Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy The behaviour of gifted children

I wrote an article titled 'Emotion, Behaviour and Personality Development in the Gifted' which is published on the New South Wales Association for Gifted & Talented Children's web site at this page.

The article begins with a short tour of the Western philosophical traditions which sees us contrast emotion with the intellect to give some background as to why we tend to view emotionally intense gifted children as 'socially immature'. Intellectually gifted children (and adults) are characterised by their sensory, intellectual, psychomotor, imaginational and emotional intensities. This is not well understood in academic settings where the intellect is seen to be divorced from emotion, sensation and imagination.

The article explains research on this phenomenon and links in practical suggestions for students, parents and teachers in how to manage these issues.

Thaks for sharing the article. I really liked this part!

Oops

Thanks Rosie,
We seem to get lots of posts revolving around this question. When parents see that a child is acting in ways that are labled 'immature' the idea of a grade skip seems ridiculous. Yet the Iowa Acceleration Scale Manual doesn't ask about 'maturity.' It's weird to me how lots of behaviors that reflect 'compliance' are seen as mature in a school environment. Don't get me wrong, I think compliance is one of many important qualities for a kid to have, but I don't see it as the 'be all and end all' of maturity.

Some kids learn to overcome their 'my-way' tendencies as they mature, and some kids learn to overcome their 'go along' tendencies at they mature, yes?

Grinity

Thank you Rosie This was very helpful.

Grinity,

I had huge issues with my son when he was little. He did have some problems with twice exceptionality but his personality was definately one in which the traits which got him into a world of trouble when he was 2-7 have served him very well from then on.

People are very willing to attribute pathology to exteme behaviours in children yet often know nothing about the overexcitabilities common among gifted children. This is not to say twice exceptionality does not need diagnosis. I am the last to say that since my son is/was twice exceptional. However, even twice exceptional children have overexcitabilities and both aspects of personality need to be understood.

Social context plays a huge role in how behaviour is perceived. A gifted child can be seen as immature prior to acceleration and as mature afterwards. This is because context does shape perceptions of behaviour. This also confuses decisions regarding acceleration.

Rosie,
My son is 12 and in 8th grade (peers are 13 and 14)
I noticed that the minute his classmates entered puberty, that all the objectionable behaviors that drove the teachers crazy when he was younger, started being accepted as 'Well, Hormones, you know.'

Of course my son has learned a lot about how to manage himself over the years, but it seems that as ND kids (what expression do you use for 'Normally Developing'?) start wanting more respect and autonomy and becoming more aware of the bigness of the world, and less aware of 'did I bring a pencil to class' they make a much better camouflage for my kid. I wonder if what gets attributed to puberty is more a matter of learning to handle onself in public while being 'self-aware, and distracted by a much larger picture.'

I hope I'm being fair to ND kids, as I don't have a whole lot of experience here. But I am thinking that a newborn is developmentally programmed to only see a little bit, and just what she needs to bond and nurse. I have great respect for ND and think it's a very beautiful thing. ((Although I do wish there was more know about this particular path of 'Alternative Development' so that the parenting advice I've gotten from people expecting my kid to be ND would have worked and we would have been less 'blamed' for it not working.))

Anyway, I'm generalizing, which I have no business doing, as I certianlly know many very gifted adults who are great in a specific area, but still wouldn't qualify as 'self-aware' in my book. Just wondering if we can push the known world's boundries out a bit.

Ginity

My ten year old twice exceptional son is really interested in learning about sociology, psychology, how the differences in the brain cause certain behavior, and how certain conditions can have similar symptoms.

In a Sparknotes sociology textbook he read online and also a Wikipedia article, he particularly enjoyed reading about dramaturgical theory. He immediately thought of Shakespeare's "All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players, they have their exits and their entrances: and one man in his time plays many parts."

When we read that in a dramaturgical model, social interaction is analyzed as if it were part of a theatrical performance and that people are actors who must convey their personal characteristics and their intentions to others through performances, he totally understood this, as well as impression management, and front stage and back stage behavior, and about not breaking character unless you are backstage. These were things he learned in musical theater and tried to apply in real life already, but here it was in a textbook with terms to describe it.

He rarely had meltdowns in public after the age of 5, and I think it might have been because he got the "All the Worlds a Stage" thing even at age 5. He and his musical theater class studied Shakespeare when he was five. He was always aware that other people watched him, mostly because he was so little but talked more like an adult, but sometimes when he was very excited his sensory issues got the best of him and he did this thing with his hands like he was shaking water off of them when there was no water, although at five he did spend lots of time washing his hands. He once told his doctor that it was like he felt so much energy that he had to do something with it. It didn't bother him when people watched him because he looked at it like if they were going to watch him, he would just try to put on a good show, usually by doing or saying something to make them laugh. So this was great for him but it was difficult for me since I had social anxiety issues. I was always a very shy "backstage" kind of person, and when people were looking at him, they were also looking at me and it made me nervous.