet survey' places so we can head over there and check our numbers? We could use SAT score and year for those of us who never were tested. BTW, Mensa has some detailed info on how to use your SAT score to estimate your IQ. I don't have that link, but if someone does, please post it.

If I ever write a PhD thesis, I might pick the topic of 'people's self definitions of Gifted' - my DH, for example, is sure he isn't gifted because growing up, his best friend was 'way more brillient' than me. I didn't think I was gifted for many years because of my obvious weakness in spelling and age appropriate handwriting with early enterance peers. Given our tendency to be perfectionistic, it amazes me that any of us are willing to 'identify' as Gifted at all. Sometimes I lead small sessions for people to look back at their experiences in this area. I never know what to call them. Once I asked for women who 'have a relationship to the identity gifted' which made no sense to anyone, but gave the ones who needed to be there enough room to step forward.

Anyway, I wanted to say thanks for bringing this topic us, Shellymos, and I loved reading about how you can relate to qwishy through your love of your son. How beautiful! I don't know if you are gifted or not, but I am willing to bet that a lot of folks overlook their giftedness just because they don't fit the steriotype, and because they are amazingly gifted in the social sphere.

Shrugs and More Shrugs,
Grinity

Grinity,

My IQ was tested 115, more or less as they say. I've always considered myself an oddball, though, in that common conversation bores me...unless I'm with fellow artists or people who read a lot. I'm a deep thinker, love to discuss the world, philosophies, books, meaningful art, etc. Here in "the burbs," that type of conversation is hard to find. I experience some loneliness in the burbs, yet I know there are book clubs I can root out. Too busy writing and working, I suppose. Guess I get that need filled with my theatre. Parenting a Gkid with an IQ of 153 exhausted and stressed me quite often. The intensity, sensitivities (fussiness?) argumentation, insatiability, etc. Once they grow up, we can enjoy them as adults, have mature conversations, and it's a great reward. I love the deep conversations we have.