Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Seeking opinions on this one

I'm glad to hear you're so on the ball with this diagnosis and his treatment. I hope I can add some support to what everyone has given.



So it sounds like the teacher needs more information on Selective Mutism. The very heart of the problem is that they don't "just open up and start talking," especially if they desparately want to.
Maybe if you had her read some journal articles or some literature from his psychiatrist, she would ease up and not have her expectations so misplaced. Also, she might feel like she is part of a team - child, parents, psych, teacher.



This comment kind of struck me, because people with Selective Mutism don't "learn to participate in a discussion." They have experience participating in discussions at home with family, maybe with cousins, and possibly with a good friend or two.

They also learn like all of the other kids from listening in the classroom as to what a good response is or not.

The problem isn't 'learning to participate in discussions,' but easing up the tension when he wants to contribute. The teacher may feel it is her job to teach him to participate, when really she'd better off easing up on him and treating him like everyone else so he doesn't feel singled out, adding to his anxiety.

Also, she should make him feel like what he says matters, so that he doesn't feel pressure from the idea that people may think about him differently if he says something wrong.

I completely agree with Dottie about getting him a 504 to address some of these issues.

In the 504, besides grading, I'd also have him sit next to as many "buddies" he feels comfortable enough to talk to in a variety of school situations - field trips, reading time, going to the library, assemblies, class groups - but then also adding a new child or two to the team/group/partners. This way he has a friend to talk to while at the same time he is widening his circle of true friends.

Oh - I she sounds malicious to me. Sad that she's the best he's gotten so far. I hope next year will be better. ((heart breaking))

I'm so glad to hear this! I don't believe children should do their own advocacy, but in the right situation with the right teacher it can be very empowering to the child.

Sounds like this was one of those. So wonderful that he feels comfortable with teacher.

Ups and downs, this is clearly a big up!

Keep on it!

((Hugs!))

So sorry your son, and you, are going through this. I have worked as a school counselor with kids that have this social anxiety, and selective mutism (which to me sounds like what you are describing even though that may not be his current diagnosis). One of the worst things you can do in working with kids that have these issues is to force them to talk and confront them regularly on the fact that they don't talk. You encourage communication, be it verbal or in other ways. You set them up in small groups and situations where they feel more comfortable talking and the more they talk with a positive experience, the more comfortable they will be speaking in school. I would suggest you find some articles on the internet about selective mutism and how to work with children on this in school setting. You will find multiple resources and it all focuses on team effort and even though it can be frustrating for teachers, they can mess it all up by being too pushy. I had to print some out and we reviewed and had a team meeting at some point with other staff so we all were helping not harming the situation. Also wanted to mention that I worked with a 2nd grader that was very bright but had never said one word in the school building. Not one word at all. Parents brought in video tapes of him talking so we could see. He did projects at home and we brought the tapes in to show the class and he was okay with that. I also worked with a girl who never said a word in school and I put her in a amall group with her peers and now she yells my name in the hall when she sees me and talks and talks. Anyhow, the more patient and accepting you are with these kids, the better they can do. It's kind of common sense, if a kid is crying and scared you don't yell in their face "stop crying". Hope that is somewhat helpful.

Master of none,

As a school administrator, I don't even know where to begin. First, get the 504 plan immediately. This is a legally binding document which the teacher MUST implement. Requirements may vary from state to state but in Florida if you have a diagnosis (ADHD, selective mutism) that affects student learning, you can get a 504 plan.

Second, there should be district guidelines that guide grading procedures for teachers. If you are unable to get clear answers from the teacher, I would go to the school administrator to discuss the situation. He or she can certainly give you district policy, but may also be the voice of advocacy that the teacher listens to. You can also check the accuracy of whether or not the teacher is "allowed" to teach above level. Typically, remarks like that are not accurately describing the school or district's policy. I've worked in 4 different districts in 2 states and have yet to know of any school or district administrator who wants to teach all children the same topic at the same time regardless of their abilities.

Lastly, continue to advocate for your child. You are not being unreasonable (from my OSH administrative position). The days of schools being nothing but preparation for assembly-line jobs are long gone and, at least in my district, students' INDIVIDUAL needs are met.

Sorry for the long post.

We like those around here. Especially when they're right!