Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Any suggestions appreciated for behavioral issues.

Oh - also - I have on friend who always told his kids "Sometimes, I'm just going to say no, for no reason, and you need to obey - and sometimes, I'm going to listen to your reasons". I generally go with "give a reason" this is respectful to the child - but with the gifted ones - they so do like to debate - and be little lawyers - huge risk of us losing control.

Time out is the other method we were told to use for non compliance - it usually brings him "down a peg or two" / makes him calmer - but it does't seem to change the overall "delay" in just getting what it means to be good!

Also finding lunchtimes, recess, end of the day, packing up time tend to be when the misbehavior occurs/ tiredness, hunger, more freedon in the great outdoors.

Do you have specifics other than transition and change causing issues?

We have always had issues with transition and change, but now I have also pinpointed it down too obsession over certain tasks, toys, wanting to do something and NO patience in wating for certain taks, toys, activities, rewards. Has anyone else seen these issues? The more aggressive behavior often occurs when someone says something mean, won't do things the way he thinks they should be done, he can't wait for something, or something he was in te middle of gets taken away by child or teacher or just because that paritcular activity "is over now". This was a lot more acceptable when he was 3.

Our county counsellor also informed us that 6 is when kids get mean/say mean things and "life isn't fair - this isn't fair, that isn't fair" - around age 7 but I don't see that so much yet.

Has anyone else read/used the book "Positive Discipline"?

We had another good school day, but bad day at home. At least there is some progress though.

Funny you mention "life isn't fair". We had a bit of that discussion a couple of weeks ago in relation to something his brother got to do but he didn't. We *have* had things happen at school like a few children pick on DS (saying that he's a "bad boy" of all things...) He was actually pretty mature about it and just told us that it happened and that it made him feel pretty sad. I'm happy that he can talk about his feelings like that sometimes.

Little under the weather so I probably won't be on much more tonight.

Side note: it's about time for me to "remind" the school that we need to schedule our follow up GIEP meeting. Can't believe that we haven't had that scheduled yet. Sheesh.

JB

JBDad-

I highly recommend the book:
The Explosive Child (http://www.amazon.com/Explosive-Child-Understanding-Frustrated-Chronically/dp/0060931027)

There is a lot of repetition, and the book is focused on the truly explosive child; however, the technique that he puts forth for understanding your child's perspective on an issue is helpful. Basically, it teaches you to stop and find out why DS is refusing/whining/shutting down/whatever in the face of a request/demand/change of plans/failure/etc. Using the ideas with my DS6, I found out that I grossly misunderstood his perspective and reasoning abilities. After a couple of weeks, it was less mechanical (and felt less like negotiating with a terrorist), and we now can address problems before they occur (except at school cuz I am not there).

Best.