Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Homeschooling and Schedules

One of my husband's sisters, a former college geology professor married to a rocket scientist, and mother of two gifted kids who do not have dyspraxia like my son told me that it was "just a matter of scheduling" when I mentioned that I sometimes had trouble getting my son to practice piano. This is the same sister-in-law that seemed bothered by the fact that my son with dyspraxia can't use a knife as skillfully as her kids. This just is not one of our priorities at the moment.

I have done some more thinking about our lack of a schedule and I wonder if this really is a problem. I know that in my former working life I lived by schedules, and in fact really liked schedules, and most of the time things seemed to work out according to schedule. But there were times in my working life when something unusual happened and then we had to do things in order of priority, with less important things just stacking up to be worked on some time in the future, and it feels like this is what my son and I are doing.

One of our priorities at the moment is helping my parents which means being available to take care of my mother if my dad has to go out for any reason and spending time with them daily and this can't always be scheduled. People, especially family, will always be priority number 1.

But there are other reasons that would make having a schedule difficult. Little things like my son taking twice as long as I think it should take him to get dressed and handwriting practice taking three times as long as I think it should take him and the migraines we both get that tend to slow us down. I think if we had a schedule, it would just bother me that we couldn't stick to it.

I also think a schedule might not work as well for a kid like mine who learns best by reading and discussing and there is no way I could estimate the amount of time he will need to get through all the questions he has.

If I had made up a schedule, I might have scheduled only 30 minutes to read and discuss the five page story in the Story of the World about the Russian Revolution. By the time we looked up the answers to all of his questions, it was two hours later.

It took 30 minutes to get through the first two paragraphs because he wanted to compare the lives of Russian peasants with the lives of African Americans after the Civil War. Lots of discussion there.

We talked about his need to discuss things and he told me had the gift of looking at things from different perspectives. He said he thinks he must have inherited the optimism gene from his Dad and the pessimism gene from me and he thinks that "nothing is good or bad--it depends on how you look at it." As an example, he talked about Jim Crow laws and he said most people would say that they were bad, totally bad, but he wondered if the Jim Crow laws might have prevented deaths in a few cases because he thought some people were so upset about changes after the Civil War that maybe they needed to be kept apart, like a cooling off period after a fight, before things could really change for the better. He just wants to take the time to look at things from every angle.

The second page of the Russian Revolution story took us about 30 minutes because he wanted to look up more info on Rasputin and hemophilia. Looking up info on hemophilia led to questions about blood transfusions, HIV, and whether or not kids infected with HIV could be immunized against common childhood diseases.

The Rasputin article led to looking up the word hearsay, because my son is interested in law and had heard the word before but had never looked it up. Somehow we ended up talking about where the term right wing conspiracy originated and whether or not there was now a left wing conspiracy.

He kind of laughed when we read that a "provisional government" took over after czar gave up the throne and he said "yeah, anarchy."

When we read about Lenin, he had to make a joke because the name sounded a lot like linen but he wasn't a "man of the cloth."

He will practice piano today. It is a priority even with him now that the teacher says she wants him to do a recital. He never had to do this before even though he has taken piano lessons since he was five.

And he will have to practice writing even though it is not one of "his" priorities. I didn't realize that I needed to have him continue practicing printing when he was focused on learning cursive. His printing is getting sloppy again, especially on paper without lines, but I won't have him practice too much. I want him to have time for fun. This is another one of our priorities. You are only a kid once and Rock Band is waiting.

I think you've found an excellent, flexible way to educate your son. If you had sticked to your schedule, he wouldn't have learned all those other interesting things. And to me, learning about the interesting extras helps me remember the original subject better anyway. I think if I ever end up homeschooling, we'll be extremely flexible.

It sounds like your son is learning about setting priorities, too, with the piano recital.

Schedules might work for some people, but i say who needs 'em!

I must say, Lori, that your son sounds like an absolutely delightful person!

go with the flow is my mantra (except when we have to GET OUT THE DOOR!)

