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    Joined: Oct 2008
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    I hope the health days help your son and I think that approach makes a great deal of sense. One thing you might consider if you're looking to accelerate him using the Iowa Acceleration Scale is that there is a section for attendance at school. A history of excessive unexcused absences and tardiness or even frequent excused absences would give him a lower score. Obviously your son's health comes first, but it may be a factor in getting him in a better situation.

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    montana Offline OP
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    It's possible, and we've mentioned that both to the school and to his testing psychologist. Definitely, mom is more tired and dad more frazzled. But on the whole he seems much better off than he was the first time he got a little brother, 3 years ago, and we're finding the transition a lot easier, too. I wish there were a way to take out the new baby layer of the experience to see how much that intensified the school problem! But these are issues he's been having since last fall, that we've been trying to handle in a calm, low-level, everything's going to work out, of course we believe you, oh school people way, and we've only seen the problems intensify, as we've tried to tell the school, it's getting worse, it's getting worse.

    We've worked hard to keep ds6's life interesting and on an even keel despite the baby - let him do soccer, started cub scouts, run around to weekend things with him, scheduled play dates trying to make him feel more comfortable in school. I'm more worried about ds3, who's caught between the baby and all the focus on ds6. Ds6 kind of benignly overlooks the baby, but ds3 adores him and also, I assume, is overwhelmed by him.

    this isn't the first time I've been convinced the child-rearing requires at least three adults. I don't know how single parents do it, at all!

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    montana Offline OP
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    thank you, inky! I didn't know that. I want to try to get the library to find me a copy of that - I was astonished at how much it costs!

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    it was very sad that our son got the "birthday pox" this year..... he he he

    We have been having a similar problem, NOT NEARLY AS BAD!!!!!!!

    I feel for him and you! I hope you can work it out.

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    I don't know CT laws, I'm in CA. But here, if a child is emotionally or physically incapable of being in a classroom- they can be placed on home/hospital care. That means a teacher has to come to your home once a week and provide lessons etc. The school has a responsibility to do something- even if it's not at the level you're expecting or he needs.

    However, there is often a stigma attached to H/H kids when they are returning to a classroom after an emotional leave. He may be viewed as fragile and unstable so you'll have to weigh your options as to the benefits. Contact your school district anonymously and ask them something like "We're moving to the area soon and my son has an illness that keeps him out of class for weeks at a time. What kinds of services do you offer?" Leave it neutral and nonspecific and then you'll have an answer to work with in the short run.


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    montana Offline OP
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    wow. I've never heard of a service like that! That's really cool - although not the part about then viewing them as unstable!!

    Which who knows, my ds might being working on a reputation as! He kind of solved my crying "don't want to but am really stressed and it might even be good strategy" problem this morning by having a complete and utter meltdown himself when they handed him some unbearably dull book in reading class today. He ended up sobbing in the counselor's office for more than half an hour, and completely freaked out the school. For the first time I'm hearing "we need to fix this" from at least the counselor, and the stonewalling has shifted to "we need to meet as soon as possible." Then, we get to play dueling assessments...yay.

    I'm not at all convinced that their fixes will BE fixes, but we finally have at least one person who thinks we have a serious problem here. I feel so horrible for my ds...but hopeful that maybe at last they'll stop treating us like hothousing, complaining parents trying to push our ordinary ds where he can't go. Maybe they'll LISTEN now.

    And I'm really sad that he had such an unbearable day even on the November birthday celebration day. :-( The ordinary days must be hell.

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    I'm sorry your DS was so upset, Montana, but if it helps make a dent in the problem, then maybe it's a good thing.

    Here's hoping!


    Kriston
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    Yes, I'm sorry he was so upset but I'm glad it's gotten the ball rolling. I wish my son would have acted out rather than letting all fester. I always get "But he's so happy at school!'

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