Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Adults who were accelerated themselves?

I notice there aren't too many stories of boys who were accelerated. I doubt mine is typical, but for what it's worth I'll add it here.

I was skipped from third to fourth towards the beginning of the year. After sixth grade we moved to a new town with a better school system. My parents took the opportunity to put me back in my normal grade. They were worried about my social development. My mom had been grade-skipped when she was a kid, but she insisted that the issues were different for boys than girls.

I loved being a grade ahead and hated being put back in my regular grade. One reason, which I haven't seen mentioned here, interacted with my perfectionism. When I was a grade ahead I felt much less pressure to do perfect work. I was always at the top of my class, but somehow when I was a grade ahead the difference between 100% and 99% didn't matter much. When I was put back in my normal grade that difference became crucial. The explanation I always gave myself is that when I was younger than everyone else I felt I had the right to give myself a break.

For related reasons I have always thought that being put back in my regular grade was actually bad for my social development. The reason is that being younger than others made me proud, and that pride gave me confidence. Of course, it might well have been that that confidence verged on hubris. Maybe that's the social issue my folks had most in mind.

One general comment: Isn't it remarkable how much we all read our childrens' experiences through our own? The things I'm worried about with DS are deeply related to my wanting his childhood to be happier than mine. (Not that mine was particularly unhappy, but still - there is always room for improvement.) In my case, the absolutely pervasive mood of my childhood was boredom; I do everything I can to make sure that is not an issue for DS. But who knows - maybe a little bit of boredom isn't the worst thing in the world. I constantly have to remind myself to look at DS, and not mistake him for me.

BB

Well, but I don't think working from our own experiences is a bad approach at all, provided we're aware that's what we're doing and we always ask questions.

I mean, how else can we understand the experiences of 3/4/5/6yos and help them? We have to use our own filters to do that because even HG+ kids usually don't have the ability to communicate fully their needs to us. We can only work with what we have.

Obviously we can't assume that our kids are little mini-me's, but I think we have to use what we know if we want to be effective at helping them.

I guess I'm suggesting that you all shouldn't second-guess yourselves too much there, IMHO. I think you're doing the right thing!

FWIW...

Glad it was helpful, Kcab and Dottie. As I said before, I doubt my situation was usual, and probably my reaction to it was not that usual either. So take it with a grain of salt. But at least know that that's one of the ways boys can react to acceleration (and deceleration!).



Nobody every accused me of not asking enough questions.

Seriously, though, I agree completely with Kriston's take, and I didn't mean to suggest otherwise. But I do think the caveats are doing a lot of work here, and I just meant to emphasize them.

LOL! Yes, I'm with you about the questions and caveats. I'm all about both!

I just think you're both being really good parents. I know how we all tend to overthink things sometimes--especially around this forum!--and I thought you both needed to hear from someone that what you're doing sounds pretty doggone smart, not wrongheaded in any way.

Thanks, Kriston.

BB