I had a sister-in-law like that when our kids were young. I still have that sister-in-law but we don't bug each other now. We don't hang out together, we're very much different. When we do get together we have a great time. And when she needed someone to take her to the hospital with the worst stomach bug I've ever seen, and she couldn't reach her husband, I was the one there for her.

My point? If your sil gives advice you didn't ask for, ignore it. If you asked, then consider it-as you are considering this-but if it doesn't work for you-like her ideas on scheduling don't work for you-- then put it behind you!

You may have to limit your contact with your sil for a while, and when you do have contact then steer the conversation to a neutral topic.

btw, do most 10 year olds handle a dinner knife well? My GS9 does not, but he got the hang of chopsticks right away on Sunday. Funny thing, he's a lefty and used the chopsticks right handed. He couldn't do it left handed!

eta-you already figured out the priority thing to get piano practice in, but I can see how it would be pushed down the list when you're having the kind of discussions you are having with this kid. What a great amount of thought he's putting into, and getting out of his education!

I think it's always smart to consider what you can do better--in any area of life, but especially with homeschooling.

But ultimately, if what you do works for your son and works for you, then you go with that. It doesn't really matter what your SIL (or anyone else!) thinks. If you and your son accomplish enough that you feel he's getting a good education, then it's okay.

Especially under the circumstances, with all that you have on your plate, I think you do just fine. (But, of course, my opinion doesn't really matter either! )

Lori,

There are several subcultures in the US that are Oral Cultures and if you cannot think orally, gather information orally, and question people well, you cannot survive.

Patton had attrocious handwriting and some other fine motor issues so he focused on oral learning. He had to work very hard to keep up in other areas with his peers and that work ethic, and EXPECTATION that he had to work hard, carried over into other areas.

The military, government and executive ranks are oral cultures. Some areas of law are oral cultures. Theater and movie directing are oral cultures. Some math departments are oral cultures.

You can see where I am going. Your son is developing phenomenal oral skills that will set him apart from his peers and most of society. He is also learning to be patient with limited time and within a constrained social arrangement - again, not something most kids deal with. And, he gets to see what Compassion is, not read about it in a book. And unlike those programmed kids who think all life is streamlined, your son sees that its not that easy.

BTW, I just finished this book on Stalin. Stalin was clearly GT - reading very early and deeply. Its a good read and gives background into how he became who he was. It fits in with Paul Johnson's thesis on similar leaders.

http://www.amazon.com/Young-Stalin-...mp;s=books&qid=1227030531&sr=8-1

We just got through reading Animal Farm and my son loved trying to figure out who the characters represented and what might happen next before going to sparknotes.com to read their analysis and take the test over the book. I think he might enjoy the book on Stalin. My husband, who quickly worked his way up in the military before retiring, wants him to watch a movie about Patton. A few years ago, my son and I got to go to a reunion of some the people my husband used to work with and they were all very smart people.

The "Patton Papers" are an excellent, excellent work. Another man who grew up in the same footsteps, but two decades later - of Patton was Colonel Jeff Cooper. He was an acomplished hunter and tracker and writer by the time he was 12 years old. When he was 17 he planned and executed a horseback hunting trip to Alaska where he hunted solo much of the time. He is an excellent writer. If you like Heinlein, you will like Cooper's memoirs and the "Patton Papers."

As for bright people in the Military - that is very true. When my dad was getting his technical certs at civilian schools while he was in the Army, he had perfect scores at all his schools. When I was in, I learned to expect some real gems no matter where I was. Giftedness exists at ALL levels of our society - they just need opportunity to shine. The military is a meritocracy where you advance solely based upon your abilities so the cream rises very fast.

Another person is Col John Boyd. He did more to advance military theory than anyone since Sun-Tzu. He is probably the most gifted philosopher of the latter 20th century and unless you spent time in the military, you probably have not heard of him. He also made key advances in aviation theory as well.